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September 30, 2005i'm taking a few days offI am tired. I think I'm going to take a weekend off and go sit on a rock somewhere and eat some sourwood honey, because the walls are closing in on me. I'll see you again maybe Sunday, or Monday or whatever.
quote of the dayI'm not gonna link to this blog, because it's a pisshole. But here's what it had to say about me: This is the "I've got mine, the hell with you" attitude that so marks the Capitalist system, and embodied in it's most virulent form in the subspecies of Amerikan know as the redneck. As a rule they don't possess much, but they seem to be hyper possesive with what they do have, without a care for the suffering of their neighbors and the poor that have even less. He wouldn't have that money without the effort of those that he excoriates, I'm sure he did nothing of value to "earn" it, he merely oversaw the real producers of value and skimmed the cream off the top, leaving the dregs for the underlings to fight over. Are leftists losers? I rest my case.
September 29, 2005i give upI voted twice for George Bush and my republican state repersentatives for two reasons: I wanted less federal spending and I wanted less federal control over my life. I didn't get what I voted for. I may never vote again. It doesn't matter anymore.
more pure shitNow, being left-handed is a health risk. What will "science" come up with next?
guns, guts and guitarsI took a very good picture this morning of my recording studio with a few musical instruments for props, along with a couple of rifles, pistols and a tub of "chitterings" (Called "chit-lins" down South---those are hog intestines) just to make the picture perfect. I doubt that I will eat the chitlins. I may try to fry up a batch, but I spent $5.00 on that bucket just for the picture. I've eaten chitlins many times before, but they ain't one of my favorite foods. The picture is exquisite. I'm gonna post it once I shrink it down to blog-sizable dimentions. It looks really good. Guns, guts and guitars, all in one. Hell, if Ted Nugent ever sees that photo, he may give me a call.
dream. And dream bigI don't believe since childhood that I ever walked into a room full of strangers and thought that anyone in that room was "better" than I am. Some of the people may have donned fancier clothes and had more money or education than I did, but that didn't impress me. I've known a LOT of educated, rich idiots. I've always thought that if they just threw a ball up for grabs, I could fight for it with the best of them. Most of the time, I was right. I bless my parents (especially my father) for teaching me to think that way. He never took a back seat to anybody in his life, and he served as an example to show me and my brother some valuable lessons. If you boil it all down, his advice was simple: * Get an education. Learn everything that you can. * Stand up for yourself. Don't let people push you around. * Always remember that EVERYBODY shits between two shoes, no matter how rich they are. Money does not make a man. * Don't EVER expect something for nothing. * You get what you work for. If it was easy, any asshole could do it. I think that's damn good advice. It's served me well in MY life, and wish that more people today taught those simple lessons to THEIR children. The world would be a better place.
fall in the mountainsThis is a beautiful post. Go read it. I like the red colors that sourwood trees put out in the early fall. You can find "Sourwood Honey" for sale all over north Georgia this time of year, and I need to be dragged off and shot for never buying any. I don't know what's so special about sourwood honey, but I would like to try some, on toast or biscuits, with real butter. A lot of people say that spring is their favorite season of the year. I disagree. I like fall the best. After sweating my ass off in the summer heat, I can enjoy sitting on my back porch and smoking a cigar in the evening while I watch migratory birds flock around my feeders. The weather is nice, the trees are turning colors and the mosquitoes have retired for a while. It's FOOTBALL SEASON, too! Just damn! I don't like cold weather, but that nip in the air at night feels good to me right now. I love fall.
it's not their moneyWhy the hell shoud THEY care where it goes? If you're not already pissed off by this shit, you should be now. Do you own your own home? Think about it. I pay for homeowner's insurance. If something happens to my house, I won't be bleating to the federal government for money. I'll be bitching at my agent to make things right. If I owned a business, you can bet your sweet ass I would have that insured, too. Once the federal government starts dumping truckloads of taxpayer dollars into every got-dam disaster that comes down the pike, we're done for as a country. Unlike ME with my insurance company, the people asking for dough now never paid any premiums to deserve it. And don't give me any shit about these people being too "poor" to afford insurance. Renter's insurance is dirt cheap. For about $15 a month you can insure every piece of property you own. I'll bet you that the people WITHOUT renter's insurance managed to have cable TV. Don't feed me that "poor" bullshit. This is not a federal government to the rescue issue. It's a goddam feeding frenzy. If it were up to me, I wouldn't give those whining, irresponsible bastards a fucking dime. The inspectors general from half a dozen agencies, as well as officials from the Government Accountability Office, on Wednesday were addressing a House subcommittee on the Katrina cleanup and announcing several new audits to combat waste and fraud. No shit, Sherlock. And I already know how good the federal government is at "oversight" when it comes to spending money. Fuck New Orleans and fuck Louisiana. Tear down the levees and let it all wash into the Gulf of Mexico. Maybe the ensuing flood will take out a few corrupt politicians and make the world a better place. That's MY money they're begging for. I earned it. They didn't. And I don't believe in rewarding irresponsibility.
September 28, 2005things i learned from moviesI've been studying and here are the facts: * All cars blow up in a big fireball when they wreck. * All wimmen are beautiful and horny for an action hero. * You should ALWAYS hold a pistol sideways in your hand. * If you are diving or doing summersaults, you can't be shot. * If you know kung-fu, you can fly. Why the NBA doesn't recruit those air-ladder climbers is a mystery to me. * Good guys always get wounded in the left shoulder or the leg. * Whores have hearts of gold. (Some actually do! But most don't.) * All action heroes can drive with the skill of a NASCAR racer. * Bad guys can't shoot for shit. Even with automatic weapons. * ALL bombs on timers tick down to about two seconds before the action hero figures out which wire to cut to disarm it, and then go fuck the girl. * Magic guns exist. A six-shot revolver can fire nine times without reloading. I've SEEN that on television, and I want a gun that loads itself. I'd pay good money for that. * Every Vietnam veteran has a footlocker stored somewhere with grenades, dynamite and some kind of exotic high-powered rifle in there. * Wimmen who go through the wringer, damn near get killed and have to crawl through a sewer to survive emerge with manicured nails with no dirt under them. Their coif usually doesn't look too bad, either. Movies---just like a real slice of life.
gamblingWhen I go to a casino, I stick with two games. I play Blackjack and Texas Hold-Em. I don't poke money into slot machines and I don't know enough about the craps table to feel comfortable betting my money there. I play what I know. If you stay long enough in a casino, you're gonna lose money. If that weren't the case, casinos wouldn't be in business. Understand that fact when you walk in the door. Most slot machines are set to pay at about 10% less than the money pumped into them. You may get hot and win every now and then, but if that ever happens, take your coins and leave. If you keep feeding money into that machine, it will eat you in the long run. Blackjack is a game with about a 2% house vigorish, and you're not going to do much better than that in a casino. The house advantage comes from dealing the cards and playing last. The dealer hits on sixteen and stands on seventeen. Most of the vigorish depends on players going bust before the dealer ever looks at his bottom card. Some people call that game "21" and they are all losers. I call it "Beat the Dealer," and I've done well at it a few times in the past. There's nothing racist about it, either.
rumor mongering?I can't believe that poor, dumb black people would do such a thing. No way. When Georgia first started a lottery, black people bought tickets by the bushel. In fact, some of them bragged about being "players," whatever the fuck that means. (actually, I know what a "player" is. That's a dumbass who spends $100 every week on lottery tickets.) When they didn't win, they had it all figured out. It was a racist plot, the lottery was rigged, and a black person couldn't win. I am a gambling man. I had the nerve to ask this question to some of the more militant losers. "The lottery pays $600 on every $1,000 bet. Nobody needs to rig that game. What for? The state is getting THEIR vigorish no matter who wins. If you bet against those odds, you're gonna lose. It's a sucker bet, and YOU are suckers for taking it. Why would the state "rig" a lottery that's already rigged from the get-go? But it's somehow "racist?" To them it was. That's how stupid some people are. And at the risk of being called a racist again, I'm gonna say--- black people are inclined to that kind of reaction. I'm getting sick and tired of that shit, because I believe that people make their own luck, and black people could do the same if they stopped seeing the racist booger-man every time they turn around. Does racism exist? Sure, it does. But NOT in the Georgia lottery and anybody with half a brain should understand that fact. Of course, anybody with half a brain wouldn't spend $100 dollars a week on lottery tickets, either.
it's trueMusic will do this to you. At least it's always done it to me. I associate a lot of my life with the songs I listened to at the time. Those songs trigger memories and I can almost SMELL where I was and what I was doing at the time. Of course, my musical memories go all the way back to Buddy Holly, Elvis, Danny and the Juniors, the Everly Brothers, the Coasters and THEN through the Beatles and serious rock & roll. I'm a lot older than Flynny is. But I still get that same feeling when I hear songs I associate with my past.
i'm out of the loopBloggers are going nuts about it, but I don't have a clue what this is about. What have I been missing?
incompetenceSay what you will, but this guy fucked up. He'd better resign before he gets fired in public. Ignoble? His "leadership" was FAR worse than that. I SAW film of New Orleans police joining the looters after Katrina. "To proctect and to serve?" Not hardly. As the city slipped into anarchy during the first few days after Katrina, the 1,700-member police department suffered a crisis. Many officers deserted their posts, and some were accused of joining in the looting that broke out. Two officers Compass described as friends committed suicide. If that's "leadership," I'm a monkey's uncle. Twice in my life, I've been one of the last people out of the chemical plant when we shut down for a hurricane. I stayed at my post because it was my JOB, and I knew that I accepted such a responsibility when I took it. I never volunteered to ride the storms out at the plant (I had a family to think about) but I stayed for as long as it took to get everything done right. After all, I had to start the fucking place back up again after the storm passed. I drove home through a deluge of rain during Hugo, and Floyd damn near stranded me in the evacuation. But I stayed on my job as long as I needed to be there before I hauled ass. To me, it was a combination of pride and responsibility. Those qualities seem to be sorely lacking in the New Orleans police department. And I blame Eddie Compass for that fact.
cultural exchangeMost people who say they don't like grits just never had 'em cooked right. I LOVE grits. Grits are good straight-up, with some salt, pepper and REAL butter, but if you throw in some crumbled bacon and some cheese and serve with a couple of over-easy eggs, they're even better. I hope this care package doesn't go to waste. Follow Cat's recipe, Livey. You don't fry grits. Ya BOIL them. (UPDATE: Actually. you CAN fry grits. If you make a pot in the mornimg and don't eat it all, just put the leftovers in the refrigerator. That evening, the grits will have the consistency of play-dough and you can make hamburger-sized patties out of them. Pour some olive oil in a pan and fry them until they're crusty on both sides. DELICIOUS with steak or seafood. Of course, the grits are COOKED RIGHT first.) They are good with shrimp or fish, too.
quote of the dayI'm not certain what this means: "...we embrace the goal of moving beyond civilization and will not settle for reform on any level." That idea set my mind reeling. Just how the hell do you move "beyond civilization?" Go back to living in a cave? You can read more of this dumbass blather here, if you have the stomach for it.
you never get over itI once posted a list of famous people who died from prostate cancer, along with a link to a list of survivors. I watched my father and my best friend die from that disease, and when I was diagnosed with it, I was frightened, especially given the circumstances I was in at the time. No money. No wife (she was busy fucking the unemployed dope-smoker at the time, after stealing all the money). No home. I was kinda depressed there for a while. I wasn't afraid of dying, but I damn surely didn't want to go that way. It is a slow, miserable, painful death. Dan Fogleberg has always been a favorite of mine. In fact, I had one of his CDs (I forget which one, but it has the song "Go Down Easy" on it) and I noticed that he played and sang damn near everything on the entire record all by himself. That's what I'm trying to do now, and it ain't as easy as you might think, even with good recording equipment. I've never "produced" a record before. I'm going to have to work at this shit a while. I think I'll get the hang of it eventually, but I know I won't get it right on the first try. Hell--- I've got plenty of time to learn. That's a long-winded lead-in to this email: A little off topic but I wrote you about 6 months ago about Dan Fogelberg' s prostrate cancer. I thought you would appreciate this: I hate to say this, but "slowing the progression of my prostate cancer down to an almost negligible level." is a death sentence. That's just the way that disease is. If it ever spreads, you can slow it, but you can't stop it. October 7 will make four years since I had my surgery. I appear to be cancer-free now. I'll never be the man I once was, but at least I'm alive. I wish Dan Fogleberg a long life, but if I were you, I'd keep an eye on the obituaries.
uh huh...Here's some more scientific research that tells me science doesn't have enough to do anymore. I'll tell you straight out why men don't listen to wimmen, and it has nothing to do with the larynx or vocal cords. We simply can't understand them. Wimmen speak in riddles and codes--- you're supposed to read between the lines---and they expect a guy to pick up on that shit. We usually don't and they get pissed off. We're "insensitive" because we can't read their minds. Guys are much more direct. They say things like "Fuck YOU, pissface! Let's go outside and settle this!" Fisticuffs ensue. Wimmen say "If anybody tells you that dress makes your ass look fat, they're lying. It makes your ass look BIG, but not fat." A cat-fight begins. It's dogs and cats, Mars and Venus, testosterone versus estrogen. Men are not BUILT to understand wimmen and they never will. Nature pulled off a cruel trick by making us this way, but that's how it is. In my personal research, I've discovered that wimmen possess more batshit-crazy genes than men do. Maybe that's because of the complexity of their minds. They read Harlequin romance novels and get the vapors during the bodice-ripping scenes. Men lie on the couch and watch football games. Wimmen "feel" and men think. That's NOT a good combination.
September 27, 2005pure greedThis kind of thinking is what put Louisiana where it is in the first place. Just grab all the money you can. Wanna talk about unmitigated gall? The state's representatives have come up with a request for $250 billion in federal reconstruction funds for Louisiana alone -- more than $50,000 per person in the state. This money would come on top of payouts from businesses, national charities and insurers. And it would come on top of the $62.3 billion that Congress has already appropriated for emergency relief. That's not "relief." It's "looting." I feel like a complete asshole for donating $100 to the Salvation Army. I thought I was doing something to help needy people. I would have been better off spending that money on chicken livers to throw in the water to attract the bottom-feeders, which are out in force now. Just damn! Louisiana is a fucked-up state, it's BEEN fucked up since the days of Huey Long and I don't have any more compassion for them. Wanna rebuild New Orleans? Then do it your fucking self. Otherwise, move to another state. After this display of greed, I couldn't give a shit. $50,000 per person? Kinda makes those debit cards look cheap, doesn't it? No... it makes Louisiana look like the cesspool it really is. I am ashamed that the state is in the South.
aha! I overcame!!!I got all the recording stuff hooked up and plugged in. And YES--- I did need a hammer to drive the power cords into the surge protector, but I got it done without damaging anything. I turned everything on and it doesn't even hum. Quiet as a mouse in the house. I think I'm going to try it out shortly. If I can successfully transfer the stuff from the Tascam onto a CD, I'm in business.
more on songwritersThe best one ever? Hank Williams. I defy you to argue with that fact.
buncha pervertsI wouldn't want my name on this study. Public restroom spies? That's REAL science for you. I don't always wash my hands when I use a public restroom. I try not to touch ANYTHING in the got-dam place unless I have to. And my daddy taught me as a boy not to piss on my hand when I take a leak. My dick is clean. That bathroom isn't. I flush with my foot when I'm not in one of those auto-flush contraptions all airports seem to have now. And seeing the people who are so hygenic to wash their hands in public restrooms, I'd just as soon wash my hands in a commode as use a sink behind them. Bejus. I don't like touching the doorknobs in those places, and I'm no prude.
I almost had the big oneAfter being cat-bombed for years by Denny, I almost could not believe my eyes when I saw this post. If he'd have left that ugly cat picture off the bottom, it would have been totally beautiful. But he just HAD to stick a cat picture in there. I still say he needs to be dragged off and shot.
completely suckworthyDiversity ("ALL HAIL DIVERSITY!!!") is one thing, but this is another. If you come to this country and don't have the common courtesy to learn the English language, you should be thrown out on your ass. In California, Spanish is more important than English, Paik. "I haven't found any inconvenience because I don't speak English. Ain't that sweet? Got-dam! Let's give California back to Mexico. Mexicans are experienced at picking fruits and that state is full of them. Let the Hispanics move in and take over. Or let that benighted state slide into the ocean after the next big earthquake.
expiration dateFrom the day you are born, you have an expiration date stamped on your ass, just like a gallon of milk. You can't see it, but it's there. That's why this shit happens. My 94 year-old grandmother still believes that people reap what they sow. I don't. The good DO die young, and some bloodless cunts live forever, as Jennifer probably will, no matter how much evil she perpetrates in this world. It's all just a roll of the dice. The expiration date is all that matters.
sleep patternsIf anybody's been paying attention to the times on my posts, you might notice something strange. I blog at odd hours anymore. There's a perfectly good reason for that. I've been VERY sick for quite a while now and the nights became something I feared. I don't think there's a worse curse in the world than insomnia when everybody else in the world is sleeping blissfully. I got tired of waking up in the dark at 3:00 AM and not being able to go back to sleep. So... I decided to fool my body clock. I'd take a long nap during the day and STAY UP until 3:00 AM. Hell--- it was just like working shiftwork. That way, I had to sleep only three or four hours before daylight. My plan worked too well. I probably sleep 12 hours a day now, but I do it all in brief naps. If I sleep four hours straight, no matter what time of day, I think I've really accomplished something. There's a blog-meet in Helen, Georgia, this weekend and I would like to go to mend some broken fences with some friends. But I'm not gonna make it. I wanted to go to the grocery store today, but I walked outside and fell down in my yard after another brownout. I had to crawl back into my house. I was afraid to drive after that. I've been pooting around with my home recording system. Pooting around is about as far as I get. I can't force the power plugs into the surge protector. That's how goddam weak I am. I'm thinking about taking a hammer and seeing if I can POUND the goddam plugs in. I've always been virile, active and athletic all my life. At the age of 50, I could still walk the young bucks into the ground on the stairs at work. Now, my legs wobble, I'm weak as a kitten and I can't eat ANYTHING. I couldn't make it up a flight of stairs if my life depended on it. I've lost 45 pounds in the last year. I do good to make it to my mailbox and back. I actually started to call my daughter tonight and ask her if she would come stay with me for a couple of weeks if I bought her a plane ticket. I need a caretaker. And a chauffer. I don't trust myself to drive a car anymore. Other than those minor problems, everything is bright and sunny in my life.
gator taleThanks to BOB: A filthy rich North Carolinaman decided that he wanted to throw a He held the party around the pool in the backyard of his mansion. At the height of the party, the host said, "I have a 10ft man-eating The words were barely out of his mouth when there was a loud splash Leroy was fighting the gator and kicking its ass! Leroy was jabbing The water was churning and splashing everywhere. Both Leroy and the Finally the host says, "Well, Leroy, I reckon I owe you a million "No, that's okay. I don't want it," said Leroy. The rich man said, "Man, I have to give you something. You won the "No thanks. I don't want it," answered Leroy. The host said, "Come on, I insist on giving you something. That was Again Leroy said no. Confused, the rich man asked, "Well, Leroy, then what do you want?" Leroy said, "I want the name of the sumbitch who pushed me in the pool.
have you noticed?I've been looking at a lot of photo-blogging from the protests in Washington, DC, and I can't help but notice. The wimmen protesting against the war are a bunch of skanks. I mean, they are really UGLY! Bejus! I think they all suffer from lackaweenie more than they give a shit about the war. I see them and I KNOW I wouldn't fuck them with somebody else's dick. Just go look at them. Pictures are all over the web. You can find a few here. Then--- go look at the pro-troop supporters. Lots of sugar babes in there. What do you think causes that? Ugly wimmen just have bad tempers.
the cone of silenceJust damn! don adams is dead. Maxwell Smart was one of my heroes as a boy. I thought the show was funny as hell. I never knew that he was a Marine in WWII. Adios, Max.
some comments on commentsI enjoy reading my comments. Some of you folks are better writers than I am. Of course, some of you suck the hairy bag, too, but that's okay. We live in an allegedly free country and I want to keep it that way. * SONGWRITERS: I judge a good songwriter on longevity and body of work. Bruce Springstein doesn't qualify by MY standards. Gordon Lightfoot was once one of my favorites, but his work has gone downhill in the last decade or so. Still, he's been writing good songs for a long time. That's why I say James Taylor, Paul Simon and Stephen Stills are in the Top Ten on ANY list. They've been cranking out good work for 30 fucking years. Don't give me no flash in the pans. I think Don McLean wrote two of the best songs I ever heard. "American Pie" and "Starry, Starry Night" were BRILLIANT pieces of music. But he went the way of John Hartford. (John wrote "Gentle on My Mind," which was the most recorded song in the world for a few years.) One or two bursts, then out of ammo. And I will hate Neil Young until the day I die for the song "Southern Man." Fuckfaced Canadian asshole. * CIRCUMCISION: Somebody got something right. If I'm given a choice between washing my dick and brushing my teeth, I'm gonna wash my dick. I LIKE washing my dick. Maybe that's why I've never had a sexually transmitted disease. I believe in keeping my tool clean. * HURRICANES: It's not the federal government's job to protect you from bad weather. You should take care of your own ass. When you DON'T, that's your own damn fault. * STERIODS: WTF is CONGRESS doing holding hearings on steriod use in major league baseball? What the hell is John McCain doing hogging all kinds of camera-time with this pissant issue? Let baseball police itself. Or not. Get the feds out of this shit. They really ought to have better things to do. * cindy sheehan. If anyone ever deserved to be dragged off and shot, it's her. The woman is about as bright as a fifteen-watt bulb and if you see a gleam in her eye, it's the "low battery" light flashing. She is a disgrace to her son, a disgrace to this country and a disgrace to all of our troops. She's also a self-aggrandizing cunt. * ENVIRONMENTALISM: I might have more sympathy for those nut-balls if they really cared about the environment. But they don't. They are mostly anti-civilization and anti-capitalism. Plus, most of the shriekers are totally ignorant and pumped full of junk science. They INVENT the "Scare of the Week" to terrify soccer moms into hyperventilation and the vapors. That bullshit works, too. Congress listens to them, which tells you how intelligent congress is. Al Gore believed it so much that he turned orange in his first Presidential debate. (I think he was looking for green, but his advisors told him that THAT color would make him look too much like a space alien. They didn't tell him not to ACT like a space alien--- because he did--- they just vetoed the green color.) * DIVERSITY: I'm tired of hyphenated-Americans and divisions based on race, creed, ethnicity or religion. I say we divide people (because if we don't, they'll do it by themselves) along different lines. Forget about skin color or religion. Let's class people as "STUPID," "NOT STUPID," "FAIRLY INTELLIGENT," "SMART," and "DOWNRIGHT BRILLIANT." I believe that we'd end up with a reasonable bell-shaped curve that way, and nobody could cry "racism" or "sexism" about it. Naw. Wouldn't work. The stupid people would cry RACISM and SEXISM anyway. That's because they're stupid. See where my mind goes late at night when I can't sleep?
it's happened to me twiceYes, friends, I have been abducted by aliens twice in my life. I most definitely was probed, especially in the wallet, and my recollection of those events make me break out in a cold sweat to this day. The first alien was named Debbie. The second one was named Jennifer. I married both of them and I am at a loss to explain why. I think I was brainwashed, or zapped by some alien ray-gun. Nobody in their right mind would have done what I did. In fact, researchers have found that the abductees believe in their experiences to the point that they exhibit the same stress symptoms other victims of traumatic events display. Trust me. Marrying an alien IS a traumatic stress event.
September 26, 2005horse shit!How can anybody post this list and leave Paul Simon, James Taylor and Stephen Stills out of the top ten? Neil Young? Kurt Cobain? Led Zeppelin? What are these voters smoking? Fuck. Why don't you add Tupac Deadman to the list, too? HIS music will last forever. How about Barry Manilow? Or maybe a REAL talent, such as Bobby Goldsboro? My aching ass.
he'll be backJim survived Hurricane Rita and seems to be managing fairly well. I am delighted to read this post. Hell, shitting in a trench and drinking well water ain't no big deal. I've done that stuff when there WAS no hurricane. I just hope his boat is okay. My advice? Ditch the cats, man. They are evil creatures. Other than that, keep your shit in one sock, watch your ass and take care.
pussyJust read the comments on this post. I've seen the picture before and it surely resembles one pissed-off cat. I think it's funny as hell.
let him take his chancesI read this story and felt sick to my stomach. Sweet Bejus! Here's a kid with a severe handicap who wants to be all he can be, while a bunch of rule-making nannies won't let him do it. That just plain sucks. Of course, the authorities have their reasons: "The officials erred, but they erred on the side of caution," said Bob Goldring, an assistant commissioner with the OHSAA. "They did not want to see him get hurt." Yeah. They "erred on the side of caution." I suppose that compassionate reasoning makes the error less egregious in some people's minds, but that shit doesn't fly with me. The boy should have been allowed to play. That was HIS DECISION, not some nanny's. Quinton wants to play football, but Jennifer doesn't want him to do that. She's afraid that he'll get hurt. Well, I suppose that's "erring on the side of caution," too, because if you play football for a while, the question is NOT whether you will get hurt--- it's a question of when and how bad the injury will be. I personally don't think making my boy a healthy pussy is better than seeing him get his manly ass racked a few times on the football field. Football teaches you to be tough. But that's just me. I am known by the courts to be a violent man, and I have the paperwork to prove it. The boy in that story has the heart of a lion. He should be allowed to roar. (Thanks to Peter Przeradzki for the link.)
September 25, 2005more "science"I am not circumcised. I've never had a sexually transmitted disease in my life. I don't put a whole lot of stock in this story. The Soweto study, was conducted by French researchers between 2002 and 2005 with more than 3,000 healthy, sexually active males between 18 and 24. About half the volunteers were circumcised by medical professionals, and the rest remained uncircumcised. Well... those findings obviously prove SOMETHING, don't they? I'm not certain what it is, but it's got to be important. I do have one question to ask: If all the people in the study underwent counceling on AIDS prevention, why did ANY of them catch the disease? Yep. It's all about circumcision.
dawgs win againMy beloved Georgia Bulldogs beat Mississippi State pretty handily. I don't think the game was in doubt after the start of the second quarter. But I STILL see a lot of things wrong with that team. Shockley is a good quarterback, but he ain't no target passer. He missed several "gimmes" that a good passer would hit. When he's good, he's good. But when he sucks, he's a Hoover. As I've said before--- he's just spastic. More stupid penalties and dumbass mistakes in the Red Zone. In the second half, Georgia drove inside the 10-yard line FOUR TIMES and ended up with nine points. Three field goals. Not one touchdown, and they killed themselves every time. You can't play like that and win against GOOD SEC teams. Georgia has a good team and they'll probably make it to a bowl game this year. But they won't go undefeated amd somebody is gonna jump up and bite them in the ass soon. I'll always root for them, but I ain't gonna bet on 'em.
i didn't pay attentionI didn't bother to watch any of this idiocy today, because I was too busy watching college football. I figured it would be a collection of leftist moonbats, and I was correct. Looking at some of the pictures I've seen on the internet I am reminded of an old joke I heard about the Ku Klux Klan. Bubba was a bed-wetter. When he joined the Klan, they made him wear a rubber sheet. Bubba pissed himself at a meeting one day. The Grand Dragon said, "Goddam it, Bubba! What's wrong with you? You can't even HATE right!" I think the punch line applies to those protesters. They can't even hate right. You can see some good pictures here.
explain it to meI understand a little bit about how coal gasification works. I'm not EXPERT, but I did work in the engergy production field of chemistry for many years. I wonder how many people who voted on this can say the same. What the hell is so frightening about a company wanting to bring jobs and money into a community to produce energy? It's that goddam environmentalist bullshit, which has polluted more streams of thought than any polluter ever did a stream of water. People are fucking CRAZY today. Watch them oppose this, too. It's dangerous. It's "risky." Wimmen will hyperventilate and develop the vapors. People will worry about "the children." Bejus on a bike. I'd really like to know how many of those people opposed to such projects have a fucking clue about how the technology works. My guess is NONE OF THEM, because they wouldn't be acting like Chicken Littles if they did. My license hasn't expired yet, so I remain a Certified Resource Recovery Operator for about another year. That license means that I am authorized by the ASME to burn trash to make steam and create electricity. That idea popped up in a Jimmy Carter brain-fart in the late 1970s. See? We would burn GARBAGE as fuel, make steam and power turbines with the steam. Waste in, energy out. That idea didn't last long. Oil prices went down and environmentalists jumped all over the trash-burners. Waste that once went to a landfill or a garbage dump was reduced to ash, but the ash was "toxic". It had lead (mainly from flashlight batteries and other household stuff YOU throw in the trash every day) and cadmium, which the EPA also called "toxic." If we didn't burn it, that stuff would have gone into a landfill just the same. But once we burned it, the ashes became our "toxic waste," which made operation of the plant almost economically impossible. All of a sudden, it was more expensive to dispose of the ash than it was to burn the trash. I never understood the logic. Trash is not "toxic" (Declaring THAT idea would make everybody with a trash can a potential criminal), but ashes from the same trash IS "toxic" (The EPA fucks with industry instead of citizens that way. They can be heroic crusaders instead of blithering pissants, as long as they leave the general public alone). That's how the EPA works. And we have enough stupid, ignorant, brainwashed sheeple in this country today to oppose good ideas just because they don't understand them. That's why environmentalists always play FEAR as their trump card. It works. Those assholes and the people who listen to them scare me a lot worse than the booger-man. The booger-man ain't real. Environmental nut-balls are.
i forgot I wrote thisSome people take this blog-stuff entirely too seriously. I've known several individuals who just upped and quit after people wrote nasty comments and hateful emails to them about things that they wrote. The poor babies took their bat and ball and went home to pout. I want to thank erica for exploring my archives and reminding me of something far in the past. (Septemeber 7, 2002)
September 24, 2005wouldn't you know itHere's my Quote of the Day, just to show you how insipid some people can be. Hurricane Rita made landfall and fucked up a lot of people. New Orleans is flooded again. 24 nursing home residents died in a bus fire. But the REAL tragedy may be yet to come. See... we have oil refineries in that area. The facilities represent a quarter of the nation's oil refining capacity and business analysts said damage from Rita could send gas prices as high as $4 an hour. Environmentalists warned of the risk of a toxic spill. My aching, bleeding ass. "Environmentalists warned of the risk of a toxic spill." I personally think that ten feet of water in my home is pretty goddam "toxic" all by itself. And if in the aftermath of a big hurricane, all you have to fret about is the "risk" of a toxic spill, your dumb ass needs to be dragged off and shot. That's environmentalists for you. You don't see THEM repairing the levees (Gaia might disapprove). You don't see THEM donating food and water to victims of disaster (that's just Gaia's way) and you damn sure don't see them supporting more refineries in this country so that one storm couldn't kick us in the balls like this (oil is toxic). I am sick and tired of being sick and tired of such people.
gag meJust go read this. When you give people something for nothing, they never appreciate any of it. You want to know who are the REAL SLAVES of today? Anybody who works. You're a slave to the federal government. This just ain't right.
vigilantesWhen government can't protect you, you'd better to be ready to do it yourself. Texas ain't a good place to try that running wild, savage, looting shit. Texans own guns and will SHOOT your ass over that crap. Personally, I think this is an excellent opportunity to cleanse the gene-pool and I hope every feral bastard (or bitch-- I'm all for diversity here) who is caught looting is shot dead. I've got no use for them, and neither does this country.
It's done!Willy came by today and helped me figure out how to hook up all my recording equipment. (THANK YOU, Willy!) He also brought me a power-strip and a bunch of blank CDs. I think the damn thing is put together right. We did that shit in my living room, because I have everything mounted on a castor-wheeled stereo-table that once held Quinton's Playstation and his VCR-TV. I gave all that crap back to him months ago, so I claim the table as mine now. All I have to do is wheel that thing into the music room and plug it in. I SHOULD have a very nice home studio. At least I hope so. This has been a lot more work than I planned. But I think it's a job well done now.
September 23, 2005good for themThis sounds like a pretty good couple to me. Bless 'em. I also like their idea of retiring immediately. Fuck working when you're rich. But pay attention to THIS part of the story, too: Since Helen, who bought the ticket, chose the cash option, they will get $156.1 million, lottery officials said. The federal tax bite will amount to about a quarter of that. Naw... we aren't overtaxed in this country. God asks for only 10%. You may tithe to God, but you'll goddam well PAY the federal government, at much higher rates. Both promise to deliver you unto heaven. I don't believe either one, but God is less expensive.
federal governmentYou've got to love it. Nobody else in the world takes a job more seriously and works as hard as a federal employee. All 110 people who laid out in a time of crisis had a legitimate reason for doing so. They knew they wouldn't be fired for fucking the people they are supposed to serve. Federal government: NOT the best that we can do.
eggs in one basketI blame environmentalists, ignorant sheeple and NIMBYs for this crap. We are a wise people. We want gasoline, but we don't want it refined here. We want to drive, but we don't want to be dependent on foreign oil. We don't want to be dependent on foreign oil, but we won't drill ANWR. We want clean air and clean water, but we still require air conditioning and automatic dishwashers. Assholes. Nothing in this world is free, and if you think the "environment" is any different, you're out of your mind. Fifty years of thinking that gasoline grows on trees and a spotted owl is more important than civilization brought us to where we are today. Don't blame it on a hurricane.
Quote of the dayI've spent a lot of my life around the water in southeast Georgia. I learned to swim at an early age and water never frightened me. Hell, I was a certified lifeguard for a while. But I've seen the ocean get angry, and that ain't a pretty sight when you can't see land. It can be an invigorating experience, to say the least. The sea is an extremely Darwinian environment for human beings. People who are harmless screw-ups on land cause tragedies when they go out on the water. It's funny, because boating is so enjoyable, you don't feel like you're in danger all the time. But you are. Read the entire post.
total bullshitJennifer and I tried for about six months to make a baby. We weren't successful until she baked some cookies one weekend. We ate the cookies and she became pregnant. Obviously, baking cookies causes pregnancy. That's what passes for science today. Sir John Lawton, chairman of the Royal Commission on Environmental Pollution believes that shit. Super-powerful hurricanes now hitting the United States are the "smoking gun" of global warming, one of Britain's leading scientists believes. What a crock. First of all, Hurricane Katrena DID NOT "wreck" New Orleans. The collapse of a levee caused the flooding and that could have been prevented if local politicians weren't busy lining their own pockets and buying votes instead of reparing their infrastructure. Second, how much of a rise in water temperature are we talking about here? Just go explore this page and make up your own mind. Facts are facts and bullshit is bullshit. Too many people can't tell the difference anymore.
good pointI've called North Carolina a "hurricane magnet" for years. I've watched too many hurricanes predicted to hit Savannah that just kept drifting north to slam NC to believe any differently. The past couple of years has turned Florida and the Gulf Coast into target areas. I feel sorry for those people, but I resort to my virtue of selfishness: better THEM than ME. I believe that Savannah is positioned in a fortunate place. We have the "Georgia Bite" to protect us. Just look carefully at a map of the southeast United States. It looks a lot like a sandwich that somebody took one bite off of. Savannah is right in the middle of that bite-mark. The Gulf Steam is 50 miles offshore here. The Gulf Stream is a strong current of warm water that affects the paths of hurricanes. It tends to steer storms north of where I live. The Georgia Bite also makes a clear line in the water, and you'd know that fact if you ever rode a boat from here to Key West (I did). Somewhere off the coast of Florida, about 20 miles out, you can see the line in the water where the sea changes from green and skanky to clear, blueberry-popsicle beauty. I am NOT making this shit up. The Georgia Bite protects Savannah from hurricanes. I've lived here for more than 40 years and I've seen seen TWO hurricanes in that period of time, and both were CAT 1 when they hit. We dodged Hugo and Floyd. The Georgia Bite did that. Read this theory about hurricanes. It throws some more meat into the stew. Sam is correct about what he says. We have NOT experienced the usual hurricanes blowing off of Cape Verde this year. Ours have been home-grown, right near where we live. Any rhyme or reason to that? Damn if I know. Mother Nature works in mysterious ways. But she's not always cruel. She gave me the Georgia Bite.
it's trueI noticed a long time ago that the "Party of Compassion" was filled with some of the most hateful people in the United States. Seriously--- some of what those asshats have to say would embarrass the Ku Klux Klan. I sometimes don my Haz-Mat moon-suit and visit leftist blogs. I emerge covered with spittle, venom and pure, unadulterated HATE. And these are the people who keep saying that Bush is Hitler. They CARE and Bush doesn't. Most of 'em need a goddam brain implant. Just go read this post. It's right on the money.
i think it's readyI'm afraid to plug it in for fear that it may blow up in my face. Using four different owner's manuals and about a half-mile of cords and wires, I have all of the components of my recording studio set up and put together. All I need now is a power strip so I can energize the whole thing. I have an idiot question: I've admitted before that I am a computer maroon, and I like things to be simple. Why can't electronics manufacturers come up with a COMMON LANGUAGE for all the buttons and inputs on their equipment? My CD recorder tells me to plug cords into the "IN" and "OUT" ports on my receiver. My receiver doesn't have those ports. It has "PLAY" and "RECORD," which I assume is the in-and-out I'm looking for. I hope to hell so, because that's where I plugged the wires. Now, to hook it all up to the Tascam, I've got to take a set of dual cables from the "OUTPUT" on the recorder to the "LINE IN" on the receiver. The only problem with that is--- there IS NO "LINE IN" ON THE AMP. At least it's not marked as such. I think I know where the cables go, but I'm not certain. I'm gonna ask Willy to come over and check what I've done before I blow the entire rig to smoking pieces when I plug it in. If it doesn't blow up by itself, I may drag the sumbitch off and shoot it if it doesn't work. BEJUS! I thought this was gonna be simple. It ain't.
September 22, 2005a total abominationI don't know how else to describe this. Any judge who awards $100,000 to a convicted multiple-murderer in a jailhouse lawsuit needs to be dragged off and shot. Daniel LaPlante is a convicted triple murderer and not just any triple murderer, either. He broke into a neighbor's house in rural Townsend in 1987, raped and executed the pregnant mother who lived there, then drowned her 7-year-old daughter and 5-year-old son in separate bathtubs. He smirked at the jury that convicted him. But when he was in jail, he said somebody stopped him from receiving porographic mail and stole his shower shoes. HIS "civil right" were violated. He sued. Palmer & Dodge won the suit, and, lo and behold, its pro bono work wasn't free any more. Federal law allows a firm to submit a bill when it wins a civil rights case, and it did: $125,000 in all. Judge Gertner ordered the state to pay $99,981 of it. If this shit is justice, then I'm a got-dam brain surgeon. Of course, if that cold-blooded bastard committed such a crime in Georgia, instead of compassionate Peoples Republic of Massachussettes, the suit never would have happened. We fry such assholes down South, and they don't sue from the grave. Can you imagine being related to that family, or just being good friends, and watching that scum-sucking piece of pure filth's lawyers collect $100,000 of YOUR money? Got dam! Drag them ALL off and shoot them.
i wish it were soPersonally, I think this is a great idea.
quote of the day
"Look at that thing. It looks like Satan's sphincter."
a flashbackI must have been nine years old when I got a model rocket for Christmas one year. I believe that the thing fired on a mixture of baking soda and vinegar for fuel (it's been so long ago that I don't remember). It would shoot off into the sky so high that you could barely see it, and then deploy a parachute on the way down. It was a glorious toy. I enjoyed this post because Dax is exactly right. My daddy liked playing with that rocket as much as I did. It was a wonderful father-son activity. I finally launched it on a windy day and the parachute got tangled in some power lines on the way down. I never got my rocket back from that ill-fated flight. That was the end of my space exploration until I started making potato guns. Just damn! Reading that post brought back a lot of very fond memories.
it's a-comingIf I lived anywhere along the gulf coast of Texas, I'd get the hell out of there. Hurricane Rita may be one bitch of a storm. It's ironic that many refugees from Katrina are now in Houston, with that city staring right down the gun barrel for this one. I think Houston will be okay. They'll get whipped by rain and wind, but 60 miles inland takes a lot out of a hurricane. It's usually NOT the wind that kills people. Floods do that. Just get your ass off the coast. Besides, Texas seems to have its shit in one sock, unlike Louisiana. Government officials eager to show they had learned their lessons from the sluggish response to Katrina sent in hundreds of buses to evacuate the poor, moved out hospital and nursing home patients, dispatched truckloads of water, ice and ready-made meals, and put rescue and medical teams on standby. An Army general in Texas was told to be ready to assume control of a military task force in Rita's wake. I hope this isn't as bad as I imagine it could be. Some people have emailed me to ask about my daughter, and I say don't worry about her. She lives in Fort Worth. She'll be okay there. I have a lot of friends in Texas. I wish them all the best of luck. But always remember--- you often make your own luck by using your head.
September 21, 2005bad use of lawWhen the RICO act was passed in 1970, I didn't like the broad powers it granted government. I wondered how long it would take for government and smart lawyers to start abusing that power. It didn't take long. In the 1980's, however, civil lawyers noticed section 1964(c) of the RICO Act, which allows civil claims to be brought by any person injured in their business or property by reason of a RICO violation. Any person who succeeded in establishing a civil RICO claim would automatically receive judgment in the amount of three times their actual damages and would be awarded their costs and attorneys' fees. The financial windfall available under RICO inspired the creativity of lawyers across the nation, and by the late 1980's, RICO was a (if not the most) commonly asserted claim in federal court. Everyone was trying to depict civil claims, such as common law fraud, product defect, and breach of contract as criminal wrongdoing, which would in turn enable the filing of a civil RICO action. Ask me again why I don't like the Homeland Security Act. That's a long-winded lead-in to this post. This is where law becomes ridiculous to me. I totally agree with what the authorities are doing, but using the RICO Act as justification? Surely, they could have done better than that. Well, you work with the tools you have. And if we don't find some way to tighten our borders, we're headed for dire straits.
What about the starving people in ... wherever?This guy really needs to be dragged off and shot. What a swine. Here we are with Katrina victims strung out from here to yonder, children starving SOMEWHERE in the world, and the man is stuffing himself like a Roman emperor. 2nd Course Wood Oven Roasted Organic Chicken with Bread Salad and Spicy Greens See? That's downright DECADENT!!! He's probably got half-nekkid dancing girls twirling around him while he dines, laid back in a silk-covered recliner filled with the softest of goose-down to soothe his body while he drinks wine and devours sumptious meals. He feels not ONE TWINGE OF GUILT, either. Isn't that just.... just... SICK???? I wouldn't feel guilty, either, but that's just ME. Denny is supposed to be better than I am. He's sensitive; I'm not. I think a sensitive person should feel guilty about I don't know how you NOT going to the wine tasting would help anybody who is suffering, but I think it's more compassion than practicality we're looking for here. My mama always told me to clean my plate at supper because children were starving in China. I must have saved thousands of lives, because I did what I was told. I cleaned my plate and made life better for children in China. Denny, you should have abstained and nursed a good, liberal guilt-trip at home. Turn off all the lights, and curl into a fetal position in a closet. That's what I do when I experience a liberal guilt-trip. But since you DID go, I hope you cleaned your plate.
quote of the dayI heard the "Porkbuster" blog site mentioned several times today on the Michael Reagan radio show. I was impressed. I think it would be a fantastic thing for America if the Times went out of business and Pinch Sulzberger ended up with a job fitting his talents and achievements. It would be a nice wake-up call to other far-left nuts masquerading as journalists if Sulzberger were interviewed at his new job at Kinko's. They need to realize that now that they can no longer hide the truth from the bulk of the public, it's foolish to go on printing tendentious nonsense people immediately recognize as propaganda. Fox and the Internet work around the clock to make people aware of the facts as they are, not as Pinch Sulzberger wishes them to be. When people open the Times and read biased "journalism" telling them things they already know are not true, it has to have a negative effect on circulation.
Blogging started out with a bunch of people blathering on the internet and most of the readers were people who blathered on the internet themselves. But that status changed over the past couple of years. I believe that bloggers have a BIG impact on politics, reporting and even elections today. Blogs will become even more influential in the future. I don't write to shine a light on the roaches crawling all over the kitchen floor. But other bloggers do, and they're beginning to scare the hell out of the roaches. Just ask Trent Lott, Dan Rather and the New York Times, to name a few. Lying politicians, dishonest media and loudmouthed assholes simply can't get away with the same stuff they've done for decades. Too many people are willing to fact-check their asses. I receive about 3,000 visitors per day on my humble site. Many of those 3,000 are connected to other blogs, which ALSO have 3,000 readers and are connected to still more blogs with 3,000 readers. It's a true network, and word travels fast around here. I believe that blogging snuck up and ambushed the entrenched roaches in this country and surprised the shit out of them with the effectiveness of the ambush. It was enough to make Dan Rather cry. I learned in Journalism School that the press was supposed to be the "Fourth Estate," the Watchdog of Government. But nobody was watching the watchdogs, and they ran out of control. They became advocates instead of reporters. The "news" became what they WANTED you to think instead of the truth. Bloggers are slowly, but surely, putting a leash on the watchdogs. And I'll bet some congress-critters are feeling the heat about pork-busting, too. These people don't want a bright light shined on them. Bloggers are doing that. Usually, what you see under the light isn't pretty. But you couldn't see it at all until the past few years. I say SHINE ON!
this guy is no sheepleJust start at the top and scroll down. I think Jim is making all the right moves and I hope he doesn't lose his sloop to Hurricane Rita. But he's got his priorities in order. He'd rather lose the boat than lose his life. Besides--- I heard his blog was mentioned on CNN today. He now MUST survive so that he can reap all the adulation and worship headed his way. Good luck, Jim!
another reason to ban suvsWe greedy, oil-consuming humans are not only destroying OUR planet by driving SUVs and burning fossil fuels-- oh, no... it's MUCH worse than that. We're causing global warming on mars now. BWHAHAHAHAAA!!! How will the environmentalists blame THIS ONE on CO2? (If the link doesn't work, just try it again in a few minutes. It got 'lanched today and may be having trouble handling the traffic.)
is it accurate?I hope like hell that this survey is right on the money. I always hoped that radical environmentalists would damage their own cause with all the fear-mongering and dire threats that never panned out. You can convince a lot of people to eat bullshit, but you've got to vary the diet every now and then to keep your sheeple interested. The "WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!" mantra grew stale long ago. But big-time environmental groups and rabid, foaming moonbats such as Al Gore keep shovelling the same crap. People are just not eating it the way they once did. Face facts. If you're gonna shovel bullshit, provide some FRESH bullshit for a change.
new findI like ANYBODY who desribes himself as "Part-time blacksmith, gunsmith, guitar player and shadetree mechanic. Who has lots of books and not enough shelves." I liked this post.
it all arrived today!Everything I ordered to complete my recording studio arrived in one shipment from UPS at 5:00 PM today. (I must have been one of his last stops--- that's what happens when you live in the hinterlands.) I managed to tug all the stuff out of the boxes and haul it to the music room, but by the time I finished doing that, I was browning out and running short of breath again. I had to lie down and rest. I have NO strength or stamina anymore. I'll hook it all up tomorrow. From what I see, I bought more power than I need. Looking at that big-ass, 150 watts per channel receiver and the knob-encrusted dual CD recorder, (BOTH with remote controls) I wish I had shopped up a little on the speakers I bought. They are fine speakers, but they look kinda puny set up with that other stuff. Maybe I should have shopped DOWN on the receiver and the CD recorder. Maybe I'll get to test-drive it later today. Hell, it looks like everything I need for me.
it's a startI think the blithering idiot needs to be dragged off and shot, but I'll settle for a little jostling right now. Maybe it'll shake some sense into her moonbat head. Naw... forget that idea. She's a celebrity now, and she enjoys the spotlight. Bejus save us from fervent fools.
September 20, 2005i call bullshit!WTF is the federal government thinking with crap like this? Why don't these blue-nosed, Puritan, meddling, overly-sensitive morality police just BAN FUCKING???? That'll work. Just pass a federal law banning ALL sexual intercourse. People will stop fucking right away and nannies can sleep well at night. My ass. We are allegedly engaged in a War on Terror. The damn thing must already be won if we can waste money and manpower chasing pornography and "obscenity," whatever that is. Bejus. Bullshit such as this is why I do not trust my government and why I resent like hell paying as much in taxes as I do. I cannot recall reading ANY news story where terrorists held a gun to someone's head and FORCED them to watch a fuck flick or look at a "Hustler" magazine. If you don't want your kids seeing that stuff, then YOU mind your children. Don't ask (or EXPECT) the federal government to do that job for you. What's wrong with watching consenting adults perform sexual acrobatics on video? You don't have to watch it if you don't want to. I kinda like to watch it from time to time. Does that fact make me a menace to society? I don't think so. Besides--- this is an attack on the First Amendment to the United States Constitution, and it's being led by... guess who? The government. Surprise.
his pal alAt least one person didn't like what I wrote about Al Gore a few posts below. Well it makes sense that those that are cartoon experts should support this childish freak in the White House regardless of the pathetic condition of the world in which we now live as a result of his reckless actions. It is truly heartbreaking to think how much better off we would all be today if Bush hadn't stolen the 2000 election debacle from Al Gore. I guess the fact that a huge majority of Americans now disapprove of this loser still does not resonate with the shallowest of his ignorant followers. I'll let that quote speak for itself. It's just another maroon.
excusesI haven't been posting much lately because I have been very sick. When you hurt all over and need to carry a puke-bucket everywhere you go, it kinda saps the creative juices. I THINK I'm feeling better now, but I'm not sure. I almost passed out in the checkout line of Kroger's today. I went to the store early this morning (that's easy to do when you can't sleep at night) and I put some essentials in my cart. I got to the checkout counter (I was damn near the only person in the store who wasn't an employee) and I had another brown-out while just standing there. I kinda slumped over the grocery cart and turned gray. I broke out in a sweat. I couldn't see. If I had NOT had the grocery cart to hang onto, I would have hit the floor. I think I scared the shit out of the cashier. "Sir! Are you all right?" I could have given her an epistle in response to THAT question, but I was more concerned with staying upright at the time. I tingled all over. I was VERY dizzy. My legs were wobbling. "I'm fine. Just give me a minute or so," I replied. "Ring up the groceries and tell me how much I owe you." By the time she finished doing that, I could see again and I wasn't so dizzy anymore. My legs were still wobbling, but I didn't think I was about to pitch head-first onto the floor anymore. I paid for my groceries and wheeled the cart out to my car in the parking lot and unloaded the groceries into the trunk. I was so out of breath by then that I couldn't move for a while. I managed to crawl into the car, but I had to sit there huffing and puffing for a while before my vision seemed clear enough to drive. The same thing happened again when I arrived back home. As I was hauling the groceries inside, another brownout hit me and I found myself sitting on my ass in my yard with a plastic bag full of bread and bologna in my hand. I did not remember sitting down. This shit is starting to worry me.
quote of the dayI despise nanny government. The truth is, in my many years of dealing with government, I haven't discovered the best and the brightest we have to offer among those employees. Most of them are rude, dumbass drones. But THEY still want to run your life. We can't ban everything that isn't a good idea. The mere suggestion says: We, as a people, have no friggin discipline, we are unable to raise children with discipline, and therefore, all bad things should be banned. Government tries to treat ALL OF US as children because of a few people who can't handle their own lives. I don't need a goddam bureaurcrat telling ME how to live MY life. I've done fairly well without their "help" and I'd like to keep it that way. Plus, banning certain behavior doesn't stop it--- it just makes it illegal. People will be people and do it anyway. Then, we clog up more prison cells with people who don't really belong there (if I were in charge, only murderers, rapists, thieves and hoodlums would go to jail. I NEVER would have locked up Martha Stewart.) I once really believed that this country was founded on the concept of individual freedom and the rights of "life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness." I was deluded. The mantra from government now seems to be "live your life the way WE tell you to, accept the liberty we grant you and we'll provide all the happiness we decide you need." If you don't believe we've reached that point, just look around.
existential thinkingHow many times in your life have you made a decision that didn't seem important at the time, only to look back years later and realize that the choice you made THEN affected everything you are NOW? That's a scary thing about life. You make those decisions every day and don't even know you're doing it. In 1968, I went to a high school football game to watch the team we were going to play the next weekend. After the game, I was invited to go for a ride in a brand new Pontiac GTO with some friends from the football team. I turned the offer down because I had made a date with a girl I talked to in the stands that night. She and I went to Shoney's, ate some hot fudge cake, and then went necking. Those boys wrecked that GTO on "Dead Man's Curve" on LaRoache Avenue and ended up with one dead and three severely injured, and the car appearing to be passed through a trash compactor. I would have been in that car if I had said "yes" instead of "no" that night. You never know when those choices matter, and sometimes you don't even realize that you make them. Every day, you come to crossroads in your life and you have to pick which road to take. You have no idea where that road leads, but you've got to go somewhere. Shortly before Jennifer dropped the divorce bomb on my head, we were sitting on the back deck at the mini-farm and I expounded on this subject. I told her that, looking back on my life, I needed to be dragged off and shot for making some poor choices at MY crossroads. I missed some really good opportunities and I took some fucked up roads. But in the end, it all worked out, because I wouldn't be with her now if I had done anything differently. I meant what I said at the time. I loved my beautiful wife, I owned a big house, I had lots of land, I fathered a fine son and I was happy. As things turned out, marrying Jennifer was probably the WORST mistake I ever made, but I sure didn't see it at the time. You never do, or you wouldn't make that decision. Crossroads are tricky that way.
September 19, 2005i think i finally got rid of themRemember the post a wrote a few days ago about all the bugs that flew into my house when I was taking my garbage out? Well, I wrote it and I didn't lie. I took care of the flies and the wasp pretty quickly, but those goddam aphids set up camp in the Crackerbox. I described them as non-biting "gnats" in that earlier post, but I figured out what they were later. They were some kind of shitass fruit-fly. The ones I didn't kill right off the bat set up some kind of orgy-room in a bag of Vidalea onions I had on my kitchen table. I reached into the bag to get an onion a few days ago and a SWARM of those fuckers came boiling out of there. I gassed a bunch of them, but I didn't get them all. The survivors spent the last five days making my life miserable. They must be attracted to C02, because their sole ambition in life seems to be flying up my nose when I'm asleep. They must like the aroma of ear-wax, too, because the little fuckers LOVE to buzz around an ear. Those damn things nearly drove me crazy. They seldom land, so you can't slap 'em, and they're fast as greased lightning, so you can't chase them down with a fly swatter. They are in your nose one minute and gone the next. I finally started baiting the damned things with cantelope and leftover food. They'd FLOCK to land on the stuff, and I'd gas the shit out of them. I'll bet you I killed 500 in the past couple of days. I have a few strays still wadering around, but the epidemic is over. I'll get those last survivors shortly. Aggravating bastards. I'd still like to know what they are.
quote of the day"But liberals have recently taken to pretending judicial activism is — as The New York Times has said repeatedly — voting "to invalidate laws passed by Congress." Invalidating laws has absolutely nothing to do with "judicial activism." It depends on whether the law is unconstitutional or not. That's really the key point. To me, the United States Constitution is a well-written, clearly-worded document. I don't see "penumbras" or "eminations" coming from it. Judges who do are self-appointed High Priests who want to re-write law to suit themselves. THAT'S judicial activism. It's some pissant in a black robe who woke up one morning and decided that he (or she) was smarter than Thomas Jefferson. That's hubris at its worst. Of course, I shouldn't mind. We fed the Constitution into the shredder during the Lincoln presidency and FDR and Lyndon Johnson wiped their asses on it, too. Nowdays, the Constitution is treated as a quaint relic, written by naive people who had no concept about what modern society would become. I disagree. I believe that the Constitution was written with the FULL UNDERSTANDING of how people behave and what government will do if given the chance. History does NOT prove me wrong.
a complete maroonBejus! The man is out of his mind. It's frightening to think about how close this nut-ball came to being President of the United States. He reminds me of some kind of demented Aztec Priest who believes that sacrificing virgins on an altar is the way to appease the Storm Gods. Al Gore is a total whack-job.
I've wondered the same thingAll of my life, I've heard people referring to certain animals in a certain way that I didn't understand. I learned to speak the same way, but I'll admit that I don't have a clue what I'm talking about. How about "F*cked up like Hogan's Goat"? I've heard this since I was an apprentice boy and have always wondered, Who is Hogan and what happened to the goat? That's like another one of my favorites: "It ran like Moody's Goose." Who was Moody? What was so special about HIS goose? Anybody got any ideas?
a matter of survivalWhen the looters were running wild in New Orleans, I heard serveral members of the Congressional Black Caucus say that people were doing that crap "in order to survive." Yeah, right. Here's how some people view survival. The guardsmen recently thought they had caught a looter coming back into town to load his stash onto a moving truck. Inside his home, the soldiers found automobile parts stacked 8 feet high, a new off-road motorcycle and various electronics, including a video game system with a pawn shop ticket still attached. Yeah, right again. The guy had NO IDEA how all of that stuff ended up in his house. I notice that food and bottled water weren't part of the loot. In other homes, McGowan's unit found automatic teller machines that had been broken open and emptied of cash and bags of ammunition still packaged in 500-round bundles, not the individual boxes of 20 rounds usually sold over the counter. All of the "goods," of course, were survival suppiles. I can understand looting food, water or ammo in that situation (although I always keep plenty of all three on hand), but the rest of this crap was pure-out LOOTING, and the cops need to find and prosecute every swinging dick they can convict for behaving like a savage. We cannot condone or excuse such reprehensible behavior. If we do, we encourage more of the same.
if you pay taxes in Georgia...I suggest you go here, click on "Georgia" and examine what the Highway Bill is going to do for YOU! Also observe the price tag on these items. Then, ask yourself this question: "Do we really NEED that?" if your answer is "yes," then ask yourself another question: "If we really NEED IT, why don't we pay for it ourselves?" Plus, when did the federal government, which is supposed to build and maintain US HIGHWAYS, get into the business of constructing bike trails and creating "greenscapes" nowhere near a US Highway? It's pork, and that's where a LOT of your tax money goes. Read about this idea. I think it's a good one.
September 18, 2005i watched football todayI saw some really good games on television and I listened to the Dawgs on the radio. I LOVE football. But as much as bleed Red And Black, I don't believe that my beloved Bulldogs are really good this year. They're 3-0 so far, but they haven't played a good team yet. I STILL think that Shockley is a spastic and the team will beat itself eventually through stupid mistakes. Shockley is a great athlete and he can make something from nothing on a broken play, but he throws a lot of passes that he shouldn't throw---or else he throws them badly. I will NEVER understand the number of dumbass penalties that team gets, especially in the wrong place at the wrong time. A good team doesn't fuck up in the Red Zone. Georgia does. You cannot play the way Georgia has been doing and expect to beat the Tall Dogs in the SEC. I can name three teams right now that will whip Dawg ass if Georgia keeps playing the way the team plays now. Tennesse, Auburn and Florida will hand them their butts on a plate if they don't straighten up and learn some discipline. I see a LOT of things wrong with that team.
i said i wanted a hobbyThis may not be a bad one. Just think about it. Tying and binding little, cute kittems to make sure that they grew up minature and deformed. Bonsai Kittens. Yeah... I could do that.
like something out of a stephen king novelIs this kinda weird, or what? If I were horribly disfigured in an accident, I might opt for ANYTHING that kept me from being hideous for the rest of my life. But if this technique works, how long will it be before people start using it to restore their appearance of youth or simply make themselves more attractive? I dunno. I can't argue that anybody with the money shouldn't be allowed to buy a new face, but I become grossed out by the idea. If you LOSE your face, that's one thing. But if you simply grow tired of the way you look, that's something else. What's next? People who are going to die shortly start auctioning off their faces on e-Bay?
September 17, 2005bejus weptYeah, I'm a cynic. Another "Southernism" I left off my post below is this one: "Don't piss down my back and tell me it's raining." Just go read this. And remember that government doesn't pay for ANY of that crap. YOU do. We cannot keep doing business this way and remain a prosperous country.
quote of the dayYou have reality, where bad things happen no matter how hard good people work to stop it, and then you have POLITICS, where you don't find many good people at all. Incompetent crooks calling other incompetent crooks "incompetent crooks" is beginning to piss me off. In the aftermath of Katrina, fingers are flying. Strangely, the vast majority of them are liberal fingers and they're pointing at Bush. Why? Because the best defense is a great offense, of course. Any fool knows that. Anyone rational enough to look at the facts, though, will reach the obvious conclusion: the democrat's stranglehold on the New Orleans political system for the past 100 years fucked the very people they rely on for votes. Wanna know the sad part? The idiots fucked by their government will elect the same incompetent crooks in the next election. They've been programmed that way. These cretins remind me of the entertaining show I always got by sitting next to my chicken coop on the mini-farm. A hen, minding her own business and pecking shit, suddenly gets pounced on by one of my roosters. He plows her into the ground, fucks the hell out of her for about five seconds, then crows when he's finished. The hen stands up, looks stunned for a minute, as if thinking "WTF was THAT?" then goes right back to pecking shit again. If that's not the mentality of a Democrat voter, I don't know what is. Fucked regularly, but you never remember it when it's over. (Quote stolen from here.)
look at the bright sideNot everything about Hurricane Katrina was a disaster. No, some people intend to cash in on it. What else do you expect from lawyers? "Attorneys are going to come out of this pretty well," Goyeneche said. "There will be plenty of work for the lawyers." The looters stealing televisions and boom-boxes were just petty-ass criminals. The REAL thieves are moving in now.
i'll believe it when I see itIf George Bush cuts any spending to pay for Hurricaine Katrina relief, it'll be the first time in his Presidency that he ever said NO to throwing away taxpayer dollars. He has really chapped my Cracker ass with his inability to control federal spending. Besides--- where are all the charitable donations going? I sent the Salvation Army $100, and the last numbers I read said that INDIVIDUALS had contributed close to ONE BILLION DOLLARS for hurricane relief. The money is still pouring in. Why is rebuilding New Orleans the job of the federal government only? Why should US taxpayers foot the entire bill? If the feds take on that job, more than half of the money will be pissed away and reconstruction will take forever. Of course, if the LOCAL government of Louisiana was worth a damn, they wouldn't be in this shape to begin with, so I ain't gonna suggest that we give the money to THEM to spend. Corrupt politicians will run off with most of the money and New Orleans will still smell like dead fish on the day I die. I suggest giving it to Haliburton--- a private company that has the wherewithall to do the job. Yeah--- I know Haliburton is EVIL. Government isn't?
spider biteI wrote recently about what nasty sumbitches brown recluse spiders are. I suppose this parent found me from a search on the subject and she sent me this email. My son was just bit by a brown or desert recluse. We have two of them in a jar for identification (looks just like brown recluse) He has been in hosp for 3 days, has had debridement and on heavy antibiotics. The Dr. who is originally from TX, identified the bite/necrosis. My son thought he got glass in his hand. He may lose his finger. Lots of tissue is gone and it split open from tip to end and has big gaping hole in center. I am supposed to put iodine strips and sterile gause every day. Irrigate with Saline. That's all! I have a brown recluse kit with the activated charcoal and a liquid to use, only problem is that no MD seems to know about it. I don't want to make it worse. I'm not going to give out her email address, but if you have any advice, either leave it in my comments or email it to me and I'll forward it to her. A brown reculse bite can be VERY serious.
September 16, 2005sheepleRemember when all the loud-mouths were blaming the tsnuami deaths on the lack of an early warning system? I wrote back then about what I thought of the finger-pointers and "experts" after the fact. Now, we've had something similar happen here. We DID have early warnings. People didn't heed them. The survey also provides disquieting clues as to why so many residents remained in New Orleans to face Hurricane Katrina despite orders to evacuate. A third of those who stayed said they never heard the mandatory order to evacuate issued by the mayor the day before the storm hit. Somewhat fewer -- 28 percent -- said they heard the order but did not understand what they were to do. Thirty-six percent acknowledged they heard the order, understood it but did not leave. In hindsight, 56 percent said they could have evacuated, while 42 percent said it was impossible. There you go. 28% of the people didn't even UNDERSTAND the order (although I find the idea of NOT understanding "GET OUT" difficult to swallow). I am certain that Houston will enjoy having these fine citizens in their town forever. The poll suggests that the story of these evacuees is not merely about how little they were left with -- it is also about how fragile their lives were even before the storm hit. Together, the findings suggest the long-term challenges posed by the evacuees to local and state governments already cutting back services to their neediest citizens. Texas must have a pretty good welfare system. You Texicans opened your hearts to these people. Now--- get ready to open your wallet.
languageHere are a few of my favorite "Southernisms." *Happy as a dead pig in sunshine. *Hard as Chinese arithmetic. *Ran like Moody's Goose. *Dumb as a can of dirt. *Mixed up as a frog in a blender. *Lazy as a cut dog. *Tighter than Dick's hatband, which I always thought might be a reference to circumcision. *Happy as a dog with two dicks. *The best part of him dripped down his mama's leg. *Ran like a rat with its ass on fire. *I'd like to buy him for what he's worth and then sell him for what he THINKS he's worth. I could retire tomorrow. *He's too lazy to wipe his own ass. He just waits for it to dry up and flake off by itself. *Fish, or cut bait. *If wishes were horses, beggars could ride. *Shit, or get off the pot. *Hold my beer and watch THIS! (Sometimes--- famous last words.) I really like living in the South.
whadda ya know?Heh. Looks like cats may be good for something after all. I can't think of a better use for them.
September 15, 2005aha! It's coming!I finally received an email today from Circuit City to notify me that all the equipment I ordered has been shipped. If it doesn't arrive tomorrow, however, I won't get it until next week. No big deal. I can wait until it arrives. Besides, I've been too sickly for the past couple of days to record music anyway. People, I've been a planner and supervisor in a big-time chemical plant, I've been own my own since the age of 19 and I'm damn surely not as dumb as I look in that picture on my sidebar. My recording studio is going to be a FIRST CLASS operation. Now... how the hell do you create those music files? You know... the MPC3 or whatever the hell it is called? I wouldn't mind throwing some music out there for free. Everything else here is free ice cream--- I want to share some of my songs the same way. But if you LIKE what I do, I expect you to BUY a CD. I think that's only fair.
i need a hobbyEven though I seldom drink beer anymore, I'm thinking about cranking up my home-brewing apparatus again. I made some damn good beer years ago and I know I haven't forgotten the knack. Most brewers fart around with clearly defined styles. They'll try to make their own versions of German lagers and Irish dry stouts and so on. I do that sometimes, but I also like to yank bizarre original recipes out of my rear end, and that's how this ale was created. I tried a bottle of Flying Dog's Snake Dog Ale, and I decided I wanted to do something sort of similar, only fruitier, and I threw together ingredients that seemed likely to get me where I wanted to be. Thanks to steve h. for describing something that makes home-brewing a lot of fun. It's no crime to play around with your beer and create your own recipes. I experimented with a lot of different hops (those put the "bitter" in your beer) until I discovered what worked best to produce the taste I wanted in a certain batch. I liked to add lemon peels to wheat beer. That gave the finished product a real summertime taste. I put nuts, fruit and berries into some of the darker beers I made. That taste follows through in the beer, especially if you use pecans and plums. I made some of the best beer I ever tasted right on my kitchen stove. I think I'm going to start doing it again. I've got all the equipment... and if I don't like the way it looks or smells when I'm ready to bottle it, I'll just cook it down into moonshine. I've also got a still on my back porch.
good postsI was sick as a dog yesterday. I think I had another pancreatitus attack and found myself in bed, in one hell of a lot of pain, with nothing but a puke-bucket to keep me company. I did just what the doctors did the last two times I was in the hospital with this shit. I quit eating and tried to get as much water into myself as possible. In between upchucks, I did okay. I even managed to swallow and hold down a Vicoden pill long enough for it to do me some good. But I still spent a long and sleepless night, feeling as if red-hot swords were running through my guts. I'm better today and I think I might try to eat something. But I'm getting tired of this shit. When it hits, it hits HARD, and I don't know what triggers it. I need a long nap about now. I didn't get much rest last night. I don't know how much I'll blog today, so if you're looking for somehing good, read this. Or, if you believe that YOU, TOO have a scary head, read this. And if you need something to really make your day, you can read this post, which is shameless but true. I'm still feeling somewhat poorly, but I NEVER totally abandon my readers.
fuck a duckI don't like pate de foie gras. I think it tastes like shit. I don't want any, I'll never buy any and I'll never serve any at MY table. But I also do not understand this kind of uproar. I call that outpouring of emotion some very fine lines of compassion, considering that we slaughter MILLIONS of chickens every day. "This is an indefensible practice. This is a product that is spread on crackers. It's a delicacy. It's an hors d'oeuvre. It is eaten by a very few people. A Zogby poll conducted in Illinois within the last couple of weeks found that 90 percent of Illinois citizens either never ate foie gras or never even heard of foie gras. It is a product that is not necessary, an affront to our humanity." And your point is.....? Let's ban the eating of raw oysters next. Can't you just HEAR those slimy things screaming in pain when they slide down your gullet? I can't, but I'll bet others do, and find that sound to be "an affront to our humanity." Bejus. Some people just don't have enough to do.
dream onI like it when politicians start screaming about "the deficit." It's as if that thing is a boogy-man who simply springs out of the closet at night when you're asleep, sprouts fangs and claws and then chews up money. Bullshit. The monsters are the politicians who spend money like drunken sailors and THEN whine about the "deficit," so they have an excuse to raise taxes and spend even MORE money. Just read this. How many politicians do you think will endorse THAT crazy idea? Give up pork spending to attend to a real crisis? Fuggetabboudit. Professional fretters, led by gloomy columnists such as David Broder, and political opportunists are casting long shadows over the spending, declaring that it is yet another disaster created by the Bush White House. They see the deficit hitting a half trillion dollars this year. Duh. Who would have EVER thunk that thought? There is a way out. For every buck Washington spends on Katrina relief, Congress has to cut a dollar from somewhere else in the budget. Every House member and every senator, as a show of support for the hurricane's victims, should publicly give up a pork project in their district or in their state. Dream on. That'll happen when hell freezes over. Politicians will simply piss and moan, and then raise taxes. The only thing they'll ever cut is YOUR PAYCHECK. Wanna BET on it?
September 14, 2005read itThis is a damn fine post that reflects what I've said for a long time. We have some mighty fine people in this country who WANT to work, to support themselves and get along on their own. Then, we have the leeches who think the USA owes them money for simply being alive. Guess which kind of person I prefer to be around?
quote of the dayI know he stole it from an email, but it still made me laugh: For centuries, Hindu women have worn a red spot on their foreheads. We have always, naively, thought that it had something to do with their religion. Yeah, I know. It's racist and chauvanistic.... but it's still funny. (Shemalessly stolen from here.)
superman sinnerI watched the original "Superman" movie this morning and had a disturbing thought. Do you remember the scene where Lex Luthur set off an atomic bomb to trigger half the state of California to slide off into the ocean? A big dam collapsed as a result and Superman stopped the flood waters from engulfing thousands of people by pushing rocks off a mountain and creating a makeshift dam downstream of the flood. Can you imagine what would happen to Superman if he actually DID such a thing? He'd be in court for the rest of his life. Environmentalists would eat him alive. He didn't have a permit for that dam. He didn't file an Environmental Impact Statement and have it approved. He MAY have threatened the habitat of the endangered three-toed, yellow-ass salamander. These are serious crimes today. What he did was NOT heroic, no matter how many people he saved. It was an assault on our fragile ecosystem.
I am temptedI may submit a few entries to this site. Between my hillbilly youth and my Southern upbringing, I'll bet that I use a LOT of words that they've never heard before. Besides--- I always like to enrich the English language. Do YOU know what a "smidgen" is? How about "a fer piece?" And don't forget "a stone's throw." Damn. I may sit around today and think up a few really good ones.
cry me a riverBejus! I weep and gnash my teeth. I rend my clothes, pull my hair and mourn as if someone in my family just died. it's her birthday and she's approaching her "late 30s." I wish her a very happy birthday, but I ask her to get back to me when she turns 50. We'll compare "body falling apart" notes THEN, if I'm still around.
a "grampus"All three of Mommie's sons swear thet they're NOT lying to me about this creature, but I still find their stories difficult to believe. Have YOU ever heard of a "grampus?" According to my uncles, these things grow as a worm in the creeks all over southeast Kentucky. They make excellent fish bait, so if you go out and catch a few, you can sell them for a good price. At the end of the summer, they develop a hard shell and they're no good for fishing unless you peel them first. In the fall, they turn into butterflys (or moths) and fly away. I think my uncles are just blowing smoke up my ass, but Mommie says it's true, too, and she doesn't lie. I Googled the name and got a lot of pages talking about dolphins. I know we don't have THOSE in eastern Kentucky. Have YOU ever heard of (or SEEN) a "grampus?"
wild greensOne of my favorite memories about visiting Aunt Chassie's farm when I was a boy is going out with the wimmen to pick wild greens on the mountainside. We carried baskets and picked Mountain Tea (that's wild mint, for people who don't know), Poke, wild onions (you can smell those things in your sweat for two days after you eat them), dandilion leaves, and all sorts of other green things. The wimmen encouraged us boys use our pocket knives to peel the bark off a beachnut tree to make tea for drinking on the porch in the evening. That stuff is very tasty just to pop in you mouth and munch on. It's hillbilly chewing gum. I always enjoyed the trip to Aunt Chassie's house. It was WAAAAYYY back up a hollow and you had to drive a car (or a truck) across three creeks to get there. A rutted dirt road with no bridges, and nobody around for miles. Sometimes, after a heavy rain, Aunt Chassie was stuck there until the water in the creeks went down. That's where I was spurred by a rooster, run up an apple tree by a horny bull and spanked for feeding one of the dogs that always slept under the front porch. We ate that rooster in a pot of dumplings after Chassie broke its neck with one expert twist, my grandfather hooked the bull by the ring in its nose and led it away so that I could get out of that apple tree, and I learned that farm dogs aren't pets. After Chassie died at the terribly young age of 93, I heard that one of her sons sold the propety for the mineral rights and some coal company came in and strip-mined the entire place. I'm no environmentalist, but I think that's a crying shame. I have a lot of fond memories of that farm.
oldest trick in the bookWhat do you do when you fuck things up really badly and start feeling some heat on your ass? Why, you jump on a stump and start blaming somebody else, of course. At the top of your lungs. In total outrage. That story would be amusing if it weren't for the fact that we're talking about DEAD PEOPLE here. Bejus. The dead ``deserve more respect than they have received,'' Gov. Kathleen Blanco said at state police headquarters in Baton Rouge. Personally, I think the live ones deserved more respect than governor Blanco displayed in the face of impending disaster. I think she's behaving as a finger-pointing cunt right now. Politicians. They ALL need to be dragged off and shot.
September 13, 2005piesI'm a good cook, but I've never been worth a damn at making pastries. Hell--- even my biscuits suck. I can make damn good cornbread, but that's about it. Me and flour just don't mix. I bought a cherry pie yesterday and I have thououghly enjoyed munching on that thing. Whoever made that one knew what she was doing. It tastes like something Mama baked. SHE could cook anything and make it taste good. I sometimes make pies, but I buy the frozen crusts and stuff them full of seafood. That makes a damn good meal. Here's how I do it: Catch some shrimp or crab (even crawfish) and dice the meat up into small pieces. You can use all three at one time if you want to. Sautee some celery, Vidalia onion and bell pepper in a pan until the onions are tender. Throw all of that stuff and your seafood into a bowl. Crack in TWO raw eggs and mix the contents of the bowl into a nice goo. Add some black pepper, some Worchestershire Sauce, some cayanne pepper, a dash of salt and just a dab or two of Tabasco Sauce. Then, mix some fine-shredded chedder cheese into the goo. Pour it all into a pre-baked pie crust, sprinkle some more cheese over the top, then mash up some Ritz crackers and cover the goo with those crumbs. Pop it into the oven at 400 degrees and let it bake for thirty minutes. Serve with wine and a tossed green salad. You can get laid making that dish.
it bugged meI know that insects are stupid critters than run more on instinct than brain, but I'll never understand one thing about them. When they have all of the great outdoors to prowl, why do they want to fly into my house every time I open the door? Yesterday, I hauled all of my trash outside and threw it into my "Curb Caddy" trash can. I made the mistake of leaving my front door open while I performed that chore. I ended up with two houseflys, one wasp and a gang of some kind of gnat-like creatures, all of whom flew in while the door was open. I eliminated the flies and the wasp with a weapon of mass destruction (a spray can of Raid) and dropped them dead, along with a few of the gnat-critters, as they were banging against the windows on my French Doors in the kitchen, frantically trying to get back OUTSIDE again. Why the hell did they fly in to begin with? But I didn't get all the gnats. Several of them are still cruising around the Crackerbox and driving me crazy. They don't bite, but they must be in love with me. They like to buzz around my ears and try to crawl up my nose when I'm asleep. I damn nearly beat myself up last night trying to slap the bastards that landed on my face. I gassed a few of them this morning, but I still haven't gotten them all. (Heh--- I accidentally had a great plan--- I ate some cantelope for breakfast, left a few uneaten pieces on my plate, and those gnats flocked to it like buzzards on road-kill. I pulled a Raid ambush on their asses and killed all but the smart ones.) I still have a few buzzing around, and I'm keeping that can of Raid handy. I don't know what these aphid-looking fuckers are, but I don't like them. They are very quick and difficult to kill. That's another reason I don't believe in God. Would a divine being create such an annoying creature? If so, why?
September 12, 2005grow your ownI totally agree with this post. Food you grow yourself always tastes better than anything you can buy in a store. Plus, GROWING IT is a real challenge. You have to till the soil, plant the seeds, fight the bugs, keep everything watered and fertilized, then hoe away the weeds while your crop grows. Hope like hell that the deer don't raid one night and eat everything. There's a fine reward in the end, if you do it correctly. It's a lot of work, but it's worth it. I miss farming. I think it's in my blood, but I've got nobody but myself to feed anymore, so I haven't planted a garden for two years now. I ended up giving away almost everything I grew two years ago. The corn and the beans and the squash and okra, the potatoes, the tomatoes and the cucumbers all grew nicely, but I couldn't eat all of that stuff. After I gave it all away to my neighbors, I decided not to do it again. I haven't since, and I am spiritually poorer because of that decision. Getting your hands in the dirt is a GOOD thing.
no excuseThis crap is inexcusable in this country. What did the staff do? Just run off and abandon those people? NEW ORLEANS (AP) - Forty-five bodies have been found at a hospital that was abandoned more than a week ago after it was surrounded by floodwaters unleashed by Hurricane Katrina, a state health official said Monday... Bejus. Heads should roll over this unconscionable behavior. But that's what you get when you elect assclowns to political office, which I believe Louisiana did with Ray Nagin and Mary Landrieu. Sometimes "leaders" have to LEAD rather than just strut around acting important.
wanna be a successful thief?Just become a lawyer. Last month, a widely published Associated Press story reported that Sony had agreed to settle a $1.5 million class-action lawsuit by disgruntled moviegoers, who could recoup $5 for each ticket they purchased for any of the films faux-blurbed by the nonexistent Manning. News of the settlement created a stir in cyberspace and the entertainment press, with visions of tens of thousands of chagrined rubes lining up around the studio with their palms outstretched. Like, right on! Multiplexers unite! The thieves didn't even NEED a gun to pull off that big-time robbery. Just a law degree and a nice suit. That's pathetic.
just spend moneyThe older I get, the less respect I have for politicians. Those self-absorbed bastards and bitches care a lot more about clinging to office (or advancing THEMSELVES) than they do about running the country. George Bush has been a big disappointment to me. I'm not talking about Iraq, either, because I believe that our military should be there. But George spends money like a Democrat. He doesn't exercise his veto pen. He signs pork-laden shit such as the Farm Bill and the Highway Bill with a smirk on his face. Those are MY goddam tax dollars being poured down those federal rat-holes. I DID NOT vote twice for Bush to watch him try to act like Lyndon Johnson. This country is still paying for Johnson's fuck-ups and we will be for a long time to come. Just go read this. WTF? I don't care how delusional the federal government may be, but the fact is that money doesn't grow on trees and it doesn't fall like rain from the sky. Every dollar the government spends it must TAKE from somebody else first. If I handled my personal finances the way the federal government does business, I'd be broke on my ass in less than a year and in debt for the rest of my life. I don't intend to end up broke, because I can do something the federal government doesn't seem to be able to do--- I can tell the difference between "I want it" and "I NEED it." Neither the White House nor Congress appears to be in any mood, for example, to revisit the highway bill's 6,373 "earmarks," or individual projects for members, worth $24.2 billion. Alaska's Rep. Don Young, chairman of the House Transportation Committee, has bragged that the bill is "stuffed like a turkey" with goodies for his state. It includes $721 million for Alaska, including a $2.2 million "bridge to nowhere" connecting the town of Ketchikan (population 8,900) to an airport on Gravina Island (population 50). Another bridge, in Anchorage, has a $200 million price tag and is considered such a marginal project that even the Anchorage Chamber of Commerce opposes it. I donated $100 to the Salvation Army for Katrina relief. I wish now that I hadn't done that. I think I put my money into a worthy cause, but it's still going to be a waste. I should have kept that money to apply to my taxes next year. Bejus knows the government can find a scheme to piss it away.
my kind of cat jokeI got this one in an email and just HAD to post it: A firefighter is working on the engine outside the station when he notices a little girl riding down the sidewalk in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the sides and a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle. The girl is wearing a firefighter's helmet. The wagon is being pulled by her dog and her cat. The firefighter walks out to take a closer look. "That sure is a nice fire truck," he says admiringly. "Thanks, Mister Fireman," the girl says. The firefighter looks a little closer and notices the girl has tied the wagon to her dog's collar and to the cat's testicles. "Little Partner," the firefighter says, "I don't want to tell you how to run your rig, but if you were to tie that rope around the cat's collar, I think you could go faster." The little girl replies sweetly, "You're probably right, but then I wouldn't have a siren.” That rig would be fun to play with.
September 11, 2005stupid criminalsI've never understood the thinking of some petty criminals. Would YOU risk going to jail for 20 years and being butt-buddies with some big, muscular black guy named "DaShawn" for $350? I wouldn't, but some people do. When I dated Dora, she was the assistant manager of a convienence store. That place was robbed several times and the most any thief ever got away with was about $40 and a carton of Newport cigarettes. Those crack-heads came in waving GUNS for that loot, too. That's just fucking crazy to me. Is $40 and a carton of Newports worth going to jail for? You can EARN $40 with one day of work at minimum wage and buy your own goddam cigarettes, then have $20 left over. But that's not the way criminals think. WORK!!?? Fuck that!!! I'll guarantee you that prisons are FULL of assholes who did something similar, got caught and fucked up the rest of their lives. That kind of behavior is sheer stupidity. If I ever intend to be a criminal, I'm going for a big score. It won't be a bank, because you usually don't get a lot of money from a bank robbery and, if you can aviod the dye-packets, you still end up with the FBI on your ass. That's too risky. Case a Wal-Mart or a big grocery store. Find out where the accounting office is. Wait until they empty the registers on a pickup, then rob the office. You can steal up to $40,000 that way, if you can pull it off and get out of there. I'd make a good criminal. I would plan a lot before I acted. That's the writer in me. I always look at things like that as something I might want to put in a book some fine day. Ya gotta make it read REAL. But even $40,000 isn't worth the risk. I've spent a night in jail. I don't think I would like prison.
ghoulsWhat good is taking taking pictures of dead bodies going to do anyone? BEJUS! Our "mainstream media" is becoming more like The National Enquirer every day. On Thursday, Honore said the media would be allowed ``zero access'' to recovery efforts. But on Sunday, he said reporters and photographers have ``total access'' to the area. If Honore swings a dead cat, CNN probably wants film of that, too. Fucking ghouls.
betting on footballI started to call a bookie that I know and bet $100 on every NFL football game played today. I wasn't going to pick winners and losers. I was gonna bet the "UNDER" on every game played. Offences usually take longer to jell than defenses do, so I was ALMOST ready to bet a lot of money on low-scoring games. I'm glad that I didn't do it now. I would have lost a few hundred dollars. I quit betting on football games a long time ago. I need to stick with that practice. (UPDATE: Now that all the scores are in, I would have won $200, minus the vig for the bookie. My instimcts were correct, but I'm still glad that I didn't place those bets,)
9/11I should write some kind of mememorial post about 9/11, but plenty of other people are doing that, probably a lot better than I can. I'll just link to this. On 9/11/01, I was sitting on my mama's back porch and drinking a cup of coffee. I had just gotten out of Willingway Hospital the day before and my life was in ruins. The phone rang. It was my grandmother telling me to tune in to the news on television. Something terrible was happening. I watched as the second plane flew into one of the towers. I watched as the towers collapsed, one after the other. I imagined that the death toll would be horriffic, a LOT worse than it turned out to be, but a part of me couldn't help thinking that I was looking at something that reminded me of me. Stand tall and strong one day, then have somebody launch a sneak attack on you and bring you down to rubble. Seeing those buildings fall was symbolic of how I felt at the time. I know that's a selfish, self-pitying notion, but I never will forget it. That's the reason I don't like talking about 9/11.
dreamsI really do have a frightening subconscious mind. I dream vividly, and most of what I dream is very weird shit. I dream about being back at work, but I'm not wearing any shoes. I dream about Jennifer laughing at me while she's fucking someone else. I dream about being stuck in a high place with no way to get down. I dream about being able to fly, too. I LIKE those dreams, because all I have to do is WISH myself into the air, and there I go, just like a bird. I dream about my father a lot, too. But I also dream about clogged toilets and crap running all over the floor. I dream about monsters and horrible things coming after me and every gun I try to use just drops a bullet from the barrel. I try to run, but it's like I'm swimming through syrup. I sometimes wake up in a cold sweat. Does that ever happen to YOU? Good. It doesn't to me, either. I just made this stuff up.
September 10, 2005my songsI've written well over 50 songs in my life. Some of them ain't bad. But I started to catologue them tonight and realized that I remember the words to only a few of them. That's horrible. I must have played every one of those songs 5,000 times in my guitar-playing days. I remember how to play them, but I can't recall the words. In 1980, I entered a "Talent Contest" sponsored by a local radio station that had 100 bands and pickers competing for a $1,000 prize. I played by myself and did a song I wrote called "North Georgia Country Girl," about a lover of mine, and I made the TOP FIVE FINALISTS!!! In the final competition, I did another song I wrote called "Going For Broke." I ended up finishing second to a woman who sang just like Linda Rondstat. She won with a beautiful rendition of "Blue Bayou." I cannot remember the words to either one of those songs today. I recall pieces of the lyrics, but not the entire song. I had all of that stuff written down once upon a time, but a couple of divorces tend to make you lose some stuff that you THOUGHT you were going to hang onto. I want to record both songs, but I don't believe I can re-write the lyrics again--- at least not as good as they once were. I wrote that stuff when I was young and full of passion. I'm not that person anymore.
i'm depressedMy beloved Georgia Bulldogs beat South Carolina tonight (and denied the Anti-Christ himself, Steve Spurrier, a victory between the hedges), but my Dawgs didn't really impress me. Shockley is too spastic, the team commits too many stupid penalties and somebody in the SEC is gonna knock their asses off this year. That game was WAAAAY to close to suit me. Georgia should have killed them. I LOVE football and I've always thought that I would make a good coach, especially with young kids just learning to play. Jack's mama came to see me a couple of days ago to tell me that Jack is about to start another season of playing football and he's going to be the starting quarterback on his team. "He never even SAW a football before you played with Jack and Quinton in your yard," she said. "Now his coach thinks he's played before. I used to watch you teaching those boys. You were good at it." Yeah, that's me. Good at everything I try. Except marriage. I ain't real good at that. I don't know why, but my spirit is flagging tonight. I tried to call Quinton and got the answering machine again. That threw me farther down my pit of depression. I MISS my son. And I still believe that every boy needs a daddy, not just a child-support check in the mail. My father became my tutor and my anchor in life once I got though my idiotic teenage years. I relied on his wisdom many a time. Who is going to do that for Quinton? Jennifer? Her latest stiff-dicked lover? That's MY goddam job and I want to do it. I want to ask you a question. Just suppose that you "fell OUT of love" with the person you were married to. Just suppose that you were having an affair with someone else and plotting a bloodless cunt divorce. Just suppose that your husband was diagnosed with prostate cancer at that time. Would YOU lie to his family--- people who trusted you and welcomed you into the fold like a daughter? Would YOU flaunt your adultery in front of your husband's friends? Would YOU say "have a great day" when your husband was headed to the hospital for a radical prostatectomy? Would YOU show up late for your son's first soccer game on Saturday, missing his first goal of the season, looking like someone who's been rode hard and put up wet with dried cum in your hair? Would YOU look in your husband's truck and find a pack of diapers that HE had to wear because of incontenence and wave one around, saying, "Aw... how CUTE!" Jennifer did all of that and more to me. Some people believe that I'm a real sonofabitch. I'll admit that I'm capable of pissing a lot of people off. In my years at work, I fired a lot of people. I was known as a hard-ass. But I loved Jennifer. A part of me still does. I cannot imagine ANYTHING I ever did that deserved the treatment I got from her. I'll never understand it. I don't have that kind of cruelty in me. That woman tried to destroy me and she damn nearly succeeded. And she hasn't stopped trying for four years. She may get her wish shortly. I haven't been feeling well for the past couple of days. I don't know what's wrong, but it's something bad. Between the vertigo and the weakness in my legs, I can barely get around anymore. What the hell. The Dawgs won.
fatherly adviceI followed in my father's footsteps. I was the youngest General Foreman in the history of my chemical plant. I was offered that job when I was 33 years old. I took it, but I didn't like it much at first. I worked in an area that had a lot of senior people there and I knew from the get-go that I didn't know shit about that place. A lot of people there resented me being in charge, so I had some rough times. I went to visit my father one day. As we drank a beer together, I told him that I was VERY uncomfortable with my new job and I wasn't certain that I could handle it. I was thinking about going back to the relief supervisor's job, from whence I came. My father looked at me as if he wanted to wring my neck. "I didn't raise no goddam quitter!" he said. "If you turn this down, you'll NEVER get the opportunity again. I KNOW the job is scary. I've been there. But YOU CAN DO IT!!! Trust your instincts, boy. You've got what it takes." I left the house thoroughly chastised, but I listened to what my father had to say. HE did it when he was 23. I could damn sure do it when I was 33. I did. And I have my father to thank for sticking a foot in my ass when I needed one planted right there.
my life as a country songI've mentioned before that I'm in this world today because of an egg salad sandwich. But there's more to that story. When my mama and daddy started courting, my grandfather didn't like my father. My dad was a raggamuffin, being raised by an aunt and uncle who didn't treat him very well, and my Papaw saw no prospects for that young boy. He didn't want him marrying his daughter. Mom and Dad always laughed about the fact that if Papaw hadn't been working the 3-11 shift in the coal mines, they never WOULD have gotten married. They eloped. My grandmother slipped my mama five dollars and said, "If you love him, marry him." Mom and Dad hopped a bus and went off to get married. Dad joined the Navy after that and spent a year on Guam. He wrote my mama a love letter every day. When he came back to Kentucky, he and mom worked on having a baby. That was ME. Dad took a pissant job in the coal mine, but worked his ass off and kept being promoted until he became the youngest section foreman in the history of the Corbin Coal Company. He was 23 years old and in charge of bossing some really rough cobs. He did a damn good job. He finally earned my grandfather's respect. When mama got pregnant, they both went down to the bank of the Cumberland River, built a fire, and read all of those letters over again. Then, they tossed the letters in the fire and burned them all. I wish they hadn't done that. I would LOVE to read those letters today, now that Mama and Daddy are both gone forever. If you don't think there's a country song in that story, you don't listen to country music.
September 09, 2005the $2,000 debit cardThis was a fucking brilliant idea brain-farted by someone who should know better. I almost wish that the government didn't cancel the program. If they don't throw the money away on this asinine idea, they'll just find another one and throw it away there. GIVE THE VICTIMS the "free" money, but collect the recipts to see where the money went. As I've said before--- I'm a gambling man. I also know people. I'll even give you odds that most of the money is NOT spent on food or shelter. More probably would go for lottery tickets and cheap liquor. If those people gave a shit about food and shelter, they wouldn't be where they are right now. If they gave a shit about themselves, they wouldn't be whining to the government right now. If you give them $2,000, they'll run through it like Sherman went through Georgia and probably have NOTHING to show for it, except another outstretched hand, when the money is gone. Kiss my Cracker ass. I really believe that it is DIFFICULT to be "poor" in this country today. You've got to TRY HARD to be poor. (I still remember that film I saw on CNN several years ago when welfare reform was coming down the pike. Some fat black woman screamed to the crowd "I work HAAARRRD for my welfare check!!!" and everybody applauded her.) How do you "work hard" for a welfare check? How do you manage to weigh 300 pounds when you're "starving?" And why is it MY job to take care of YOUR sorry ass? Get an education. Learn a work ethic. Don't have children unless you can afford to raise them yourself. Eat cheap and live cheap while you save some money. Know what your kids are doing every day. That's tough stuff, isn't it? It damn sure must be, because a lot of people can't do it.
living up to its name
Look at that "projected" storm track. Is Ophelia a crazy woman, or not? She's predicted to live up to her name (and if you don't know what I'm talking about, read "Hamlet.") I've been watching this storm for the past several days and reading the forecasts. Personally, I don't think the "experts" have a clue about what this storm is gonna do. I DO NOT like the idea of that bitch coming right up the Savannah River with 85 MPH sustained winds, but if that happens, I'm ready. I'm accustomed to roughing it. I have plenty of canned food, lots of flashlights and batteries, a Coleman lantern, fuel for it, a propane grill and two bottles of propane. If the forecast proves to be accurate, I'll load every plastic jug I have with water and toss them in my freezer before the electricity goes out. I'll have ice. I'll have food. I'll also have a lot of loaded guns around. I'll do that all by myself. Why didn't people in New Orleans do the same thing? Today, the wind is really kicking outside. It damn nearly blew the American flag off my front porch. I can hear it making moaning noises as it blows along the roof-gutters of my house. That's Ophelia. Let her come. I'm ready. (UPDATE: I don't really expect to see Ophelia hit where I live. The forecasts are too confused right now to predict anything with certainty. As a gambling man, I'll bet that it heads north of where I live. But I'm STILL taking care of business, just in case. I've lost bets before.)
kinda pissed off?Mama is in a foul mood. The truth is, I don't blame her one little bit. I feel the same way when I see some of those ungrateful shits on TV. Let's just get a few things straight: 1) Bush didn't cause the hurricaine. 2) You shoulda looked out for you OWN ASS instead of expecting government to do it for you. 3) If you're alive, be thankful for that fact. Don't bitch about the free food because it doesn't meet the standards of YOUR delicate palate. 4) STOP WHINING!!! Take some personal responsibility for the choices YOU made. 5) Learn a lesson. Get OUT next time. Aw, I'm just pissing in the wind here. The idea of people taking care of themselves vanished a long time ago. That's the government's job now. Once again, thank you LBJ.
bullshit!Local government totally fucked up the disaster in New Orleans. So how do they respond NOW, way too late? They want to confiscate guns, of course. Bejus. Who's giving them such orders? Hillary Clinton? I'll be totally honest with you here. In THAT situation, I'll give up my guns when some uniformed government thug pries them from my cold, dead hands. Besides, if the government thinks it's going to disarm the entire state of Louisiana, it's out of its collective mind. This is stupid policy.
it's his birthdayMark Twain once wrote that everybody starts a diary or a journal once in life, but most people seldom keep it up for more than 30 days. I've seen the same thing happen a lot in blogdom. Blogging is NOT as easy as it looks and people who stick with it for a long time earn my admiration. So, y'all go wish Eric a happy birthday. He's gonna be two years old tomorrow. I've met the guy several times, I've gotten drunk with him and I think his wife is a hottie. I'm delighted to see that he's still going strong. Happy Birthday, Eric!
September 08, 2005i couldn't agree moreHere's a good post that adds more perspective than most I've seen written about Katrina. Read that one and scroll down. He's got some more good stuff there, too.
panther creek fallsI went back packing in the Cahutta Widlerness once, and I think we hiked the "Jack's River Trail." It was beautiful. All the leaves were in full fall color and blossoms from the mountain laurel tumbled like snowflakes around us as we walked. We came to "Panther Creek Falls," where the trail headed steeply down the mountain. The falls were probably about 90' high and they kicked up a rainbow over the stream below. It was a pretty spectacular sight, but I didn't walk out on the cliff to look down because the rocks were all covered in wet moss that is as slick as snot. I had busted my ass on that stuff before. I knew better. When we got to the bottom of the falls, we stopped for a lunch break. I didn't eat anything. I dropped my pack, grabbed a bar of soap and started taking my clothes off. "What the hell do you think you're doing, Rob?" one of my companions asked. "I'm gonna take a shower," I replied, and I waded butt-ass nekked out into the stream until I was UNDER that waterfall. HOLY BEJUS!!! The water was COLD. It beat on my head like a carpenter with a hammer. My codsack shrunk up to the size of a marble and my dick just totally disappeared. But I soaped up and washed myself. After the initial shock, it felt pretty good, even though the air temperature was only about 55 degrees at the time. I just wish I had a shower head in my bathtub that is as good as spring-fed water falling 90' off a mountain. That'll damn nearly put knots on your head. Nobody else in the group wanted to give it a try, but when I crawled out of there, toweled off and got dressed again, I was as warm as toast and I felt clean and refreshed. That's the best shower I ever took in my life.
finger pointingOne thing that always disgusted me at work was when we had a big calamity and all the bosses huddled together to find someone to BLAME for it. They didn't concern themselves with what caused the problem (that might have involved THEIR asses) and they didn't seem to care about stopping it from happening again. They just wanted a goat to scape. I see the same thing happening in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina. This finger-pointing bullshit may score some temporary political points for the shriekers, but it doesn't address the problem. The list of things that went wrong is long enough to occupy a lot of people for a long time, if they want to study the root causes. The mayor of New Orleans is a dumbass --- I'll grant that fact. The governor of Louisiana is just as dumb as the mayor. But voters elected both of them, so live with your choices. Quit whining now. This was a disaster just waiting to happen, and I blame our pork-barrel congress a lot more than I do President Bush for what occurred. Just go read this. I don't usually link to the Godfather, but this one was too good to pass up. I was Captain of the Fire Team for ten years at work. I put out a lot of fires and went to every got-dam training school the company sent me to. I also was a certified Haz-Mat Incident Commander, although I never had to exercise those skills on my job. But we drilled and we practiced all the time. We staged scenearios and figured out what to do if the very worst happened. THIS is at a pissant chemical plant just outside of Savannah. Why can't state or federal government do the same thing? I know the answer. FEMA jobs are a gravy train. Politics is a gravy train. NOBODY is accountable for performance, and they DON'T fucking practice. All they do is point fingers at somebody else when the shit hits the fan. Find a goat to scape, and YOUR problem is solved. That kind of behavior surely does the people a lot of good. But--- I have to admit--- we keep electing the government we deserve.
all right!!!This is the kind of story that makes me proud to be an American. You know what it's got that you seldom hear from government anymore? Self-reliance. I've never met Vance Anthion and I probably never will, but if I ever do, I want to shake his hand. THAT'S a fine man, one hell of a lot better than those pork-bearing assholes we elect to congress. Shit may float in a flood, but good people rise above that.
lootersHe's a theiving bastard, but at least he has the balls to confess to his sins. Hell--- if I had the chance, I mighta stolen that shit, too.
me and the bobcatOne of my operators went on his rounds one morning and called me on the radio shortly thereafter. He was supposed to test-run our emergency diesel fire pump, but said he couldn't do it because "lions" were in the diesel shack. I walked out there to see what was going on. My operator told me to be careful, but I thought the dumb bastard was hallucinating, so I just snatched the door open and took a step inside. HOLY BEJUS!!! A bobcat mama had snuck in there and dropped a litter of bobcat kittens right behind my fire pump. She reared up and snarled at me, with what appeared to be, at a quick glance, three kittens hanging from her teats. I stepped back outside and left the door cracked open. "Leave 'em alone," I told my operator. "We'll fire up the diesel pump when she decides to move out." Have you ever seen a wild bobcat? They are impressive animals. A LOT bigger than a house cat, with a mouthful of teeth that mean business, no tail and a VERY pissy attitude. I wanted no truck with that mama. From my office window, I could see the firehouse, and I watched that bobcat carry all three kittens out of the pump-shack and take them off into the woods. She carried one at a time, by the scruff of the neck, and once she was gone with her litter, I never saw her again. But don't tell me we don't have bobcats around Savannah. I've SEEN FOUR and if that mama had kittens, there had to be a daddy involved in that equation. That makes FIVE. They are mean-looking bastards, too.
September 07, 2005part one is doneI am now the proud owner of a Washburn electric bass guitar and more amp than I'll probably ever need. That amp must weigh 70 pounds and it's got enough power to blow the panes out of my windows. I got a hell of a deal on the package, too. The guitar is very pretty. It's a brown wood-grain finish on the front with a maghogany fingerboard. I like it because the neck is not as wide as some other bass guitars I've played in the past. I think my short, stubby fingers can handle this one. I'm going to drink some beer, plug it in and try it out tonight. (UPDATE: Hot damn! I need a woman. I'd forgotten what effect playing electric bass has on my gonads. The THUMP and the vibration make me horny.)
face the truthThis is a damn good post. Call me a racist all you want to, but I SAW this shit happen in my lifetime, and facts are facts. When Lyndon Johnson signed the Civil Rights Bill, he cackled that he'd "have the ni**ers voting Democrat for the next 200 years." He was correct. My brother was President of his senior class at Jenkins High School when the forced integration hit his school. Black hoodlums piled off the school buses and started riots. Dumbasses like MY BROTHER wanted to welcome them to the school and make them feel at home. He was rewarded by being assaulted and beaten a few times by savage gangs who brought brass knuckles and sharpened belt-buckles to school. That shit changed my brother's attitude about a lot of things. His school was shut down so many times by riots his senior year that he almost didn't graduate on time. I'll call it like I see it. You bring a bunch of savages into a civilized school system and you DO NOT civilize the savages. THEY bring everybody else down to their level. THAT'S what's wrong with the public school system today. When did it go to shit? When the government got involved intending to do "good." Bejus. Government fucks up almost everything it touches when it tries to do "good." I once took a lunch break from work and went down to a shopping center about three miles from the plant to buy a box of fried chicken. The sidewalk was PACKED with black boys, probably about the age of 12 to 14, all wearing baggy pants with boxer shorts hanging out the back. Every other word out of their mouths was "muthufucker" or "ni**er." I wondered why in the hell they weren't in school. But I'm not supposed to notice that kind of behavior. I'm a racist when I do. Because 50 years of seeing this shit should NOT make an impression on me? Blacks make a lot of their own problems for themselves today. Racism doesn't have a got-dam thing to do with it. It's BEHAVIOR. If racism were the culprit, ALL blacks would be in the same boat and NONE of them would be successful. But quite a few DO make it well in this country. I don't call that "acting white," either. I call it playing by the rules, which too many black people don't seem to be able (or willing) to do. Call me a racist and tell me that I'm full of hate. I just see the world for what it is. No one is so blind as the one who will not see.
why wasn't it reported?Here's a little tidbit I found at overlawyered today. Oh! Something that's not made national news, as far as I've seen: at least 6 looters have been shot in St. Tammany parish (where I live), according to the deputies, and their orders are to shoot to kill. St. Tammany has the highest per-capita income of the state. It's home to doctors, lawyers, engineers, and scientists. But it's still a bit wild, apparently. Shit like this is the reason I I'll take my chances in that contest. Those looting rats should be shot down like the vermin they are. The news media should REPORT the killings, too, to discourage more of the same venal behavior. But that might be "racist," and we all know how that card works today.
al franken is a big, fat liarI have forced myself to watch Al Franken's show on television a few times. I always keep a barf-bag handy, because it's nauseating stuff. That guy is so full of shit that he'd ooze brown out of his ears if anyone ever gave him a big hug. You want to talk about lying liars? Al Franken just might be the poster boy.
professional assholeWe have delicate ears now. People need to be careful what they say. Dictionary definitions of words mean nothing anymore. The "TRUE" meaning is inferred by people who like to "read between the lines." ``It is racist to call American citizens refugees,'' the Rev. Jesse Jackson said, visiting the Houston Astrodome on Monday. Members of the Congressional Black Caucus have expressed similar sentiments. What ISN'T racist to that conniving bastard? I don't see Jesse doing a damn thing or reaching into HIS pocket to help these.... displaced citizens. He's just stirring shit, as usual. Why do people put up with such assclowns?
September 06, 2005"Another monster storm!!!!"
That's the way a lot of "news" stories I read are portraying this pissant storm. It's not much more than a typical southeastern sqall. It damn surely ain't another Katrina. Still, WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!!! I wouldn't want to be living on Jacksonville Beach right now, but if I were 40 miles inland, I wouldn't think twice about it. If the predictions are correct (and they're pretty good today), it'll be some wind and rain and not much of anything else. I blame the news media for a lot of what happened in New Orleans. When every fucking storm that comes down the pike is described as a "killer" or a "monster," and then nothing much happens, it's like "The Boy Who Cried Wolf." Do that shit often enough and nobody believes you when a REAL killer is on the way. You'll notice that the news media don't BLAME THEMSELVES for beating the panic drum. Oh, no. They're still out there conducting business as usual. Lying to you. This storm won't be diddly-squat.
this is thrillingI'm kinda bad about reading all of my email except for when I don't feel inspired to write. I found this one today: Hi. I've been looking at your blog and I think you have a very good chance of getting listed at our blog directory, "High Class Blogs." I almost fell out of my chair laughing at that message. I have TWO serious problems with it from the start--- first, who are these unknown, but obviously erudite people who decide WHAT is a high-class blog? Who died and left a vacancy in THEIR Supreme Court? Second--- I DO NOT run a "high-class" blog. I post a lot, but I cuss, I write about fart-stories and I sometimes am unkind to wimmen. As I've said before... you have linkers, thinkers and stinkers in blogdom. The linkers and thinkers are the "high-class" blogs. I'm a STINKER and I wouldn't have it any other way. I just wasn't born to the manor. "High Class" is out of my range. I sent 'em a link anyway. What do I have to lose?
I'm going to post the whole thingThis is a long link, but you need to read it. It's about one of those "forbidden" topics we just don't discuss today for fear of being called a racist. But it's altogether true: An Unnatural Disaster: A Hurricane Exposes the Man-Made Disaster of the Welfare State Bleed all over me with your leftist heart telling me that none of that is true. When you become accustomed to living on a hand-out, nothing is off-limits. It's ALL FREE!!! Thank you, LBJ.
i feel sadBob Denver made a lot of money in his life by playing buffoon characters on television. He died today, at the age of 70. I really liked him as Maynard G. Krebbs on the old "Dobie Gillis" show. (Didn't the "G" stand for "Howard?"--- or some other name that didn't start with a "G?") Ole Maynard broke out in the galloping sweats anytime someone mentioned the word "work." I still watch those old reruns from time to time. I simply COULD NOT suspend my disbelief enough to take "Gilligan's Island" seriously. You strand ME on a tropical island with a couple of hotties like Ginger and Mary Ann, and there's going to be some he-ing and she-ing before long. Hell--- I might have killed the Skipper in his sleep just so I could hog on BOTH wimmen. But Gilligan was a like a pre-pubescent child. Or a homosexual deck-boy in love with his captain. I often thought I could write an X-rated version of Gilligan's Island that could explore all these dark secrets. I never got around to doing that, and today I mourn for a man who became rich and famous by playing a silly bastard on TV. Did you know that he had a college degree and once was a school teacher? That's true. Adios, Bob.
what else did you expect?
I took this test and got the results I expected. I ain't no Cary Grant, and I don't want to be. I'm a lot more like this: John Wayne You scored 50% Tough, 4% Roguish, 28% Friendly, and 19% Charming! You, my friend, are a man's man, the original true grit, one tough talking, swaggering son of a bitch. You're not a bad guy, on the contrary, you're the ultimate good guy, but you're one tough character, rough and tumble, ready for anything. You call the shots and go your own way, and if some screwy dame is willing to accept your terms, that's just fine by you. Otherwise, you'll just hit the open trail and stay true to yourself. You stand up for what you believe and can handle any situation, usually by rushing into the thick of the action. You're not polished and you're not overly warm, but you're a straight shooter and a real stand up guy. Co-stars include Lauren Bacall and Maureen O'Hara, tough broads who can take care of themselves. This test is pretty good. Maureen O'Hara was a red-headed Irish woman, and I have a weakness for them.
my recording studioI've decided NOT to half-ass or cut any corners on this stuff. I'm at a point in my life where I can afford to do this, so I'm going to do it right the first time. If the deal I have in the works goes through, I'll own a Washburn electric bass guitar and a good (although used) Peavy bass amp tomorrow. I've played the guitar and I like it. I haven't seen the amp, but if it works, I'm gonna buy it at a sweet price. Peavy makes good amps. I've ordered the other stuff I need to make my studio complete and I'll get it when the UPS truck shows up. That'll include a couple of really good speakers, a dual-cassette recorder, a CD burner and an amp to power all of it. I read once where somebody said you can measure the age of a man by the number of expensive toys he owns. This ain't no home-made skateboard I'm setting up here. By the time I'm finished, I'll have well over $2,500 invested in it. But I can play with it until I die.
we think this way nowI received this missive in an email from Jill Wilson and I think she displays a good take on the world today. BLESSED ARE THE CRACKED; FOR IT IS THEY WHO LET IN THE LIGHT ------------------------------------ So, if I die while my old, wrinkled butt is parked in front of this computer, I want you to blame Bill Gates...okay?
quote of the dayThis one comes via email from one of our troops serving in Iraq. I am certain that he will be branded a "racist" for saying what he did, but I agree with him about the people in New Orleans: "Get off your ass, grab a broom, a shovel, or whatever, and help yourself and your neighbors get themselves out of the crap they're in! Stop waiting for a handout! You be the one that gives out the food. You be the one that carries the old ladies. You be the one that picks up the trash. Maybe somewhere along the way you'll find your self-respect? Maybe somewhere along the way you'll understand what it is to help someone else for a change. Maybe then you'll understand how frigging weak you look and how much you embarrass yourself and those around you by actually trying to be helpless and worthless and having a "slave" mentality. Your dignity is only a step away! Take the step!" That's good preaching. It's good advice. But you won't hear it coming out of the mouths of Jesse Jackson or Al Sharpton. Black "leaders" don't think that way and they don't want their sheeple doing it, either. Just sit on your ass with your hand out and whine. Then expect the government to fill your hand with something you didn't earn. Get pissed off and riot when your hand isn't filled quickly enough to suit your begging self. Cry "RACISM!" all the while. BEJUS! Snatch all the American greenback dollars you can while calling yourself an "African American," even though you've never been to Africa and probably couldn't find the continent on a globe. That's the way to earn respect.
stick with actingWhen you're an actor, you recite lines that somebody else wrote and you have a director to tell you HOW to recite those lines. Here's what happens when big-deal celebrity wings it own his own. WTF did he think he was gonna do with that pissasnt boat anyway? That fucker wouldn't be good for catching bass, let alone rescuing people, even if you left your "personal photographer" behind and remembered to plug the drain hole in the boat. Celebrities. They ALL are geniuses.
other good blogsI said I was gonna make another list, so here it is. These blogs are NOT Tall Dogs who receive thousands of visits every day. But they are damn good and well worth reading. Again, I put them in no particular order: *Check out laughing wolf. He's a very good writer and I'd like to live the way he does. Yeah. I could dance with wolves. They wouldn't think I was a fucktard when I danced, the way wimmen do. My only complaint with him is that he doesn't post often enough. *I like the briar patch. Sam is a blogger I've met and quaffed a few adult beverages with. Just don't ever hand him a loaded handgun. He has a tendency to want to pull the hammer back and... well, never mind. * Here's a good one that was bound to happen. GUYK, of just charming was a frequent commenter on a lot of blogs before he started his own. I'm delighted that he did. He's a good writer. * I had a chance to meet this guy about a month ago, but I was too ill to make it into town. I'm really sorry that I didn't drag myself to Savannah to see him. ellison writes and talks like someone I would like. * Even though he lives Down South now, I don't know if we can EVER turn this guy into real Southener. But I'm going to keep trying to get yippie-ka-yay to learn to sing "Dixie." *I'm always suspicious of pictures that I see on a blog. Some authors post something from their high-school yearbook on their sidebar when they're as old as I am. But if stevie looks ANYTHING like her picture, I could become lustful. Especially on a farm. * This guy just ain't right in the head. I tend to be attracted to such people. * This site makes me dizzy sometimes. Too much shit moving around. But I like the attitude. * I'd like to go shooting with this guy. He kinda reminds me of me. * As he says, there are many like it, but this one is his, and it's unique. There are 10 good ones to read.
September 05, 2005one great postWhen I was a kid, my family never had much money. We got by as best we could. My father worked his ass off. I never went hungry, but I never lived at the top 'o the heap, either. Looking back now, I realize how lucky I was. I think I grew up a lot like this guy did. Not poor, but depending on the next paycheck to manage the bills. And you did whatever you had to do to make ends meet. NOBODY in MY family ever sat by the mailbox waiting on a check from the government. We hoed our own rows. Too many people don't do that today.
vertigoDo YOU ever stand up and start getting brown-outs in your vision? Do you get dizzy and require something to hang onto to keep from falling down? Do your ears burn hot and your feet feel numb? Does it take about 30 seconds to a full minute for one of those spells to pass? Good. That never happens to ME, either.
quote of the dayDid you ever sit around a campfire as a kid and have an adult scare the living shit out of you with outrageous stories that were actually BELIEVABLE in your young mind? I did, and that's why I like this quote so much. "... ever since I can remember, I've heard stories of giant snakes living for generations in the warm, spring-fed sinkholes back there... and giant cats prowling the undergrowth... stealthy, unseen panthers snatching the occasional calf as late as the 1960s... remnants of Barnum's jaguars or Bailey's lions, I suspect... That's one thing that makes camping so much fun when you're a kid. LIONS AND TIGERS AND BEARS, OH MY! I know that people who read this blog may find it difficult to imagine, but I am REALLY GOOD at telling scary campfire stories. I know when I'm on a roll with a good one when all the boys start huddling closer together around the fire with wide eyes and half-gaped mouths. They cling on every word. I just make that shit up, but I'm pretty good at it, and I put in just enough fact to make my fiction believable. I had one bunch of boys I took camping at Magnolia Springs picking up pine cones in the dark to ward off the "Monster in the Lake." I told them about the monster, then said that if you didn't make a triangle out of three pine cones outside your tent.... well, the monster just might come to get you. The pine cones were the only way to ward him off. Some of the older boys attempted to call bullshit on my story, but I just shrugged my shoulders. "You can believe me or not," I said. "That's YOUR choice." Every tent had a pine cone triangle outside before the boys went to bed that night. I chuckled about what I did, but I'll guarantee you something else--- I gave those boys a camping trip to remember.
drug addictionThis is a topic Kenny and I discussed the other night while watching news coverage of Hurricane Katrina. Kenny made what I thought was a brilliant observation. "How many of those thugs shooting from rooftops will be waiting on their check at the first of the month? I can see 'em right now, sitting by the mailbox and whining, 'Where's my check?' Kenny is correct. A LOT of people's crack-pipe today is their fucking mailbox. And the federal government sells the best dope in the world: money for nothing.
what can you say?I don't believe in the "brotherhood" of man. I've read too much history NOT to believe that some people are capable of absolutely disgusting acts. And they feel NO GUILT after doing it, either. Just look at my bloodless cunt ex-wife for one fine example. In the middle of war or disaster, you always see TWO kinds of people: the noble and the ignoble. That same scenario played out in politics over Iraq and after Hurricance Katrina. I don't think tribes is the right word to use in this story. When people band together to HELP each other instead of engaging in rape and pillage during a time of crisis, I believe that you are seeing the best we are capable of being. ``Some people became animals,'' Vasilioas Tryphonas said Sunday morning as he sipped a hot beer in Johnny White's Sports Bar on Bourbon Street. ``We became more civilized.'' I'm no socialist and I damn sure ain't no communist, but I have very deep country roots. You help your neighbor when he's in need. You welcome a stranger into the house, feed him a meal and let him sleep in the barn. You do that because it may be YOU the next time, needing help. It's really a "pay it down" way of thinking that may not apply to modern society, but it's a belief I'll never outgrow. According to some of the great philosophers I've read in my comments, I was a goddam fool to tow that lady out of the mud-bog on the dirt road to Randall's Liquor Store. I should have charged her a pile of money for doing that. After all, nobody else was around to do it. The sky was getting dark. She was frightened. I should have charged what the "free market" was worth in that situation. I'll bet that she would have paid me almost anything I asked for, maybe even a blow-job, and I could have walked away cackling, with a lot of money in my hand. I didn't do that. I got fucked-up and dirty getting her out of that mud-bog, but I pulled her out for NO CHARGE. She tried to OFFER me money, and I turned it down. I didn't do it for money. I did it because somebody needed help and I was able to provide it. I did it thinking that maybe, some fine day, another good ole boy may rescure MY MAMA the way I did that woman. And you greedy bastards who don't understand that kind of reasoning ALL need to be dragged off and shot.
September 04, 2005backpacking foodWe didn't have a lid for the pot, nor did we have time to soak the barley before we ate it that night. It was damn nearly dark when we camped. But over the years, I learned some really good stuff to take backpacking. Here's what I recommend: *Salt cured country ham. You can toast that stuff on a stick over a fire and it's good to eat all by itself. It makes excellent seasoning in anything you want to cook. And it requires NO refrigeration. *Lipton "Cup-O-Soup" with some rice and country ham. Pour the Cup-O-Soup mix into the water when you're making the rice and throw some country ham in the mixture. That's a meal fit for a king in the woods. And it's all very light to carry. *Little Debbie "Star Crunches." Just DAMN! That's the best snack food in the world when you're walking a trail all day. *Snicker's candy bars. Yes. They are good on the trail. *Bring a steak. Freeze it solid as a rock and stick it in the top of your backpack. It'll thaw out on the first day of hiking and be ready to cook that night. Hang it on a forked stick over the fire, cook the sumbitch, and then eat it while holding it with your bare hands. Nothing EVER tasted better. *MREs. They came along late in my backpacking career, but some of 'em ain't half-bad. They are light to tote and the ones with chicken or ham in them taste pretty good. I tried a "beef stroganov" once that tasted like dog shit, but the others weren't bad. Plus, some of them come in self-heating bags. You don't even need a fire for a hot meal. *Some freeze-dried food. Cop 3 always used to experiment with something he bought from Wilderness Outfitters when we went hiking. Some of it was horrible, but some of it was good. Kinda like MREs. All you have to do with that stuff is pour hot water into a bag and let it soak for a while. Presto! You've got food. Cop 3 bought a bag of dehydrated strawberrys once and they came out tasting as good as the real thing. *Trail Mix. ALWAYS carry a bag of that stuff with you. The nuts, raisins and assorted protein in there is good for you. Tastes pretty good, too. *Whiskey. Carry TWO canteens. One full of water and one full of bourbon. Drink the water when you're thirsty and sip the bourbon around the campfire at night. That's MY humble advice about backpacking.
going gamblingMy friend Kenny showed up last night, after a harrowing experience on Blue Jay Road in Effingham County. The cops pulled him over for "weaving" and put him through the grist mill. He had a case of beer in the car, plus a couple of guitars and a plastic container of boiled peanuts. The cops searched it all, then made him take a breathalyzer test, which he evidendtly passed, because he didn't go to jail. He was still upset when he arrived at my house. We talked until 3:30 AM, and he slept, snoring his ass off, on my couch last night. I don't know how this happened, but in a moment of bliss, I agreed to go out on a gambling boat with him this evening. He'll pick me up in about an hour. I'll probably lose my ass, but I'm looking forward to trying some Blackjack and some Texas Hold 'Em, both of which are played on the boat. The boat ride might be fun all by itself. But after last night, my mental faculties aren't as clear as they should be for gambling. I'm liable to fall asleep at the table. I'm too old to be doing what I did last night. I'll let you know what this venture costs me later. (UPDATE: Just damn! Kenny called and said that the boat trip this evening has been cancelled because of rough seas. Buncha pussies. Of course, that decision probably saved me a lot of money. If I went, I damn sure was gonna gamble, high seas or not.)
quote of the dayI disagree with this statement: Price "gouging" is purely in the mind of the beholder, and there's no way to distinguish between it and the necessary signals that the market must have to ensure the most efficient use of resources. The price "gougers" are (often, if not always) the people who will have incentives to satisfy market needs as quickly as possible, and ensure that the economic recovery will occur. That some people may "unfairly" take advantage of this is a price we have to pay, and it's a small one compared to the alternative.rand simberg First, I'm tired of hearing about the insulin and ice bullshit. My brother has been diabetic since infancy and he takes two shots every day. He buys insulin that DOES NOT require refrigeration. That breakthrough happened more than a dozen years ago, and it's allowed him to do things that he never could before. So, I don't want to hear any crap about somebody selling ice for $10 a bag "saving lives." That bastard is lining his wallet, that's all. I don't see anything wrong with people making a profit from ANY goods or services they offer. But I think Rand is looking at this situation too simplistically. I have no doubt that the price of plywood and shingles will rise dramatically after what Katrina did to the Gulf Coast. The price of gasoline will, too. That's fair. But gouging people is a lot different from the law of supply and demand. I agree that price-fixing by the government is a big mistake, and I don't want to see bureaucrats having those kinds of brain-farts. Making a decent profit is one thing. Unbridled greed is another. I'm damn surely no economist, but I can't see how buying a generator for $350, hauling it to the hurricane-ravaged area and then selling it for $5,000 just because someone is desperate enough to pay that price for it is morally defensible. It may be that infamous "Law of Supply and Demand," but it's still a shitty thing to do in my book.
you read it on the internetTherefore, this post must be true. I think it's an absolute bag of shit (as I ALSO write with "trembling hands"), but I'm white, so I couldn't possibly understand. The comments on that post are very interesting. Some of the comments make me want to puke, the way the post did, but they are interesting anyway. Some people are so stupid that they are downright entertaining. (Thanks to erica for the link!)
September 03, 2005camp windyOn one of my very first backpacking trips, I went with Recondo 32 and three other guys. Recondo, being an ex-LRRP and all, took some raw barley to feed us with. He swore it was excellent camping food and he used to eat it in Vietnam all the time. We walked all day long. Everybody was beat, tired and hungry by the time we found a nice place near a stream to camp. I built a fire, we pitched the barley into a pot, along with some salt-cured ham, and started it cooking. Two hours later, the barley was still crunchy in the pot. We were at an elevation of about 3,500 feet at the time. In case you didn't know this scientific fact, atmospheric pressure affects the boiling temperature of water. I'm not certain that the barley would EVER have cooked where we were. I finally said, "To hell with this," and dug myself a bowl of half-done barley from the pot. I was starving. It really wasn't bad, except for the crunch. Everybody else dug in, too, and we devoured every bit of that shit before we passed around a canteen full of liquor and crawled off to go to sleep. It was a nice place to camp. The water spilling down the creek sounded like a gentle rain. Frogs were croaking and cicaidas were singing. It was peaceful and tranquil--- until other sounds interrupted the night. BRRRFFFTTT! POOT-POOT-POOT-POOOOOOTTT!! FRAMMMPH! You never heard a case of the galloping farts like that in your life. All five of us were doing it and nobody could stop. That half-cooked barley in our bellies started percolating and we became natural gas wells. Hugh cut a really good one and received some applause from his audience. "That's a TEN!" somebody said. I farted in reply. "I give it a 9.2. It ain't a TEN unless you blow the head of your dick off and shit your pants at the same time." Nobody farted a perfect TEN that night, but we did name the place "Camp Windy."
i don't careI still say that red-headed wimmen are beautiful and they are great lovers. I let one get away that I should have hung on to. I'll regret that decision for the rest of my life. Besides--- what's NOT to like about slathering sun-screen all over your red-headed woman? Done correctly, it can be an erotic experience.
i'm a lucky manWith friends like this, who needs enemies? Yeah. Cheer me up by sending one of the ugliest cat-pictures I've ever seen. Thanks, Bill.
father timeI don't know where I got the idea for this post, but I talked to Willy about it yesterday and he added a few names to my list. Here are the names of some wimmen that I lusted after in my (and their) youth. They were hotties. They aren't as hot as they once were. Time takes its toll on everybody. But hell--- I'm an old fart now myself. I'd still do 'em if I had the chance. *Angie Dickinson Would you believe that I have kissed TWO of those wimmen? Believe it or not, but it's true. They don't look as good as they once did, but I'd kiss EVERY ONE, anywhere they wanted to be kissed, if I had the chance today. (UPDATE: I took Elizabeth Montgomery off the list. I don't want to kiss a dead person. I forgot that she was dead until I did a Google search. I stick with what I said about the rest.)
i'm not the only oneI see from reading this post that I'm not the only person who thinks watching SOMBODY ELSE get smacked in the 'nads is funny. Heh. It ain't funny when it happens to YOU--- but watching somebody else clutch his scrotum and writhe on the floor IS funny. In a perverted sort of way. What's even better is to stand over the guy, make oinking noises and ask, "Where are ya hurt, dude?" All men are swine.
i should have left it upI wrote a post last night that I deleted because I didn't want to kick up another firestorm of "racism" charges because I happened to notice that the VAST MAJORITY of looters and thugs in New Orleans were black people. You just can't SAY the obvious in this country anymore. Now I read this shit and I wish I had let the post stand. You can always bet your sweet ass that Jesse Jackson will show up to pile more crap in the outhouse whenever he gets a chance. Jackson questioned why Bush has not named blacks to top positions in the federal response to the disaster, particularly when the majority of victims remaining stranded in New Orleans are black: ``How can blacks be locked out of the leadership, and trapped in the suffering?'' Duh... New Orleans has a black mayor. The governor of Louisiana is a woman. But there's RACISM afoot here. My aching ass. I think FEMA did a rotten job of responding to this crisis, but "racism" had nothing to do with it. It was federal government inertia, combined with incompetence by the mayor and the governor. And for the Reverend Jesse to start stirring shit now is disgusting to me. That bastard needs to be dragged off and shot. If he really wants to do some good, let him go help clean up the Superdome. If he sucked as much as he blows, he could vacuum the place clean in 30 minutes.
September 02, 2005i have one questionAfter this happened to george, did you stand over him and make pig-noises, once you knew that he wasn't going to die? We always did that at football practice or at work when somebody had his cods whacked really good. It's pretty funny, as long as it's not YOU holding your cods and rolling on the ground. Yeah. That pain will put you into a fetal position. It feels even better when people are standing around oinking at you and laughing. Of course, that NEVER happened to me. I just made that shit up.
the worst i've ever seenI've been watching the news today. Some of the reports I've seen from Mississippi and Louisana make me think I'm looking at scenes from Rwanda or some other primitive, third-world country. BEJUS! The destruction is almost incomprehensible to me. Some "experts" are predicting more than 10,000 people dead in New Orleans alone. Most of the residential areas of that city are still under 20' of water. FEMA finally got moving and started to bring food, water and medicine into the area today. 600 National Guard troops showed up with automatic weapons to restore law and order. The plan seems to be to evacuate New Orleans right down to the last living person. The problem now is where to put all of those people. They've already filled the Houston Astrodome (Houstonites--- be proud of what you did) and now authorities are running out of places to put the refugees. Imagine that. We now have "refugees" in the USA. We also had gangs of looters and roving thugs who started fires and picked gun fights with the people coming to rescue them. They raped and pillaged with total abandon. Some of the tales from the Superdome are horrendous. But the thugs disappeared when troops with M-16s showed up on the street corners. I've always said that a real crisis brings out both the best and the worst in people. Just look at New Orleans and tell me I'm mistaken. (UPDATE: I just heard on the news that the thugs are at it again. They are shooting at the firefighters who came to stop New Orleans from burning. They've killed one sheriff's deputy and still are shooting from the rooftops. I hope the troops have orders to shoot to kill. I also hope that they don't miss when they train their sights on a thug. I don't want assholes like that in MY world.)
me and the water hoseBack somewhere around 1986, I was supervising Area 3 at the plant. The boys over in Chloride Finishing (which I ended up supervising years later) wanted to install a set of booster pumps and tie into a city water line that fed my Calciner cooler. I would have to shut down my calciner for the tie-in. I thunk a thought. Those booster pumps might not belong to ME, but I could use them. I talked to the contractor doing the work and asked him to replace a ninety on the discharge side of the pumps with a tee, complete with a reducing flange, a 2" outlet, a valve and a Boss fitting where I could connect a water hose. He bitched. "Rob, this is a flat-bid job. Valves cost money." I negotiated for a while and finally agreed to order the additional parts from the company store-room. I gave 'em to him, he installed them and I had exactly what I wanted. I ordered 50' of 2" hose and hooked it up. My calcincer operator was a guy named Melvin, and I asked him to help me check out my new washdown system. We did that by me grabbing the end of the hose and Melvin opening the valve for me. BEJUS! The booster pumps put out 80 PSI and that force backed me up a few steps when it first came out of the nozzle. But I could shoot water all the way to the packing area from where I stood. I could turn around and hose down the BLEACH area from 100' away. I was having a big ole time. I washed down the rafters, washed off all the tank-tops and hosed all the rust, dust and pigment from the floor into the ditch. I was one hose-wielding bad-ass. After about 20 minutes of that stuff, my hands started to get tired. I was ready to quit. If you've never held a hose with 80 pounds of water pressure going through it, you may not understand what I'm talking about. Just trust me: it's WORK! "MELVIN!" I yelled. "SHUT THE VALVE!" Melvin wasn't around anymore. He had gone off to make his rounds, take his samples and visit the lab. I figured that even if he DIDN'T stop for a cup of coffee in the lab, he wouldn't be back for another 15 minutes, minimum. I wasn't certain that I could hold that hose that long. I started yelling for help. Nobody came to my rescue. I couldn't just throw the hose down and run. That sumbitch would beat the shit out of me. I thought that MAYBE I could get to the booster pumps and close the valve myself, but that was a pretty confined space and there was no way I could do that without appearing that I had strolled through a car wash after all the water coming through that hose finished with me. I saw a structural beam with a Y-Brace on it. I jammed the business end of the hose into the slot of the "Y," stomped on it with my foot to anchor it, then ran like hell for the shutoff valve. The hose broke loose before I got to the valve, and it reared up like one of those snakes from the "Anaconda" movies. That sumbitch was whipping around as if it had a mind of its own. I got the valve closed before the bastard ate me alive, but that episode made me reconsider my brilliant idea. I ended up installing a shutoff valve on the end of the hose to keep from making operating that thing a two-man job. Even after that, I saw that hose knock grown men on their asses. But it damn surely would shoot water a long way. Sometimes, I'm too smart for my own good.
September 01, 2005vampire bruceI'm still pissed at Bruce for going to Charleston and selling ice for $10 a bag after hurricane Hugo, but I'm even more pissed with some of the reactions I got after I told that story. What kind of people are you? Just suppose that Bruce knew of a woman with a diabetic child who was out of insulin. Would you applaud him for taking a bottle of insulin to Charleston and charging her $10,000 for it? After all, if she didn't buy it, her child would die. In that situation, $10,000 is a "fair market price," isn't it? Some of you assholes seem to think that if Bruce had done that, he would have come to the child's rescue, like some kind of knight in shining armor. I think you're full of shit. Taking advantage of another person's woe is WRONG in my book. I don't give a damn about the circumstances or some asinine libertarian ideas about supply and demand. You just don't kick people when they're down. Period. To me, gougers such as Bruce are no different from the feral looters running wild in New Orleans right now. "Steal While You Can" is the motto that motivates such people. If you think that's right, I want nothing to do with you.
quote of the dayThis is the GOOD side of human nature. Watch what happens over the next week, as American aid organizations, religious groups, and willing individuals act. America’s great wealth is matched by its generosity. America is responding decisively to Katrina’s tragedy.Austin Bay Yeah. A lot of people are giving WILLINGLY of their time and money to help other people who are in a bad way. They are NOT doing that by selling 50-cent bags of ice for $10.00 a bag. Helping is noble. Gouging people in that situation is craven.
i'm no environmentalist.......but I agree with this post. We don't need any more development on the barrier islands along the coast of South Carolina or Georgia. The barrier islands have been moving for centuries. Mother Nature washes away the south end of one island and deposits the sand on the north end of the next one down. That's how you find really impressive driftwood beaches on the south end of most of those islands. People don't need to build homes there. A storm will tear the home down, or it'll wash away in a bad spring tide, and I'll end up paying FEMA for rebuilding the sumbitch that never should have been there in the first place. If you can buy an island, go right ahead. Build yourself a mansion there. But don't ask for tax dollars to build a bridge to your island and don't go whining to the government when your mansion disappears into the sea. YOU made the choice to live there, so YOU accept the consequences. I saw an interview on TV a few years ago. Some woman who lived on one of the barrier islands off North Carolina had her house sucked into the ocean during a hurricane. She wasn't worried. That was the THIRD TIME it happened to her, and the government always gave her the money to rebuild her house in the same spot. That's idiocy to me.
et tu, brute?Oh, well. I've been massively de-linked by a lot of people. Again. I don't understand why some of them did it, but it's their choice. YOU run the blog, YOU make the rules. That's life. That's politics, too, which is why I'll never go to another blog meet.
holey moleyThis absolutely terrible. I didn't think something like this could happen in the USA. But it did. On the flooded streets of New Orleans, dozens of fishermen from up to 200 miles away floated in on caravans of boats to pull residents out. I suppose some of the people who applauded Bruce the Vampire for hauling ice to Charleston for a profit of $9.50 per bag think these fishermen are crazy. I don't see why the fishermen don't behave the way Bruce did. "You need rescue? That'll be $100 or I'm leaving you where you are." It's the Law of Supply and Demand, right? Bejus! If you don't see the immorality of what Bruce did, you'd probably join the looters in New Orleans now. Get it while the getting is good. Hooray for me and fuck you. The human race really sucks sometimes.
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