Gut Rumbles

September 10, 2005

i'm depressed

My beloved Georgia Bulldogs beat South Carolina tonight (and denied the Anti-Christ himself, Steve Spurrier, a victory between the hedges), but my Dawgs didn't really impress me. Shockley is too spastic, the team commits too many stupid penalties and somebody in the SEC is gonna knock their asses off this year.

That game was WAAAAY to close to suit me. Georgia should have killed them.

I LOVE football and I've always thought that I would make a good coach, especially with young kids just learning to play. Jack's mama came to see me a couple of days ago to tell me that Jack is about to start another season of playing football and he's going to be the starting quarterback on his team.

"He never even SAW a football before you played with Jack and Quinton in your yard," she said. "Now his coach thinks he's played before. I used to watch you teaching those boys. You were good at it."

Yeah, that's me. Good at everything I try.

Except marriage. I ain't real good at that. I don't know why, but my spirit is flagging tonight. I tried to call Quinton and got the answering machine again. That threw me farther down my pit of depression. I MISS my son.

And I still believe that every boy needs a daddy, not just a child-support check in the mail. My father became my tutor and my anchor in life once I got though my idiotic teenage years. I relied on his wisdom many a time.

Who is going to do that for Quinton? Jennifer? Her latest stiff-dicked lover? That's MY goddam job and I want to do it.

I want to ask you a question. Just suppose that you "fell OUT of love" with the person you were married to. Just suppose that you were having an affair with someone else and plotting a bloodless cunt divorce.

Just suppose that your husband was diagnosed with prostate cancer at that time. Would YOU lie to his family--- people who trusted you and welcomed you into the fold like a daughter? Would YOU flaunt your adultery in front of your husband's friends? Would YOU say "have a great day" when your husband was headed to the hospital for a radical prostatectomy?

Would YOU show up late for your son's first soccer game on Saturday, missing his first goal of the season, looking like someone who's been rode hard and put up wet with dried cum in your hair? Would YOU look in your husband's truck and find a pack of diapers that HE had to wear because of incontenence and wave one around, saying, "Aw... how CUTE!"

Jennifer did all of that and more to me.

Some people believe that I'm a real sonofabitch. I'll admit that I'm capable of pissing a lot of people off. In my years at work, I fired a lot of people. I was known as a hard-ass. But I loved Jennifer. A part of me still does. I cannot imagine ANYTHING I ever did that deserved the treatment I got from her.

I'll never understand it.

I don't have that kind of cruelty in me. That woman tried to destroy me and she damn nearly succeeded. And she hasn't stopped trying for four years.

She may get her wish shortly. I haven't been feeling well for the past couple of days. I don't know what's wrong, but it's something bad. Between the vertigo and the weakness in my legs, I can barely get around anymore.

What the hell. The Dawgs won.


I hope you are going to see a doctor first chance, A-Man?!?! It is probably only your "meanness" get'n to ya'....... Hope you feel better, dude.

Posted by: Captain Harley on September 10, 2005 10:10 PM

damn! now i feel like an insensitive turd...i emailed you about minutae. sorry. i don't know jennifer, but for all that sh*t she's done, i hate her too. i don't know you either obviously, but i think you f*cking rock!

Posted by: erica on September 10, 2005 10:17 PM

My stomach clenches when I hear a story like yours. I never cease to be amazed at the depth of cold-bloodedness some people seem to display and the ease with which they do so. I don't know how they live with themselves.

I hope you feel better a mindless movie...don't discount the power of a good laugh now and then.

ENDORPHINS: Can't live [well] without 'em!

P.S. Last I heard, it takes two to make a marriage...

Posted by: A Nonny Mouse on September 10, 2005 10:47 PM

Keep the faith--I expect no less from you. I referred today to Albuquerque and the other person actually said, "Albuquerque, New Mexico?" So I said, "Hold on. There's a NEW Mexico?" (yes, I got my response from Monty Burns) The point is, we only get to see so much and then it's blank forever. See all of yours, A-man.

Posted by: Chris on September 10, 2005 10:52 PM

Sometimes a team that's supposed to be good will play to the level of their opponent. This is not a good thing. I think it's a self discipline thing, but what the hell do I know.

Posted by: StinKerr on September 11, 2005 12:05 AM

Can I suggest that you move on and stop thinking about this woman, she don't sound worth it. Staying bitter seems like it's doing you no good and in a way helps her to win. What would really piss her off is knowing that you had forgot her and were leading a happy and contented life.

Posted by: Dave on September 11, 2005 04:07 AM

Cheer up, buddy. The Dawgs won.

Posted by: Eddie on September 11, 2005 05:18 AM

Georgia never seems to play well against South Carolina but usually seems to win. I was impressed by how hard SC played - I think Spurrier will surprise some folks this year - maybe those bastards at Florida.

I don't know what it is with these bitches. My ex threw me out into the street after I suffered a brain injury in a car crash. I couldn't work - she, of course took all the money and the apartment - so I had to live in my car for awhile. At least she left me alone afterwards, though.

Go Dawgs.

Posted by: Juan Paxety on September 11, 2005 08:29 AM

I think it's time to man-up and find something that makes you maybe getting back to the business of making that recording of your songs for us. Anything to keep you from thinking about Jennifer.

As for football, I think this is going to be one crazy season, what with Texas Christian beating Oklahoma, Rutgers nearly stomping Illinois last weekend...and then there was all the uncharacteristic beatings this w/e. My Buckeyes played their hearts out against Texas (for the first time) last night, but lost by a nose. Still, I was proud of them. It's just that those Texas boys came to play and they played some real tough football. Great game in the end.

Posted by: marcl on September 11, 2005 10:08 AM

What Dave said! If she knows that you are lonesome and depressed over her, the bitch WINS! There is a fine line between love and hate. Indifference is what will truly get to her. When you are so content with your life that the only care you have for her is due to the fact that she is Quinton's mother you will be the winner. I know it is not a win/lose situation but I think you get my drift. Also, would you consider medical treatment for your depression?

Posted by: Robin on September 11, 2005 11:00 AM


I don't know you, but I love your writing. As someone who has fought with the black dog and all for 30+ years, hang in there.

This too will pass. And your son WILL return to you.

I promise.

Posted by: cabinboy on September 11, 2005 11:27 AM

I'm such an empath. Maybe that's why I've been so depressed and dizzy in the last couple of days as well. I urge you to try taking a high dose Vitamin B complex to treat the vertigo and leg weakness. Check the label - it should be giving you like 1000% of the vitamins and make you piss orange. If that doesn't help in a few days, call the fucking doctor you stubborn fool. You could just be having a reaction to the meds for the prostate. If you drop dead in the meantime, the bitch wins.

The best revenge is living well and you owe it to your kids to take care of yourself.

Posted by: Libby on September 11, 2005 01:49 PM

PS: Also try eating bananas. You could have a potassium deficiency. That's another likely culprit, especially for those of us who like to drink.

Posted by: Libby on September 11, 2005 01:53 PM

Rob: been there, done that. At least I never reproduced. The only thing the bitch could get in that case was ...everything!I left with my clothes, about half of my sci-fi collection (many were classics from the 30's on up) and my TV.House? What house? Oh, the one I used to own with her? Went to her, and later, her boyfriend was added to the deed. And I was supposed to pay alimony too. I refused. The dunning letters from the State stopped coming a few years back. Maybe she got married. I don't give a f*ck. She will never get a cent from me. A house we paid $78,000 for in 1980, half mile from a DC Metro station, hmmm... going for well over a half mil these days. It was a damn nice house.F*ck her. I can't even find out if she sold it. I don't f*ckin care. Since then I've been living literally in bargain Basements, cheap-ass holes in the ground with several floors of idiots above me, on a small salary, with very little to my name. But I'm free of her. Physically. Like Rob, I still love the whore, and always will. She was the One and no other romance I'll get into (yeah right) will ever take that place.Bitch.At least now I have 4 computers, the latest a hot-rod I built myself (as I do all my comps) and can waste my time playing with several flavors of M$ windows and Linux. I spend my time trying to learn all I can about networking & such. More entertaining than listening to abuse and invective. Main problem: my teacher (me) is an ignorant so-and-so. LOL!Mostly, I avoid meeting women (we have the same trouble discerning a flower in the outhouse it seems) and fooling around looking at blogs like this. And a damn fine blog it is!If I get attached again, someone should cut my throat while I'm not looking.Math ain't my strong suit. I don't remember how many lines Rob said was enough. If I went over your guidelines with this, I apologize Rob.

Posted by: Horrabin on September 11, 2005 08:25 PM
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