Gut Rumbles

September 27, 2005

sleep patterns

If anybody's been paying attention to the times on my posts, you might notice something strange. I blog at odd hours anymore.

There's a perfectly good reason for that. I've been VERY sick for quite a while now and the nights became something I feared. I don't think there's a worse curse in the world than insomnia when everybody else in the world is sleeping blissfully. I got tired of waking up in the dark at 3:00 AM and not being able to go back to sleep.

So... I decided to fool my body clock. I'd take a long nap during the day and STAY UP until 3:00 AM. Hell--- it was just like working shiftwork. That way, I had to sleep only three or four hours before daylight.

My plan worked too well. I probably sleep 12 hours a day now, but I do it all in brief naps. If I sleep four hours straight, no matter what time of day, I think I've really accomplished something.

There's a blog-meet in Helen, Georgia, this weekend and I would like to go to mend some broken fences with some friends. But I'm not gonna make it. I wanted to go to the grocery store today, but I walked outside and fell down in my yard after another brownout. I had to crawl back into my house. I was afraid to drive after that.

I've been pooting around with my home recording system. Pooting around is about as far as I get. I can't force the power plugs into the surge protector. That's how goddam weak I am. I'm thinking about taking a hammer and seeing if I can POUND the goddam plugs in.

I've always been virile, active and athletic all my life. At the age of 50, I could still walk the young bucks into the ground on the stairs at work. Now, my legs wobble, I'm weak as a kitten and I can't eat ANYTHING. I couldn't make it up a flight of stairs if my life depended on it. I've lost 45 pounds in the last year. I do good to make it to my mailbox and back.

I actually started to call my daughter tonight and ask her if she would come stay with me for a couple of weeks if I bought her a plane ticket. I need a caretaker. And a chauffer. I don't trust myself to drive a car anymore.

Other than those minor problems, everything is bright and sunny in my life.


Is there a reason that you will not go to the doctor? There are a few good doctors in Savannah. Would you like a couple of names? Or maybe you are just going to wait until one of your episodes happens in a place where 911 will be summoned and you will be transported to an ER?

Posted by: Patsy on September 27, 2005 05:52 AM

If you don't get your shit together, you're gonna die. No great loss to the world in general, but there are some of us who'll miss you. Go see a doctor.

Posted by: John Stephens on September 27, 2005 06:48 AM

Lack of sustenance = weak.

Call the damn drug store and have them deliver some liquid Ensure ...hold your nose and drink it down.

Posted by: Maggie on September 27, 2005 07:31 AM

One of the few people I love, my Dad, just turned 73. I've seen a vital man turn week and amble on unsure legs. He still smokes a pack or more a day and I fear he won't be around forever like when when I was a kid.

The last time he had a physical was in 1958. What the fuck is wrong with you people? If you won't go to the doctor for yourself, go for the people that love you! Is not knowing that fucking important to you?

Posted by: Ed on September 27, 2005 08:10 AM

Even a Georgia redneck would go to the doctor...IF he had his shit in one sock. When you get to the pearly gates even St Peter is going to tell you you are a dumb MF for showing up early. I hope he makes you wait outside until your appointed time.
Rob, you are being a dumbass. You're tossing away the only thing you REALLY have, your damn life on earth.

Posted by: robert on September 27, 2005 08:20 AM

No mention of going to the doc though, A-Man. Whats up with that? I really, really wish you'd get taken care of. I'd miss your cranky ass too much if something awful happened.

Posted by: Amy on September 27, 2005 08:43 AM

Your a stubborn ole mule! How many times you gonna give us your little pity party and make us all feel bad (I actually been praying for you) - we all beg you to go to the doctor and you just stick your nose up at us??? I hope your daughter boxes your ears and forces you to finally do something!!! Your pissing me off!!

Posted by: Anastasia on September 27, 2005 09:20 AM

Take care of yourself, you ornery shit. You're not allowed to die till I meet you, and shake your hand. And that don't include in your pine box neither.

Posted by: og on September 27, 2005 10:03 AM

Looks like a good old fashioned kidnapping, followed by a delivery to the nearest ER, is in order.

Unless Rob prefers to let himself wither and die. I mean, it's his life and his prerogative, after all. No business of ours to tell him what to do.

But if Rob needs motivation to do the right thing, he can think of the feelings of his family, friends and fans. That, and does he really want to make the BC happy by croaking early?

(Below the belt, I know. Sometimes drastic measures are required.)

Posted by: V-Man on September 27, 2005 10:06 AM

I'm with V-Man. Think of your kids. Do you really want them to lose you now? You said yourself that you're proud you and Sam are getting along better and that she wants to be like you. And I think there are good things waiting somewhere in the future for you and Quinton. You HAVE to stick around just to urk the BC every chance you get! Don't be stubborn MALE! ["Wimmen" may get the "vapors" now and then, but MEN are often stubborn when there's absolutely no advantage to being so bull-headed.]

Posted by: Jane on September 27, 2005 10:21 AM

You said you wanted to go to Australia - HTF are you going to manage that if you can't even get to the shops?


If only for the sake of your children! You know how much pain losing parents causes! How do you think they'll feel if you have something wrong that could have been prevented?

Posted by: Misty on September 27, 2005 10:45 AM

What all of the above said. I hit your blog several times daily and I'll sure miss you when you go. I hope Sam is reading this stuff and gets her fanny over there and gets you to a quack, quick! If you let yourself keep getting weaker you make the odds of whatever it is getting fixed go off the scale. If I lived close enough for my old car to make it I'd come fetch you myself, dammit. To use another Southernism-you're as stubborn as a mule eatin' briers. I know it's fearsome placing yourself in the hands of doctors; but what can they do to you now that's worse than what you're going through now?

Posted by: Stu on September 27, 2005 11:07 AM

Rob, I sent you an email. I work at Memorial. Read it and respond, please.

Posted by: Heather on September 27, 2005 11:14 AM

Posted by: Kelly on September 27, 2005 11:47 AM

Getting old sucks no matter how old you are when you get there. Always make us think that if we had taken better care of ourselves we would be in better shape. But then again if we had taken better care of ourselves we might have got run over by a gotdam truck while we out jogging. Do kind of hate the thoughts of you lazing around and croaking. Gotdam man, I need your links just keep my blog goin! Ain't I a selfish ole fart?

Posted by: GUYK on September 27, 2005 12:10 PM

I hate having to fuck with my blogroll template and I don't want to have to do it because you up and died because you wouldn't drag your stubborn ass to the doc.

Posted by: Noodles on September 27, 2005 12:46 PM

What Og said? Dat's what I say, too.

Get your skinny ass to a doctor, Rob. You're fuckin' with the Big Sleep, here. Don't deprive your children of your presence - and don't deprive the rest of us of your insight and ranting.

Posted by: Elisson on September 27, 2005 01:07 PM

You need to go see a doctor. If you want my help, you will have to put some effort into helping yourself. I don't know how many times I've told you OVER and OVER to go see a doctor. You may think they don't know anything, but they know more than you do and if you really want to feel better and make everyone that CARES ABOUT YOU feel better, you'll go see one. There are people offering you give you names of good doctors in the area. Take them up on it and FIND ONE YOU LIKE! Yeah, they may just "give you another pill" but that pill may the be one to cure your problem.

I'll call you this week and check on you. PLEASE CALL A DOCTOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by: Sam on September 27, 2005 01:09 PM

There was a time I would have taken care of you.

Posted by: livey on September 27, 2005 01:14 PM

I won't be kind about this, but you're tough enough to handle it.

My father has been going downhill for quite some time. He has been to see THE BEST neurologists in Houston, Texas in THE MEDICAL CENTER. He has been on drugs, you name it.

You know who takes the brunt of it? ME and my mother, that's the fuck who. WE have to take care of him, stress like you would not believe, worry about him being alone and everything.

Thing is, it's not his fault. He has tried everything.

Thing is, this is YOUR FAULT and you are going to be a complete asshole and fuckwad if you do that to those who love you.

On a lighter note, you want to know what has helped him the most? It was when he got home health in 5 days a week - 3 days are for physical therapy and 2 days are for a nurse.

That stubborn old motherfucker is now walking without his cane or walker - something he hasn't been able to do in over 6 months.

You go right the fuck on and shrivel up and die. I don't know you from adam, but Sam and Quinton do. If you do this to them, then you are WORSE then the BC in my book - far worse.

Posted by: Surfie on September 27, 2005 02:15 PM

What everyone else said above...I'd miss your blog, but you're a cranky enough old fart that I don't expect you to listen to all of the moaning about that kind of crap.

How about this: If you don't have the strength to plug in the guitar cords, you certainly can't strum the guitar either. What happens if you never record anything? Aren't YOU going to miss that?

Posted by: JJW on September 27, 2005 02:32 PM

Ditto. Get your cranky ass to the Dr's.

Posted by: Maeve on September 27, 2005 02:43 PM

Are you afraid your expiration date might be coming due? Fer cryin' out loud, man, go have a physical!

Posted by: BC on September 27, 2005 03:08 PM

Rob --
I have nothing to add to the advice of dozens of people who have commented already.

I think it's time to see a doc, Bro.

Posted by: Jim -PRS on September 27, 2005 04:55 PM

Mr. Smith, I am twice as mediophobic (Is that a word? It is now.) as you are, and anything more clinical than a barbershop gives me the jim-jams, but if I had half your symptoms I would be leaving skid marks all the way to my nearest urgent care facility.
If you won't do it for yourself do it for your children. Do you want them to remember you as a gutless blowhard afraid of some pillroller? If nothing else do enough to get your ass to Helen, make amends, and go out on your feet like a man.

Posted by: JohnW on September 27, 2005 09:26 PM

Is there a way to get a court order or somethin' in Jawja to have his ass dragged off (to a hospital) and shot (up with whatever they figure out will help him out)?
Just sayin', is all.

Posted by: Horrabin on September 27, 2005 09:54 PM

Fuck going to the doctor. Get Catfish to throw you in his car and drive your ass up to Helen. Some partying, picking and grinning, and V-Man's artillery punch is all you really need.

Posted by: Denny on September 27, 2005 10:40 PM

And if Catfish won't take you, Buckaroo Bonsai and I arrive at Atlanta Hartfield at 1:40 p.m. and are renting a car. If you want to hitch a ride, email me.

Posted by: Omnibus Driver on September 27, 2005 11:12 PM

Quit telling us what you would do, were you not all discombobulated. You have a magnificent forum to apologize to your friends here, and you won't use it. Fuck going to Helen. If you can't step up to the plate in your own comments, why do you think anyone would give a fuck?

And, BTW, go see a doctor. We care, we just don't give a fuck.

Posted by: Velociman on September 27, 2005 11:44 PM

Okay, now you know how much everyone WUVS wittle Wob. Go to the doctor or don't. Fucking drama queen.

Posted by: Ronnie on September 28, 2005 04:55 PM
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