Gut Rumbles

September 28, 2005


When I go to a casino, I stick with two games. I play Blackjack and Texas Hold-Em. I don't poke money into slot machines and I don't know enough about the craps table to feel comfortable betting my money there. I play what I know.

If you stay long enough in a casino, you're gonna lose money. If that weren't the case, casinos wouldn't be in business. Understand that fact when you walk in the door.

Most slot machines are set to pay at about 10% less than the money pumped into them. You may get hot and win every now and then, but if that ever happens, take your coins and leave. If you keep feeding money into that machine, it will eat you in the long run.

Blackjack is a game with about a 2% house vigorish, and you're not going to do much better than that in a casino. The house advantage comes from dealing the cards and playing last. The dealer hits on sixteen and stands on seventeen. Most of the vigorish depends on players going bust before the dealer ever looks at his bottom card.

Some people call that game "21" and they are all losers. I call it "Beat the Dealer," and I've done well at it a few times in the past.

There's nothing racist about it, either.


The difference between winning at blackjack and making money at blackjack, is balls. If you have them, and push your bets, you'll make some good coin. If not, you'll break even at best.

A great way to learn how to play blackjack is on a low-limit table, like $5 or $10. If you can make a few hundred there, you'll make a whole hell of a lot more at the big tables.

Posted by: Mr. Lion on September 28, 2005 11:27 AM

And everyone who attended the wrekyl in jekyl knows you can play!

Posted by: Michele on September 28, 2005 12:58 PM

If you play good Basic Strategy you can knock the house advantage down to about one half of one percent. That's if the dealer is not cheating by pulling seconds, from the bottom, etc. What, you might ask? The dealers cheat? Hell yes, they do. You have to watch for that too.

A way to shift the odds to your favor to the tune of about one to two percent is to count the cards. It's not that difficult on a one or two deck table. Learn the parameters of the count, get a deck of cards and go through them by dealing them face up on the table. If you did it right youíll end up with zero. Keep doing it until you can fly through the cards and then add another deck and go through it until you end up with zero and you can fly through the cards. If you spend a couple of two hour sessions doing this and learn Basic Strategy, learn to bet so as to not call too much attention, and be patient, youíll pull down some good money.

Oh yeah, stay sober too.

Thatís usually where I screw it up.

Posted by: Daniel Medley on September 28, 2005 01:16 PM

PS That's $11,000.00 and change, not $11.00 and change.

Posted by: Terry on September 28, 2005 03:23 PM

What a retard. What do porno films and prostates have to do with playing cards? Reading ("How-to" books), maybe.
The trolls are getting restless.

Posted by: Horrabin on September 28, 2005 07:14 PM

If you stay long enough in a casino, you're gonna lose money. If that weren't the case, casinos wouldn't be in business. Understand that fact when you walk in the door.

That, and don't ever bet money you can't afford to lose, and you're good to go.

It's amazing how many people don't know that.

Posted by: rosignol on September 28, 2005 11:43 PM

When I won the money in Costa Rica, we were playing with a five-deck mix run through an automatic shuffler. The cards were dealt out of a "shoe" (and if you gamble, I assume you know what that is)

Anybody who can count cards in that situation is a lot smarter than I am.

Posted by: Acidman on September 29, 2005 09:58 AM
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