Gut Rumbles

September 27, 2005

it's happened to me twice

Yes, friends, I have been abducted by aliens twice in my life. I most definitely was probed, especially in the wallet, and my recollection of those events make me break out in a cold sweat to this day.

The first alien was named Debbie. The second one was named Jennifer. I married both of them and I am at a loss to explain why. I think I was brainwashed, or zapped by some alien ray-gun. Nobody in their right mind would have done what I did.

In fact, researchers have found that the abductees believe in their experiences to the point that they exhibit the same stress symptoms other victims of traumatic events display.

Trust me. Marrying an alien IS a traumatic stress event.


... heh heh.... I'm married to a legal alien.... scary stuff...

Posted by: Eric on September 27, 2005 08:06 AM

Bullshit! There are legion of us who have done it. I'm on my third. But then, I'm a slow learner.

It's not a ray gun (or a Larry gun, or a Stan gun) - it's a CUNT gun.


Posted by: DrugStore Cowboy on September 27, 2005 08:50 AM

I reckon a man thinks with his dick more times than he does with his head and my dick ain't never has a whole lot of sense.

Posted by: GUYK on September 27, 2005 09:00 AM

Getting married period is a traumatic stress event ... I think ALL American men should be entitled to free, lifetime medical care if they are dumb enough to do it, especially in this legalistic day and age.

Let the feminists die alone and unloved, surrounded by cats.

Posted by: maggot on September 27, 2005 01:16 PM

then the cats will eat their corpses and there will be no trace of their existence except a pile of teeth on the floor after the bones have long since turned to dust... the only thing more poetic would be for GUYK to meander into the room, whistling some love song from the radio and his hands lazily tucked into his jeans, and casually kick the pile of teeth with an agile flick of his shoe and they scatter like pebbles along the hardwood floor and do a back-alley-craps-game carom off a couple walls leaving skip marks of their paths through the bone dust of long-dead feminists.

Posted by: kirche on September 27, 2005 03:30 PM

Are the aliens clones?
I got 2 of 'em during my travels, sounds like the same ones Rob was dazed by. Dunno about ray-guns, but something's up with them.
The second one lives in my (greatly higher-valued after all these years) ex-house. Only house I ever (once) owned.
Both came complete with (unknown to me) lovers and agendas.
I'd a made out better becoming a priest.
If I was Catholic.

Posted by: Horrabin on September 27, 2005 10:23 PM
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