January 28, 2012

dreams

Originally published October 11, 2003

I dream vividly, in technicolor.

I dream about having wanton sex, I dream about snakes and I dream about being able to spread my arms and fly. I dream about showing up at work nekkid. (Being NEKKID doesn't bother me because I look damn good nekkid, and I've walked around with no clothes on many times in Key West. I am disturbed by that dream because I can't wear my safety equipment.) I dream about falling when I can't spread my arms and fly.

I've had a recurring dream for as far back as I can remember about falling from the rigging of an old sailing ship into a dark, angry, roiling sea. I started having that dream when I was a boy in Kentucky and the ocean was 500 miles away. I woke up screaming back then.

I've had that dream so often that it doesn't frighten me anymore. When I dream it now, I KNOW that I'm dreaming and I KNOW what's going to happen. I just kinda go along for the ride, then wake up when I hit the water. I simply think, "There it was again."

I had some new-age, crystal-gazer tell me that the dream was a glimpse at how I died once in a previous life. I think "The Highwayman" is a great song and I would LOVE to believe in reincarnation, but I don't. I believe that I simply have a vivid imagination and once, long ago, I saw something that triggered the image of an old sailing ship in a storm at night, with me falling from the rigging. I've dreamed about it ever since.

What the hell. Maybe she was right. Maybe I AM on my second or third or 500th go-around in life.

If so, I damn sure didn't learn much from my previous experience.

January 21, 2012

abc quiz

Originally published October 10, 2003

ABC Quiz

A-ACT YOUR AGE: 51
B-BOYFRIEND: I don't swing that way, but I am full of non-gay love for Recondo 32.
C-CHORE YOU HATE: Cleaning my house.
D-DAD'S NAME: Robert
E-ESSENTIAL MAKE UP ITEM: Flowers and a bottle of wine. You WERE talking about making up after a fight, weren't you?
F-FAVE ACTRESS: Kathy Bates.
G-GOLD OR SILVER: Gold
H-HOMETOWN: Rincon, Georgia.
I-INSTRUMENTS YOU PLAY: Guitar, mandolin, bass guitar, autoharp and half-assed banjo.
J-JOB TITLE: Production Coordinator.
K-KIDS: Two, Samantha and Quinton, one from each of my two marriages.
L-LIVING ARRANGEMENTS: The Crackerbox. Three bedrooms, two full baths and a filthy kitchen. Nobody here but me except on special occasions.
M-MOM'S NAME: Elva.
N-# OF WIMMEN YOU'VE SLEPT WITH: Around 100, give or take a few. I cut a wide swath during my guitar playing days.
O-OVERNIGHT HOSPITAL STAYS: One. And I never want to do it again.
P-PHOBIA: Heights scare the shit out of me because I suffer severe vertigo.
Q-QUOTE YOU LIKE: "Fill your hand, you son of a bitch!"
R-RELIGIOUS AFFILIATION: Athiest.
S-SIBLINGS: One damn good brother.
T-TIME YOU WAKE UP: 0400 if I wake up on my own, and 0430 if my alarm clock catches me. I seldom sleep much later on the weekends when I don't HAVE to get up. I hate that.
U-UNIQUE HABIT: I like to blog nekkid.
V-VEGETABLE YOU REFUSE TO EAT: I've never met a vegetable that I refused to eat. I'll eat almost anything.
W-WORST HABIT: Drinking, smoking, cussing, womanizing, procrastinating, gambling, and eating lots of fast foods. You name a bad habit, I've got it.
X-X-RAYS YOU'VE HAD: Several dozen, plus radiation treatments. I glow in the dark sometimes.
Y-YUMMY FOOD YOU MAKE: Bacon, eggs and grits.
Z-ZODIAC SIGN: Aquarius.

That's better than a Friday Five, isn't it?

January 14, 2012

just thinking

Originally published October 9, 2004

I watched a couple of ironheads at work today installing a hoist on an I-beam about 150 feet off the ground. They were tied off and wearing harnesses, but they didn't worry about falling. Their harness ropes stayed slack the entire time. They walked the beam, passed tools to each other and ate lunch up there on that narrow piece of steel. When they were finished eating, one of them laid down on his back on the beam and took a nap while the other one stood up to watch a big container ship sail down the Savannah River.

Those crazy bastards. I would have shit my pants up there.

I suppose your comfort zone depends on what you KNOW. When I ran the acid plant at work, that place scared a lot of people. I wasn't frightened of it, even though I was well aware of the dangers, but I KNEW what I was doing there. Those ironheads I watched today probably felt the same way about working at high altitude. They KNEW what they were doing.

I become frightened today when I realize that I DON'T know what I'm doing. I don't run into that situation often anymore after living 51 years, but it happens sometimes.

Today marks my two-year anniversary of my prostate surgery. That frightened me because I wasn't sure about what I was doing. Yes, October 9, 2001 is a day I will remember for the rest of my life. I wasn't really frightened then, but I've never been the same since. I was simply reconciled when I had the surgery, then I railed against the repercussions for a long time afterward.

But it wasn't like crawling a beam 150'above the ground and doing grunt work.

It was just a passing bad time. I am over that now.

January 07, 2012

the children

Originally published October 9, 2003

I got this delusional view of the world from a child today. At least I HOPE it was from a child. It may have been from a typical Californian.

My science teacher said to find information on the webv about engergy. Why do you want to make eclectric from coal. Coal is bad way to do it. Acid rain is very harmful to the environment. Acid rain damages everything over a period of time because it makes the living things in the environment die. Acid rain affects the life in the water as well as the life on land. It is almost worse in water than on land because the fish that are in the water need the water to breathe. When the water gets polluted, then the fish get sick and end up dying. Please write back to say why you think it is a good idea.Thank you Jason.

Jason, I hope with all my heart that someday you'll stop listening to the shit being pounded into your brain and learn to think for yourself. I don't have a lot of hope for you, because your all-wise and all-knowing teachers haven't taught you to write, punctuate or spell, but they've made you a farking EXPERT on the evils of coal burning power plants. Somebody needs to SLAP your mama and daddy for allowing that crime to occur. That that's what Public brainwashing School is all about today, isn't it?.

Jason, I have a homework assignment for you. Search the web. Go to "Google" and plug in BACT. If that doesn't give you a lot of sources, try BEST AVAILABLE CONTROL TECHNOLOGY. Then get back with me on acid rain and the evils of coal-burning power plants.

Jason, there is no excuse for being ignorant. You CHOOSE that path if you are easily led. You are listening to people who cut figures out of construction paper and made a college degree out of it. I've worked in a chemical plant for 24 years. Jason, who do YOU think really knows what's going on?

Jason, I don't know how old you are, but I would like to talk to you some more. Write me at my email address on this page. Ask me any question you want and I'll answer the ones I can. If I can't answer, I'll point you to a place where you can find the answers. If you don't write me, I'll write YOU.

We'll talk about coal and boilers and generators and scrubbers. After that, you'll be thrown out of school for DARING to challenge your dumbass teacher with facts about coal and boilers and generators and scrubbers. Well, face it, Jason.

If your teacher WANTED you to know facts, he/she wouldn't be pumping your head full of bullshit at such an early age.