September 27, 2005
Thanks to BOB:
A filthy rich North Carolinaman decided that he wanted to throw a
party and invited all of his buddies and neighbors. He also invited
Leroy, the only redneck in the neighborhood.
He held the party around the pool in the backyard of his mansion.
Leroy was having a good time drinking, dancing, eating shrimp, oysters and BBQ and flirting with all the women.
At the height of the party, the host said, "I have a 10ft man-eating
gator in my pool and I'll give a million dollars to anyone who has
the nerve to jump in."
The words were barely out of his mouth when there was a loud splash
and everyone turned around and saw Leroy in the pool!
Leroy was fighting the gator and kicking its ass! Leroy was jabbing
the gator in the eyes with his thumbs, throwing punches, head butts
and choke holds, biting the gator on the tail and flipping the gator
through the air like some kind of Judo Instructor.
The water was churning and splashing everywhere. Both Leroy and the
gator were screaming and raising hell. Finally Leroy strangled the
gator and let it float to the top like a dime store goldfish. Leroy
then slowly climbed out of the pool. Everybody was just staring at him in disbelief.
Finally the host says, "Well, Leroy, I reckon I owe you a million
"No, that's okay. I don't want it," said Leroy.
The rich man said, "Man, I have to give you something. You won the
bet. How about half a million bucks then?"
"No thanks. I don't want it," answered Leroy.
The host said, "Come on, I insist on giving you something. That was
amazing. How about a new Porsche and a Rolex and some stock options?"
Again Leroy said no.
Confused, the rich man asked, "Well, Leroy, then what do you want?"
Leroy said, "I want the name of the sumbitch who pushed me in the pool.
Thanks. That's the most I've laughed since watching Bill Murry put away the bear on Letterman last night.
Thanks, bung-hole...you made me laugh out loud and wake up the kids. Now I have to talk to them.
That pool party was in my old neighborhood! It's a true story. I was there and SAW who pushed Leroy in. Of course, no one can tell.