Gut Rumbles

October 16, 2009

My refridgerator

Originally published June 27, 2004

I started to master the use of my new carpet cleaner today, but I stopped to make a plan first. The more I planned, the more daunting the task ahead seemed to be, so took a time out to watch a golf tournament on TV. Yeah, an ordinary observer might BELIEVE that I was sprawled on the couch like a rotting potato, but my mind was working HARD the entire time.

I decided to sneak up on the big carpet-cleaning job by practicing on something smaller and easier to accomplish. I decided to clean out my refrigerator. Bejus! I didn't think that kind of foolish thought when I was falling off the deep end a few months ago. I must have been saner then than I am now.

Let me tell you about what I found in my refrigerator...... No, I'm not going to do that. Unless you are an EMS professional or a Haz-Mat Incident Commander, you probably couldn't stomach the gory details. I shared this guy's thoughts.

And speaking of things in the fridge . . .

There's something sort of greenish in a plastic bag with lots of condensation on it here. I am afraid to get any closer, but there's always the get-a-stick-and-poke-at-it-from-a-safe-distance ploy.

Oh but remember how badly that went in the original (1958) Steve McQueen classic, The Blob? As is the case in so many preventable disasters, some idiot with a stick poked at the thing and of course it slimed right on up the stick and got on his arm.

I believe that I might be better off if I just bought a new refrigerator and started over. There is a LOT of mysterious shit in MY fridge right now that could devour the Blob and never even burp afterward. I don't know what it is, I don't know how long it's been there, but it ain't pretty.

I've got to do some more planning....

(Link via this guy. No "hat tip," but credit where credit is due.)

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