Gut Rumbles

October 14, 2009

All my children

Originally published June 27, 2004

I've called Quinton several times this weekend but, as usual, all I get is the answering machine. "Hi! You've reached Jennifer and Quinton. We can't come to the phone right now, but if you'll leave a message, we'll call you back as quickly as we can. Have a GREAT day!" I want to puke every time I hear that message. I don't know where Quinton is or what he is doing. And the LAST thing Jennifer wants in life is for me to have a "great day." So much for "joint custody" under the divorce laws in Georgia.

My daughter is coming to visit next weekend. I'll take Samantha and Stacey out to eat or take them fishing--- whatever they want to do--- while they're here. I had a rough time with Samantha when she was going through her tumultuous teenage years, but she's straightened up and flown pretty well the past couple of years. Stacey has been a very good influence on Sam.

Have I mentioned before that my daughter is gay? Yeah, I thought I did. Samantha isn't ashamed of that fact and neither am I. My mama and my grandmother agree, which is something I believed that I never would live to see. But we all love Sam and we just want her to be happy. Stacey makes her happy, and that's good enough for us.

But I've got to admit--- I'm kinda 0-for-2 in the daddy department. I believe that both of my children love me, but I've missed a lot of their lives. I wish that I could go back and do a lot of things over again, but you get only one shot in life and if you fuck that one up, you live with the consequences. I fucked up being a father.

Samantha is a beautiful and talented young woman. Quinton is going to be a fine figure of a man. I love them both.

But I'll probably always do it from a distance.

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