Gut Rumbles

September 27, 2008

the stare

Originally PUBLISHED May 3,2005

Some of the comments on my post about Southern Comfort mentioned Yukon Jack, too. I've never tasted Yukon Jack, but I'm pretty sure that it must be a lot like Southern Comfort. You know... one of them sneaky liquors that will ambush you if you're not careful, stab you in the belly and peel the scalp right off your head, leaving you feeling like a dead carcass the next day.

The subject of Yukon Jack came up at the Georgia Writer's Conference. That was one of the few libations we didn't have stocked at the bar in my room. Jim, of parkway rest stop mentioned that he likes to drink at his local VFW bar and some of the regulars in there suck Yukon Jack like mama's milk from a warm titty.

They do that for a couple of hours and develop "The Stare."

Jim described it perfectly. The Stare happens when someone is completely shit-faced but doesn't realize it yet. The eyeballs no longer focus and peripheal vision shrinks to the size of a pin-prick. If you try to talk to them, you become distracted by two things.

First, they seem to be winking at you as they try to figure out if closing one eye makes them see any better. Second, they finally give up on the monocular vision idea and just STARE, with both eyes open and both eyes resembling fresh oysters on the half-shell.

I've seen that stare before. Hell, I've HAD IT MYSELF, just not from Yukon Jack. We had several people develop the stare at the blog-meet late at night. For once in my life, I wasn't one of them.

But you've seen "The Stare," haven't you?

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