Gut Rumbles

September 23, 2008

fakin' it

Originally PUBLISHED August 11, 2005

I can tell the difference between a fake orgasm and a real one when I bed a woman. I've had a lot of practice at this.

The moans and groans don't mean anything. Wimmen learn to do that stuff early in life just to make YOU feel good. (See the movie: When Harry Met Sally) But the REAL THING is easily discovered if you know what to look for.

1) She will blush red across her chest. Don't ask me why, but wimmen do that when they have an orgasm.

2) Muscular spasms. Maybe some wimmen can fake that, but not many. It's like an epleptic siezure with joy mixed in. That's when you just hold on and enjoy the ride.

3) Afterglow. A woman who feels royally fucked, after MULIIPLE ORGASMS, will cuddle and coo at you. You don't get that unless you pulled their bell rope well.

Of course, I'm just making this shit up. I'm still a virgin.

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