Gut Rumbles

June 08, 2008

Tall wimmen

Originally published November 3, 2003

I've always been short (or "vertically challenged" if that's the correct term now) and I think I'm shrinking fast. I am one inch shorter now than I was at this time one year ago, according to my last physical. At this current rate of dimunition, I'll disappear altogether in five years.

I didn't mind being the shortest guy at the blog-fest. I've always been short, so I am accustomed to having other guys tower over me. I've never taken a back seat to tall guys just because they were tall, and I proved that fact on the football field when I was young. I proved it in a few bar-fights, too. I may be little, but I am LOUD.

But I'm either shrinking faster than I think, or wimmen are getting taller. If you saw a picture of me standing between Georgia and Angie, I would look like a goddam munchkin. Just Damn! Those are tall wimmen. I think they both share Viking blood in their veins.

Kelley is small and petite, except for her bosomal area, which is quite impressive. But she is SHORTER than I am. I could lean down to kiss her. If I wanted to kiss Georgia or Angie, I would have to take a run-and-go and shinny up a leg to get where I wanted to be. That sucks.

I am going to buy some elevator shoes.

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