Gut Rumbles

April 24, 2008

Silver hair

Originally published August 17, 2003

I had my hair cut yesterday morning.

I let it grow long for a while so that it was curly and wild. It really looked like Fido's ass after I wore a hard hat at work and sweated my ass off all day. I thought about putting it back into a pony tail the way I did about a year ago. But I remembered that I resembled an old hippie when I did that, so I just had my hair cut short instead.

I watched all those long, silver locks falling onto the barber's apron and I suddenly felt very old. I asked my tonsorial goddess if she could dye my hair (I also told her that I was violently allergic to henna) and she said that she could, but asked me why I wanted to do such a thing.

"I LOVE that salt-and-pepper look on a man," she said. I looked at the apron and saw a lot more salt than pepper. I suppose I should be delighted that I still have hair at all. Most men in my family were bald before they were 30. I have hair, but it's all gray silver now.

I think I may color my hair the next time I go to the barber shop.

I have an artificial dick already. Putting a little color in my hair is nothing compared to that.

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