Gut Rumbles

February 24, 2008

Bore blogs

Originally published April 15, 2003

* I changed the battery in my truck in the middle of a rainstorm in the Wal-Mart parking lot last week. I left the old battery in the bed of my truck. It's been banging around back there like a wild caribou in heat every time I turned a corner for almost a week now. I took it out of my truck bed today. I got my hands dirty. I went inside to wash my hands and left the battery in the driveway.

* While I was washing my hands, I noticed that my house was dirty. I decided to blog.

* I noticed tonight that my back door hasn't been locked since Saturday. I may lock it tomorrow.

* I got up to do something, then went to find my reading glasses. I walked by a mirror and saw that I was wearing them. I was happy to find my glasses on my face. They weren't lost after all. I was.

* I don't have to be where I usually am in the morning until an hour later than I usually get there. Should I reset my alarm clock? If I do, I'll just have to reset it AGAIN tomorrow. I'm really confused about how to handle this problem.

* Think about the UGLIEST PERSON YOU EVER SAW. I can top whatever you came up with. That's one of the real detriments about living in a tourist town. Some really ugly people come here. I was taking a seminar at a tourist hotel. I saw a lot of ugly people during my breaks. Do ugly people have more money than pretty people? Just wonderin'.

* When they turned me upside-down by hand in that training class today, I liked it. But I don't like roller coasters. Why am I that convoluted in my thinking? I am a sick man.

* I don't want to be President of the United States. If I were, I would lobby for a recall vote, then veto it if it ever came to pass. THAT'LL fuck 'em up! Bwhahaha!

* I don't sleep much anymore, but I want to go to bed now. When I DID sleep a lot, I tried my best to stay awake as long I could. Those were the days. Now I go to bed early, wake up in the mornings and stay awake whether I want to or not. I TOLD you that I am confused.

* I'm bored now.

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