Gut Rumbles

February 24, 2008

Foods I like that most people don't

Originally published July 10, 2003

Yeah, I eat this stuff regularly and it's never even made me sick, let alone killed me:

Raw Oysters! I love the salty, marshy, seafood taste of a raw oyster when I crack one and suck it down my throat. You don't chew those things. You just swallow and enjoy the aftertaste.

Raw Eggs! I like to crack three of four in a glass, whip them up with some salt, pepper and Tabasco Sauce and drink them in one or two big gulps. That's a breakfast of Champions.

Sweaty Wimmen!
Never mind. I'm not going there tonight.

Raw Hamburger Meat!
Okay, I'll cook the outside a little bit, but I like the middle raw. Cow's blood tastes good to me.

Garden Tomatoes! I like to pick 'em, wipe 'em off on my shirt sleeve and eat them like apples. I enjoy the juice running off my chin.

Sourgrass! If you don't know what that is, I can't explain it.

Hot-Assed Barbecued Pork! Ribs, butts, sidemeat or chops. I like it when I break a sweat eating it while it falls apart on my plate.

Sardines in a Can! Find yourself on a fishing trip when you're hungry enough to eat raw skunk and discover that sardines in a can are all you've got to eat. They are delicious in the right time and place. You'll lick the juice off the lid and drink the gut-oil out of the tin when that's all there is.

Cold Pork & Beans Right out of the Can! It's ambrosia when you're out of sardines.

Shit. I'm gonna stop now. I think the wookie-pills are getting to me.

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