Gut Rumbles

February 04, 2008

Will work for food

Originally published December 20, 2003

I saw one of those con-men on the street near Oglethorpe Mall one day when I was living in southside Savannah. He was holding the sign, "WILL WORK FOR FOOD" and I pulled over. He walked up to my car. I was not surprised by what happened next.

"I need my grass cut," I said. "I'll feed you a steak dinner if you'll do that for me, and you can use my lawn mower and my gas. When you're finished with the job and finished with your meal, I'll drive you anywhere you want to go."

"Um... could you, like, spare a couple of dollars?" he replied.

"WHAT? I thought you're standing here offering to work for food. I'm offering you food to do a job. Isn't that what your sign says?"

"Yeah, man... but I really could use a couple of dollars. I've got a wife and kids." He put an especially pitiful-looking expression on his face.

"Okay," I said. "Tell me where your wife and kids are and I'll feed them ALL, right after you cut my grass. I'll even let you take the leftover food with you so the young'uns will have something to eat tomorrow."

"Can't you just spare a couple of bucks? That's all I'm asking. A couple of bucks."

I didn't give the panhandling bastard a dime. He didn't want to work for food. He was making a pretty fair income begging on the side of the road. Why the fuck should HE work? He had plenty of people such as the dickhead I linked below GIVING him money and goods for doing nothing except appearing pitiful.

The Savannah police arrested the guy for some minor offense a week or so later and the truth came out. He was fleecing compassionate people for almost $500 per week running his con and he NEVER WORKED FOR FOOD.

My aching ass. Some people really do fall off turnip trucks every day.

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