Gut Rumbles

February 01, 2008

Going parking

Originally published December 18, 2003

I'm an old fart now and I don't hang around a lot of teenagers. I wonder where they go on dates now to see how many bases they can cover? When I was a teenager, we had drive-in movies, which was a perfect place to fog up the windows and make out on the weekends. I also knew about a couple of prime parking places behind Memorial Stadium and on the Bacon Park Archery range.

Have you ever been laid in a car?

A bed is much nicer, but there's just something raw and exciting that I remember about screwing in a car. Maybe I remember those experiences so well because sex was new and slightly dangerous at the time, or maybe I'm seeing it all through the rose-colored glasses of nostalgia. Either way, I recall some of the best sex of my life happening on the seats of a 1968 Javelin. (The seats reclined. It was nice.)

As a student of human nature, I know full well that teenagers today are doing pretty much the same thing I did when I was young. He-ing and she-ing is going to happen when you combine horny young men with curious young wimmen. I just wonder where they go to do it anymore.

I'll bet that if I were a teenager in Effingham County today, I would know LOTS of good places to park in the woods around here.

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