Gut Rumbles

January 31, 2008

Weight loss

Originally published December 17, 2003

Obesity is the new boogie-man that lawyers wish to exploit to enrich themselves save mankind from itself. I firmly believe that "saving mankind from itself" is a totally futile cause, and I especially believe that going after obesity as somebody else's fault is the wrong way to attack.

The theiving bastards holy jihadis got away with the shakedown of tobacco companies, because smokers are a minority in this country and the tobacco companies caved under pressure from the government. I don't believe that extorting large sums of cash from McDonald's and Wendy's will be as easy.

Do you know how you get fat? It's a really simple process. You stuff your pie-hole with more calories than your body burns every day. That's it. Wanna lose weight? Eat less and exercise. This ain't rocket science.

And it damn sure ain't the fault of McDonald's or Burger King if you sit on your double-wide ass and stuff your pie-hole with junk every day. That's YOUR FAULT.

Anti-smokers would love to see R.J. Reynolds and Phillip Morris go belly-up. They HATE cigarettes and they outnumber the smokers in this country. But do fat people REALLY want to bankrupt KFC and Burger King? I don't think so. Get twelve fat people on a jury trying one of those idiotic lawsuits against fast-food companies. You know what's going to happen when the lawyer pleads his case? He is going to make those people HUNGRY, that's what.

Goddam. They'll eat THE LAWYER before the trial is finished.

Maybe it's easy for me to take this stance, because I am not fat. I don't eat a lot, but I eat whatever I want when I want it. I've maintained the same weight for 25 years now. If I can do it, anybody can.

Of course, if it was easy, any asshole could do it.

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