Gut Rumbles

January 02, 2007

Pride or prejudice?

Originally published August 2, 2005

Here is a list of ten things that I simply WOULD NOT DO, on general principle, under ANY circumstances.

#1-- Accept a blow-job from Jane Fonda. I depise the woman and I respect my dick more than that.

#2-- Shake Michael Moore's hand. I watched Farenheight 9/11 last night, and that was one of the most purile pieces of propaganda I've ever seen. It wasn't even GOOD propaganda. Six years-olds are smart enough to see through the shit he filmed.

#3-- Vote for Hillary Clinton. Forget it. NEVER! Not for any office, ever. And I DAMNED sure don't want a blow-job from HER! I think she's the Antichrist.

#4-- Apologize for our military being in Iraq. We don't know how many American lives were saved by us occupying the terrorists over there instead of giving them a chance to attack us here. We never WILL know, but I'm satisfied that we did the right thing.

#5-- Say ANYTHING except "Fuck Jimmy Carter" every time he opens his possum-grinning mouth for the rest of his life. And, yeah, PJ--- there's an "alleged" Southerner who still has all of his teeth. I don't want to be anything like him.

#6-- Give up the guns I don't own. That's all I'm gonna say about that, because it could get me in trouble.

#7-- Live in the north. I just couldn't do it. I'm allergic to snow and I don't like most yankees I've met.

#8-- Own a cat. Sorry, folks. I tried that a couple of times and the cat and I just didn't get along.

#9-- Get married again. I wonder why not? Let's see... how about losing more money than most people see in their lives, TWO houses and some brand-new BMWs for divorce-court lawyers, while everybody else ran away with my money and left me broke? No... two doses of that is enough for me.

#10-- Change the way I blog. I read a person the other day who complained about "internecine blogging" in certain circles. Maybe he was talking about me. If so, I fall back on something I've been saying for years. If you don't have a cast-iron ass, you shouldn't be blogging. If you can't handle heat, get out of the kitchen. Not EVERYBODY is going to LOVE you on the internet.

Those are my thoughts and you can take them or leave them. But that's the philosophy I live by today.

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