Gut Rumbles
 

August 02, 2005

pride or prejudice?

Here is a list of ten things that I simply WOULD NOT DO, on general principle, under ANY circumstances.

#1-- Accept a blow-job from Jane Fonda. I depise the woman and I respect my dick more than that.

#2-- Shake Michael Moore's hand. I watched Farenheight 9/11 last night, and that was one of the most purile pieces of propaganda I've ever seen. It wasn't even GOOD propaganda. Six years-olds are smart enough to see through the shit he filmed.

#3-- Vote for Hillary Clinton. Forget it. NEVER! Not for any office, ever. And I DAMNED sure don't want a blow-job from HER! I think she's the Antichrist.

#4-- Apologize for our military being in Iraq. We don't know how many American lives were saved by us occupying the terrorists over there instead of giving them a chance to attack us here. We never WILL know, but I'm satisfied that we did the right thing.

#5-- Say ANYTHING except "Fuck Jimmy Carter" every time he opens his possum-grinning mouth for the rest of his life. And, yeah, PJ--- there's an "alleged" Southerner who still has all of his teeth. I don't want to be anything like him.

#6-- Give up the guns I don't own. That's all I'm gonna say about that, because it could get me in trouble.

#7-- Live in the north. I just couldn't do it. I'm allergic to snow and I don't like most yankees I've met.

#8-- Own a cat. Sorry, folks. I tried that a couple of times and the cat and I just didn't get along.

#9-- Get married again. I wonder why not? Let's see... how about losing more money than most people see in their lives, TWO houses and some brand-new BMWs for divorce-court lawyers, while everybody else ran away with my money and left me broke? No... two doses of that is enough for me.

#10-- Change the way I blog. I read a person the other day who complained about "internecine blogging" in certain circles. Maybe he was talking about me. If so, I fall back on something I've been saying for years. If you don't have a cast-iron ass, you shouldn't be blogging. If you can't handle heat, get out of the kitchen. Not EVERYBODY is going to LOVE you on the internet.

Those are my thoughts and you can take them or leave them. But that's the philosophy I live by today.

Comments

Yankees aren't all bad. At least those who haven't forgotten what it is to be an American. You know, the ones who still say: "We say Grace, and we say Ma'am, and if you don't like it, we don't give a damn."

Posted by: unclejuju on August 2, 2005 03:09 PM

Whoa....

On #7 and #8 I have a bone to pick...

I live in north and I am with you on the snow (it blows)

But we "Yanks" as you like to call us (although ALL Americans are referred to as YANKS across the sea) well just you southern GITS, some are good, some are assholes....

As far as the cats go...I spent Saturday evening in the animal hospital ER (an hour away from my one horse town) getting treatment for my orange cat named "Thomas" who was deathly ill with a urinary tract infection and blockage....THREE HUNDRED dollars and four hours later, we were out the door with two prescriptions and special food to help acidify his urine......

And he aint a bad cat! He purred the entire time, sounded like a little motorboat!

So there!

And I will have you know, Mr Thomas is feeling much better and has a follow up appt with his regular vet on the 13th......

Dont paint all Yanks and all cats with the same broad brush Acidman...

Posted by: Ruth on August 2, 2005 03:36 PM

All but #8. Cats are just the opposite of liberals..

And in Colorado the snow is great.

Also know some Yankees I like and some rednecks I don't like

Posted by: TomR on August 2, 2005 03:54 PM

Regarding #2 , I've read that, in France (where else), all school children are required to watch that flick.

Posted by: Jim Long on August 2, 2005 04:03 PM

Re: #2 and #5, let's just say I'm glad I didn't have anything throwable in reach when I saw Michael Moore sitting in box seats with Jimmah at the DNC ... may have saved me from having to buy a new TV.

Posted by: Scott Crawford on August 2, 2005 04:29 PM

internecine blogging? WTF that means deadly or internal conflict. The only internal conflict I see here or have had is with a fucking troll. I guess if this is what he means then yeah, there are some of us that practise internecine blogging. Fuck him, sound like a troll.

Posted by: GUYK on August 2, 2005 04:37 PM

Since I am a girl, #1 doesn't apply but if I WAS a guy, I would totally agree. Same goes with the second part of #3, but the first part, I totally agree. I will quit voting before I have to vote for "THAT".

The rest is right on except # 8. I used to not like cats very much. I am a dog person, but I found a stray who is the sweetest. So, I have changed my mind on that., but then as I told you in an email...I am the typical tree hugger..animal lover...kiss a whale type person...oh well..guess everyone needs a weekness.

But most of these....I totally agree. Michael Moore...phew...gag...spit.!!!!!

Posted by: Chrissy on August 2, 2005 04:39 PM

In my early comment I meant "weakness" ...not "weekness"....duh me.

That is what I get for hurrying but after all, I am at work...shame on me!!

Love your blog!

Posted by: chrissy on August 2, 2005 04:42 PM

You ain't allergic to snow you old cracker! Besides, you get used to it. It's especially nice when you get up in the morning to go to work and the snowplows have an 8 foot snow berm at the end of your driveway and you can't get to work.

Posted by: Alaska Kim on August 2, 2005 04:50 PM

I'm with you, Kim. Snow days are the BEST! My mom has retired to Alabama and she laughs her arse off every time it snows there...She says the whole town freaks out and everything comes to a complete standstill whenever there's even a dusting. Here we don't fret unless we hear the words "lake effect" and anything over "18 inches".

Posted by: Jane on August 2, 2005 05:38 PM

Your ignorant is truly profound. The terrorists who attacked on 9/11 were Saudi Arabians. Followers of bin Laden.

Iraq was not. Any enemies fighting occpying forces in Iraq were manufactured by invading that country. It's not like their temporarily diverted from attacking crackerboxes in the south.

You watch too many movies.

The rest of your list is stupid childish nonsense no doubt of great amusement to your idle followers.

You really need to get a job, or something constructive to do. Go join Jimmah and build houses for the poor.

Posted by: bingo on August 2, 2005 05:46 PM

This is why I come here, I agree with the A-man waaay too much. All except for the married part, I want to get married. And I live in the North, but want desperately to move south. Put the plow head on my truck and drive straight down until people ask me what it is and then I'll stop. ;)

Posted by: Alli on August 2, 2005 05:52 PM

Bugger...

I had something really relevant and funny to say about snow and pussies until I read the comments...

Lost it now...

It's late here...

g'night

Posted by: Misty on August 2, 2005 06:29 PM

Re: #4
George Bush pretends he supports a "culture of life." But he launched an unnecessary war (denounced by the Pope as "unjust") and did it on a lie. 1800 US soldiers are dead. 75-80k are wounded. 100,000 innocent Iraqis, many of them children are dead. For what? They did not attack the USA. Those guys were al-Qaeda, based in Saudi Arabia.

How stupid can you be?

Posted by: Reggie on August 2, 2005 06:44 PM

Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, same old spew by haters Bingo and Reggie. Never heard of you. I assume you came up with your points by yourself...well I'll bet someone else said them first. And they were lies then. Don't like what Rob posts? Go away.

I don't listen to the Pope, so I sure won't listen to you.

Scott G

Posted by: Scott G on August 2, 2005 07:00 PM

Al-qaeda is not based in Saudi Arabia you dolt, that is where the religion that spawned the hate teaching sect of Islam,the Wahabi Sect got it's roots. Al-qaeda was based in Afganistan. We are fighting a war on TERRORISTS/WAHABI EXTREMISTS not just Al-qaeda. If you think Saddam Hussein had nothing to do with those people you are sadly mistaken.

Posted by: gravdigr on August 2, 2005 07:11 PM

Pappy,

I wrote about internecine blog warfare a couple of days ago, but it wasn't in reference to you. I don't think you and I have ever had a blogwar.

- D

Posted by: Donnie on August 2, 2005 07:18 PM

I believe that I am down with all of them except #7. I suspect that you would have a hard of time getting used to bone-chilling weather as I would getting used to the blistering heat (although we have more than our fair share of that in Jersey). As for Yankees, I know a couple busloads who you would like just fine, even though we "too-walk" funny.

Posted by: Jim - PRS on August 2, 2005 07:45 PM

We haven't Donnie, and I see no cause for us ever to engage in such a worthless activity.

Posted by: Acidman on August 2, 2005 08:06 PM

WAHABI--that's the bloke that poked your wife, right?
After, I mean, he did your mother.

Posted by: James on August 2, 2005 08:27 PM

Nope. The only worthless activity I'm interested in is drinking beer. And it's arguable whether or not that's worthless :-)

Posted by: Donnie on August 2, 2005 08:45 PM

re #1, how about bukkake? And a camera to record the event for posterity?

C'mon Rob, that'd be worth the price of admission, no? (Plus you get a free blowjob out of it.)

Posted by: Desert Cat on August 2, 2005 09:52 PM

I agree on #3 though. NOthing would be worth that. Plus I'd be all too likely to end up as Vince Foster.

Posted by: Desert Cat on August 2, 2005 09:53 PM

Rob--

Re: # 4

A few asides first . . . (uh, gravdigr--I see you get your info directly from the MSM Rob loves to hate. But then, Rob reads other blogs--but they agree with MSM too. Hmmm . . . And Scott G makes it evident he doesn't listen to much at all).

Ok, sorry Rob . . . What I wrote to say is that I fully admit defeat--you are correct.

I am long winded and anything but succinct . . . you said in three sentences tonight, what I have spent hundreds (thousands, maybe?) of sentences over two years trying to say--

You don't know much of anything about why we went to war, but you are satisifed we did the right thing.

Yep--that was all I tried to say, and you nailed it in three of your own simple sentences. Got-damn!

Impressive! I tip my hat to ya. You da Man!

Posted by: jb on August 2, 2005 11:16 PM

I take exception to the passing up of a blowjob from either. I don't care. "The worst I ever had was wonderful"......(thank you Brother Dave Gardner.)
Besides, it's probably the only thing those two can do that's of any value at all, short of dropping dead.

Posted by: James Hooker, Ace of aces on August 2, 2005 11:35 PM

Why, why, WHY did you watch anything created by Michael Moore? I'd rather pull my eyelashes out one at a time. The man is a overbearing, overinflated ego-driven freak.

I have steadfastly refused to view any of his "documentaries" so far and don't have any plans to change my mind.

And no, I'm not a die-hard Bush fanatic, either.

Posted by: Trish on August 3, 2005 02:12 AM


"I'd rather pull my eyelashes out one at a time.
The man is a overbearing, overinflated ego-driven freak."
-Trish

Sounds like you are describing Acidbrain there Trish. And by the way, why would anyone give a flying fuck if you pulled all your eyelashes out? Go for it ya freaky ass gash.

PJ

Posted by: PJ on August 3, 2005 04:08 AM


#4-- Apologize for our military being in Iraq. We don't know how many American lives were saved by us occupying the terrorists over there instead of giving them a chance to attack us here. We never WILL know, but I'm satisfied that we did the right thing.
-Acidman

"We are fighting a war on TERRORISTS/WAHABI EXTREMISTS not just Al-qaeda. If you think Saddam Hussein had nothing to do with those people you are sadly mistaken."
-gravdigr


Since the whole fucking world now knows that there was NO CONNECTION between Saddam Hussein and Al Qaeda (proven in the 9/11 commission report with even an admission by the Bush administration), please let us ALL know where you get YOUR information. Perhaps the Whitehouse and the CIA might want to know about YOUR sources. Hopefully Acidbrain and gravdigr could explain to us what terrorists they are referring to that existed in Iraq prior to our invasion. You guys are just a newfound wealth of information that the rest of the world obviously hasn't known about. Please tell us.

PJ

Posted by: PJ on August 3, 2005 04:25 AM

Here ya go pajamas.

"In August 1998, the detainee traveled to Pakistan with a member of Iraqi Intelligence for the purpose of blowing up the Pakistan, United States and British embassies with chemical mortars."

U.S. government "Summary of Evidence" for an Iraqi member of al Qaeda detained at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba

http://www.weeklystandard.com/Content/Public/Articles/000/000/005/804yqqnr.asp

Posted by: gravdigr on August 3, 2005 11:28 AM

"#8-- Own a cat. Sorry, folks. I tried that a couple of times and the cat and I just didn't get along."

Cats are just like women, A-man. They require "give and take" in a relationship, and like their independence sometimes. I like them because they can take care of themselves mostly, but when they curl up on your lap purring, you know they love you.

"#7-- Live in the north. I just couldn't do it. I'm allergic to snow and I don't like most yankees I've met."

A-man, you just haven't lived until you come in to your warm home on a cold, snowy night and snuggled up for warmth with the one you love. It's a good excuse every time.


Posted by: Suz on August 3, 2005 12:24 PM

rob
don't kill cats send them all to asia
there are a lot of hungry people over
there.

Posted by: john on August 3, 2005 07:56 PM


"Here ya go pajamas.

"In August 1998, the detainee traveled to Pakistan with a member of Iraqi Intelligence for the purpose of blowing up the Pakistan, United States and British embassies with chemical mortars."

U.S. government "Summary of Evidence" for an Iraqi member of al Qaeda detained at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba"
-gravdigr


Dude, you are about as far behind as behind gets. All that right wing propaganda bullshit has been disproven already and at last count, 63% of the nation now believes that the Iraq war was not worth it. The tide is turning against Bush's so called reasoning for fighting the terrorists in Iraq. The whole damn world is finally realizing that the Iraq war is only creating more terrorists, not helping to eliminate them. You need to pull your head out and face the facts.

PJ

Posted by: PJ on August 5, 2005 03:34 AM


"#2-- Shake Michael Moore's hand. I watched Farenheight 9/11 last night, and that was one of the most purile pieces of propaganda I've ever seen. It wasn't even GOOD propaganda. Six years-olds are smart enough to see through the shit he filmed."
-Acidman

Since the majority of the film is actual footage and recorded comments by the members of the Bush administration, then I am curious how you found this to be purile pieces of propaganda Acidbrain. Please explain what parts you found to be UNTRUE. I would love to hear.

PJ

Posted by: PJ on August 5, 2005 03:39 AM
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