Gut Rumbles

May 03, 2006

dumb quiz

I shamelessly ripped this one off from this guy, who is "beautiful, in a manly way, of course." (Hmmm... reminds me of ME.) I'm gonna answer the questions just because, like most bloggers, I love talking about myself.

Deathís Door A-Z

Accent: Southern, although this guy recently accused me of the henious crime of "enunciation," whatever the hell THAT is.

Booze: I'll pass, thank you. Just give me a club soda with a slice of lime. I'm allergic to alcohol. It makes me break out in a bad case of the asshead.

Chore I hate: Cleaning my filthy kitchen. Someone recently surveyed my humble abode and said, "Rob, you need a wife." I replied, "No, they're too expensive. I need a maid. They're a lot less costly in the long run, and they go the fuck home when they're finished cleaning."

Dog or cat: What a dumb question.

Essential electronics: My computer, TV, and stereo.

Favorite Cologne: I don't wear cologne. I sometimes apply some Old Spice after shave to my handsome face after a razor-cut, but only rarely. I've discovered that regular use of soap and water in the shower removes the need for cologne. I prefer to radiate a natural, manly scent.

Gold or Silver: Either one. Gold is great and silver is super.

Hometown: The teeming metropolis of Rincon, Georgia.

Insomnia: I seldom have insomnia anymore, but when I first got out of rehab, sleeping AT ALL was a bitch. Got-dam! I thought that I was going crazy there for a while. Maybe I did.

Job Title: Man of leisure.

Kids: Two. One daughter, one son.

Living Arrangements: It's a packed house: Me, myself and I.

Most admirable traits: Steadfast loyalty to my good friends, the courage to stand up for what I believe and a good sense of humor.

Not going to cop to: If I answer THAT question, I've copped to something, haven't I? I call bullshit! Next question...

Overnight hospital stays: Far too many, all of 'em within the last five years.

Phobias: I have a visceral, mind-boggling fear of snakes. I sometimes have snake nightmares and wake up in a cold sweat. I also cannot stand heights, although I think that's more from dizzying vertigo than fear.

Quote: "If it was easy, any asshole could do it." That's what my daddy always said when I whined about how difficult something was to do. That's a great quote on so many different levels and remembering it has served me well in life.

Religion: Rock-ribbed athiest.

Siblings: One--- a brother.

Time I wake up: Whenever I feel like it. Being a man of leisure is goooood!

Unusual talent or skill: I can poke a ten-dollar bill through a raw potato. No shit, I can. Give me a sawbuck and I'll PROVE it, as long as I get to keep the $10 when I'm done. If I CAN'T do it, I'll pay YOU ten dollars.

Vegetable I love: Homegrown tomatoes. Fried okra, too.

Worst habit: Smoking

X-rays: So many that I glow in the dark today.

Yummy foods I make: Too numerous to list. I'll put my oyster stew up against anybody's--- it's DAMN GOOD. Taste my broiled shrimp stuffed with crab meat and you'll slap your mama. I also make barbecued (pork) spare ribs that will melt in your mouth. I grill a mean steak, too--- and if you ask for yours "well done," I'll shove your face into a bed of glowing charcol for suggesting that I ruin a good piece of meat. I LOVE to cook.

Zodiac sign: Aquarius. Just like two of my great heroes: Babe Ruth and Yoko Ono Ronald Reagan.

There you have it: A dumb quiz, A to Z.


how about giving out youe recipe for oyster stew?

Posted by: oldduffy on May 3, 2006 11:53 AM

I could do that, oldduffy, but then I'd have to kill you...

Posted by: Acidman on May 3, 2006 11:57 AM

I have been fortunate to have put on a bbq at the Reagan Ranch for some of the crew of the U.S.S. Reagan. They have a big section of the Berlin wall up there (in the barn) I am dying to see.
Prez Reagan didn't go up to the ranch to sit on his ass.......He built things at a late age that would tax a much younger man.

Posted by: Wes Jackson on May 3, 2006 12:56 PM

I need it....the Viagra is not working.

Posted by: oldduffy on May 3, 2006 01:42 PM

Dammit. I wish I'd known about your potato and $10 trick. I'd have brought a potato to Austin. Next time. I'll have one with me!

Posted by: Bou on May 3, 2006 09:23 PM

*Heinous*, English major. Not *henious.* I mean, since you're being so good about your *howevers.* :p

Posted by: k on May 4, 2006 02:16 PM
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