Gut Rumbles

October 28, 2011

the weather

Originally published September 21, 2003

The sky has been overcast all day today. Last week was a beauty, with eye-busting azure skies, low humidity and highs in the lower 80s. I felt the first breath of fall in the air when I went to work in the mornings. I love it when the summer blast-furnace creeps away and cooler weather slips in behind. It's still hot, but not at all like it was for the past four months.

My lawn is beginning to look like a legitimate lawn. I spread $130 worth of centipede grass seed out there when I first moved in and nothing but weeds grew, no matter how long I ran the sprinklers. We got a lot of rain this year, and that unnoticed grass seed really took off. I have genuine grass growing all over the place now. It looks good.

The nights are dipping into the 60s and I'm starting to plan a camping trip. Jennifer from across the street wants to go with me. She is Jack's mama and she likes to fish. I told her last weekend that she is welcome if she wants to go with me and the boys. I have a tent that sleeps four, and it might be fun to put a little estrogen into the mix. Maybe I can charm her britches off, too.

There I go, thinking dirty again. EXCUSE ME! But she ain't a bad-looking woman.

I really enjoy camping. I am one hell of a campfire cook and I make delicious meals over open flames. I also like to play my guitar and sing around the fire at night. I like to tell scary stories, too, when the moon is high and the woods are dark. I usually have the boys trembling in their boots by the time I am finished with one of my tales. I just make the stories up as I go, but the boys LOVE having the shit scared out of them, and I make up some pretty impressive crap. I surprise myself sometimes. Quinton has crawled into MY sleeping bag more than once at night after hearing a good horror story. The BC once suggested that I write children's books because I am so good at telling stories that kids like to hear. I may do that some day.

But I'm not certain that "The Man With the Crazy Eyes," "The Monster From the Bottom of the Lake," or "What Was That In the Woods?" will really attract a lot of publishers. Little kids like those stories. I know.

Wouldn't it be a hoot to see Acidman writing books for children?

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