Gut Rumbles

January 29, 2010

That was fun

Originally published June 3, 2004

I no longer have an abcessed tooth. In fact, I never really had one to begin with. The tooth is perfectly healthy, with no cavities. It's just fit as a fiddle.

But my gums are not. I have an advanced case of gum disease in spite of brushing, flossing and using peroxide in my mouth as part of a daily routine. The dentist examined me, listened to my complaints and took a couple of X-rays. After that, he grabbed some sort of tool off his tray, told me to hold still and he cut me, right above that tooth that was driving me crazy. I could feel all sorts of blood and corruption draining into my mouth.

Believe it or not, but it was a GOOD feeling. All the pressure went away from my left eyeball and I felt almost human again. That's when the dentist began pressing strong fingers against my sinus cavities and attempting to break every bone in my face. "Ow, doc! That HURTS!" I whined.

"Yeah, and it smells like a dead cat in there, too." he replied. He kept mugging me until he was satisfied with the results. "You can rinse and spit now."

Bejus! I don't want to talk about what came out of me. Just imagine squeezing the biggest pimple you ever had in your life and seeing the results come out of your mouth. It was disgusting. It was humiliating. It was horrible.

But it was one hell of a relief, too.

I feel a lot better now. I DON'T feel good about the fact that I'm probably going to have to do this again or lose my teeth in a few years, or both. Gum disease is no laughing matter and that's another complaint I have with God. If I were omnipotent, I would have made better gums than God did.

Going to the dentist delayed my lawyer appointment until tomorrow. That's a good thing, because the swelling is gone and I can talk to him with a straight face now.

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