January 10, 2010

Conservative blogger

Originally published August 28, 2004

A lot of people group my blog in with the "conservative" wing of blogdom. I am not a feces-flinging leftist, but I do not consider myself to be a conservative. I once preferred the Reagan form of Republicanism over what the left had to offer, and I saw a clear line in the sand back then. But the winds of change have obscured that line and I can't see it anymore.

How can anyone call me a conservative when I like to go to Florida and walk around nekkid for a week? Get a baboon suntan on my ass and let people take pictures of me wearing nothing but a sarong? I don't believe that Jerry Falwell would approve of my behavior. Hell, my mama doesn't either, but she gave up on trying to change me a long time ago.

I believe that the war on drugs should be called off as a lost cause. I believe that ANYBODY who wants to amend the Constitution for ANYTHING should be dragged off and shot. I believe that prostitution and gambling should be legal. I disapprove of abortion from a personal standpoint, but I KNOW that no government will ever stop it from happening, so let's be reasonable about it. Abortion is not an all or nothing issue, no matter what shrieking feminists say.

I believe in holding people responsible for their own actions. I DO NOT believe that government is the answer to every problem on the face of the planet, because I read history and government is RESPONSIBLE for most of the problems it desperately wants to "solve" today. Just give them more of your money and they'll fix the problem this time.

Unlike a lot of other people, I know that government can't "give" anything to anybody that it hasn't taken from someone else first. I disobey laws that I believe are stupid all the time, but I am willing to pay the price if I am caught. I make my OWN goddam decisions. I am a free man.

I will not be a slave to government, even though that's what government expects and that's what a lot of idiots DEMAND today. I am one of the few people who dare to suggest that the Unholy Trinity of American History were Abe Lincoln, Franklin Roosevelt and Lyndon Johnson. All three wiped their asses on the US Constitution and people PRAISED them for doing so.

As I've said before--- some people are just too stupid to live free. And if THAT'S a "conservative" attitude, then I need to listen to your definition of a conservative.