Gut Rumbles

August 28, 2008


Originally published March 5, 2005

My flag blew down off my porch again. March is coming in like a lion and the wind has been fierce.

My goddam speakers quit working on my computer today and I don't know why (I'll research that problem later-- maybe tomorrow). Meanwhile, I'll just enjoy the Sound of Silence from my PC.

My digital camera is sick. It says it can't format a disk anymore, so I can't take any pictures until I either have the disk drive repaired or buy a memory stick for the damned thing, which costs almost as much as the camera did. I may just say to hell with it and buy another fucking camera. Maybe tomorrow.

I came home from Hospice today and smelled rotting garbage in my house. This was no olfactory illusion, either; it was the real thing. I tracked it down to a piece of uncooked catfish I threw in the kitchen trash can about two days ago. It was getting ripe. I took out the garbage and burned a couple of insense sticks to camouflage the smell.

Two basketballs and most of my lawn furniture are in my neighbor's yard now. I TOLD you that the wind was fierce. I'll go pick them up later. Maybe tomorrow. Hell, he knows who that shit belongs to.

I thought about doing my income taxes today, but I couldn't locate my calculator. I figured that was the perfect excuse not to do that onerous task. I think the feds are going to screw me blind this year. Maybe I'll look at that crap tomorrow.

I bought a six pack of Bass Ale and I almost never found the church key to pry the lid off the first bottle. I finally located it in the dishwasher, just about the time I was getting desperate and thinking about using the edge of the kitchen counter to pop the lid off, the way I did when I was in college. Jack's sisters must have put it there a week ago.

My truck needs an oil change, but I don't feel like crawling under the sumbitch and doing that today. Maybe tomorrow.

"Maybe tomorrow." That's my motto today.

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