Gut Rumbles

June 23, 2008


Originally PUBLISHED June 16, 2005

I have to agree with THIS POST. I got more pussy with a guitar than I ever did with money. Back in the 1970s, if you played on stage, it was easy to get laid. YOU didn't have to seduce wimmen. THEY wanted to seduce YOU, which in my case wasn't a difficult task.

I remember waking up in bed one morning with a school-teacher after a night of delightful frolic. She laid her head on my chest and said, "I"ve always dreamed about doing this."

I wasn't certain what she meant, so I asked her to explicate. "I've always wanted to go home with a guy in the band and then ball his brains out," she replied. My response? "Darlin,' do you have any OTHER fantasies you'd like to explore?" She was a sexy wench.

I thought about this for years, and I'm pretty sure what causes that attraction now. Wimmen are hormonal creatures and studies have shown that a male singing voice makes them produce phermones that are like opium in the brain. They start to feel real good and become aroused.

Second, just look at a guitar. It's a phallic instrument. Watch some guy running his hand up and down that long, stiff neck while he wears the double-round part around his waist. That is very suggestive of a well-hung man with a set of big nuts. It's all symbolic, but wimmen are sensitive creatures and they pick up on those signals. They get horny and they want to get laid.

Men are all swine (I'll admit that) because we think with the little head instead of the big one sometimes. But men don't go completely out of their minds when they visit a strip club. Wimmen DO when they see a musician they like.

Fairer sex, my ass. I know better.

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