Gut Rumbles

June 16, 2005


I have to agree with this post. I got more pussy with a guitar than I ever did with money. Back in the 1970s, if you played on stage, it was easy to get laid. YOU didn't have to seduce wimmen. THEY wanted to seduce YOU, which in my case wasn't a difficult task.

I remember waking up in bed one morning with a school-teacher after a night of delightful frolic. She laid her head on my chest and said, "I"ve always dreamed about doing this."

I wasn't certain what she meant, so I asked her to explicate. "I've always wanted to go home with a guy in the band and then ball his brains out," she replied. My response? "Darlin,' do you have any OTHER fantasies you'd like to explore?" She was a sexy wench.

I thought about this for years, and I'm pretty sure what causes that attraction now. Wimmen are hormonal creatures and studies have shown that a male singing voice makes them produce phermones that are like opium in the brain. They start to feel real good and become aroused.

Second, just look at a guitar. It's a phallic instrument. Watch some guy running his hand up and down that long, stiff neck while he wears the double-round part around his waist. That is very suggestive of a well-hung man with a set of big nuts. It's all symbolic, but wimmen are sensitive creatures and they pick up on those signals. They get horny and they want to get laid.

Men are all swine (I'll admit that) because we think with the little head instead of the big one sometimes. But men don't go completely out of their minds when they visit a strip club. Wimmen DO when they see a musician they like.

Fairer sex, my ass. I know better.


Yep, females are by far the more vicious of the species, not to mention being deceitful, shrewish, hateful and hormonal ... and I still want them, all the time. It's hopeless ...

Posted by: maggot on June 16, 2005 03:28 PM

Only thing better at getting a guy laid than a guitar is a Harley. Man those were the days. I was always a little jealous of the guy that played guitar and had a Harley. He got the cream of the crop. Me and my old Harley didn't do bad though. Sure wish I could still ride. Bad back made me give up the Harley. Haven't given up on women yet but I am getting old.

Posted by: assrot on June 16, 2005 03:36 PM

Men are all swine (I'll admit that) because we think with the little head instead of the big one sometimes.

Sometimes?!! Hell mine got me through High School. Right now It's working Illustrator for me so I can write this post.

Posted by: gravdigr on June 16, 2005 03:39 PM

Hate to admit but I think you're right. Recently got back in touch with an old high school boyfriend and he sent me a cd that he made with a couple other guys a few years back. I'm a married woman and I've found I can stay focused, now that I've locked that damned cd away!

Posted by: Jane on June 16, 2005 03:50 PM

I've been known to go completely out of my mind at a strip club. I feel so dirty !

Posted by: Robert on June 16, 2005 03:52 PM

Having played guitar in several bands in high school, I can attest to this also. Sadly, I gave it up in college and sold my Telecaster and Les Paul. No matter how much I practiced, I realized I would never be better than mediocre. The pussy was great, however!

Posted by: Ed on June 16, 2005 04:01 PM

I can see why you'd make a teacher..forget her inhibitions for a while...the pic you have posted..the first time I saw it I had " A Pirate Looks At Forty " by Jimmy Buffet playing in my head..maybe I just need to have a drink and get outta the house more..who knows?
Mother,mother ocean....

Posted by: Kellie on June 16, 2005 04:13 PM

Spent years doing the band thing. I was a drummer. I found out that, generally, drummers attract a different type of woman than, say, a guitar player.

I can't tell you how many times I woke up with some strange with my dick stuck to the sheets.

One thing I noticed: When a group of girls are out partying because one of them is going to get married in a day or two, the bride to be ALWAYS wants to get laid by the band. Not the guitar player. Not the drummer. Not the singer . . . The BAND.

Women are as big of pigs as men.

Posted by: Daniel Medley on June 16, 2005 04:14 PM

"Watch some guy running his hand up and down that long, stiff neck while he wears the double-round part around his waist. That is very suggestive of a well-hung man with a set of big nuts."

A-man, you are truly demented. Or brilliant beyond my comprehension.

Posted by: Deliverance on June 16, 2005 04:56 PM

Hell, even I could get chicks in the 80's in college - and it WASN'T the mullet. I suspect the guitar played a MAJOR role in that field.

Posted by: Bruce on June 16, 2005 04:59 PM

Guitars are sexy, but I've always been more attracted to drummers. :)

Posted by: Alli on June 16, 2005 05:04 PM

Hell I'm getting horny just reading this!

Posted by: livey on June 16, 2005 05:44 PM

Most women love to fuck, just most men can't full fill there wants and pleasures, send them to me, I can. My Harley's got me PLENTY of pussy, no matter I wanted it or not, Cat

Posted by: catfish on June 16, 2005 07:13 PM

She balled your brains out?!?!? Well, THAT explains a lot.

I see you still kept the guitar though. Smart move.

Posted by: Wichi Dude on June 16, 2005 07:30 PM

It's not the music. It's the power. When you are up on stage, all eyes are on you. You are powerful. You are in control.

Most women want powerful men. Whether they admit it or not. They want a man who can take the bull by the horns. There ARE a few feminazi types that don't like that... but they are usually fat and ugly. No biggie...

I experienced the same thing in my many years as a bouncer at a club. I was never the most handsome devil in the room. But I had a "presence". And may Allah strike me dead if the foriegn Au Pairs didn't want a part of my "presents".

English, Norwegian, Bulgarian, Hungarian, Swedish, etc.

It's all a game. I'm just glad to be on the field.

Posted by: rightisright on June 16, 2005 09:17 PM

"Getting pussy". That's a pretty shameful concept. Been there, of course. I always preferred the times I made love. Anybody can get pussy. Takes a man to make love to a woman, and make her feel special. Just sayin'.

Posted by: Velociman on June 16, 2005 10:41 PM

Velociman...Oh my God...are you for real...let me's the cuddling you really enjoy?

Posted by: Kellie on June 16, 2005 10:44 PM

The cuddling is nice, Kellie. After some serious sex. Just saying I don't fuck women. I make love to them, so's they come back. To post about fucking women in one night stands, hell. We'll discuss at Cat's. Right, Rob?

Posted by: Velociman on June 16, 2005 11:36 PM

Velociman has it right.

Make love to 'em. All the more, if you know it's only going to be a one nighter.

Make it one to remember. One for the ages. One to reflect on on your (and her) 95th birthday, rockin' on the porch with a certain gleam in the eye.

Anyone can fuck. A fuck is a fuck.

Make love. Make a memory.

Sloop New Dawn
Galveston, TX

Posted by: Jim on June 17, 2005 12:20 AM

And then are those of us that never needed a Harley or a guitar to score some incredible wool. Just a great smile, a little style, a few smooth lines and a scent that drives women wild will do it every time.

Posted by: PJ on June 17, 2005 03:45 AM

Yeah, PJ. I can tell by the way you write that you've been neck-deep in pussy all of your life.


Posted by: Acidman on June 17, 2005 05:00 AM

Here's a new one...get ready...Rob may know what he's talking about...where do y'all get off thinking it's up to you to "make love" to a she'll come back?? Maybe she just wants a good f**k and to never see your ass again?? I bet this teacher remembers the night she "balled his brains" out more than some guy she dated for 6 weeks that "made love" to her....Making love is great...but sometimes you just wanna a good hard f**k..thank God my hubby understands that and isn't afraid to give it...cuddling not required..just a cigarrette for when it's over and a cool breeze to dry the sweat!!! Women do sweat during sex...or have you never had one to sweat??? I'm sure it makes all that cuddle time more pleasant

Posted by: Kellie on June 17, 2005 09:46 AM

Of course, harmonica players don't do too bad either...

Posted by: Mike on June 17, 2005 01:52 PM

Cuddling is a load of bullshit.

Especially after sex, when both are dripping with sweat.

At least, I THINK that's what it was like...

Posted by: Kim du Toit on June 17, 2005 03:31 PM

"Make love" ?? Ugh.... I hate that term.

Having sex is NOT making love. Love is made through time, patience... blah blah blah.

My point is, sometimes women like to be FUCKED. The little hottie at the bar didn't pick you up to MAKE LOVE. She picked you up to get laid.

Thankfully, my girlfriend understands all this. Yeah, sometimes it is romantic with the candles and strawberries and all that jive. But most of the time she just says, "Get your ass in here and fuck me." Dutifully, I run in and do the best to knock the bottom out of it.

Posted by: rightisright on June 17, 2005 05:01 PM

So spiritual, women.

Posted by: Brett on June 18, 2005 10:35 AM

Thanks Acidbrain. I forgot that the ladies dig my writing as well, but it was nice of you to point out that ADDITIONAL quality of mine.

Posted by: PJ on June 19, 2005 03:07 AM

Usually only fat women sweat during sex Kellie, but thankfully I have tried to stay sober enough most nights out to keep that type of conquest to a minimum. I'm sorry to hear about your perspiration problem, but hopefully your husband will find a reason to want to make love to you again one day.

Posted by: PJ on June 20, 2005 02:09 AM
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