Gut Rumbles

April 08, 2008

Random notes

Originally published August 6, 2003

Blogging will be lighter than usual this evening because I'm going to try to plow through some of my email. That task may take some time, especially since I like to reply to the good ones. But I thunk a couple of thoughts that I want to share:

#1) If you don't believe in magic, live near Interstate 95 in southeast Georgia. That road is magic. It's a cosmic rain-barrier that steers clouds where it wants them to go.

Last week it rained like Niagra Falls all over Effingham County. (I wasn't here to see it, but I heard all about it when I returned from Jekyll Island. I also saw all the flooded ditches and water-marks in my yard. It sprinkled a few times in Savannah. The rain made I-95 its border and stayed WEST of it.

Being the capricious woman she is, Mother Nature is on the opposite side of the super-slab this week. Now, the storms blow in from the east, flood downtown Savannah and stop EAST of I-95. I drove home from work in a frog-strangling downpour today. When I was a half-mile past I-95, the road was as dry as a popcorn fart.

Who knows which side the rain will be on next week? I don't. But you can bet your sweet ass that I-95 will be the border.

That road is magic.

2) I have been playing with my new toy. Not "playing with it" in self-abuse mode, but just learning to operate it and checking everything out. I was disappointed in the doctor's office yesterday when he pumped it up. Roscoe became stiff, but he damn sure wasn't anything to brag about. The process was painful, too. I was very unhappy.

But I've been pumping for a while, letting Roscoe rest, then pumping some more. In fact, I am blogging with a very nice erection right now and it doesn't hurt at all. A also believe, based on the size of the implants, that I'm only about half-pumped. I believe that when I get the old one-eyed rascal accustomed to this process, he may be very close to what he was before.

I just need to break him in slowly.

3) Parents, teachers and politicians should not be making excuses for kids who can't read. [News article no longer exists.] The parents should be working with their children while screaming that the teachers be fired and the politicians should shut the fuck up. But parents don't want to be bothered, the teachers like their feathered bed and the politicians NEVER shut up. That story is a crying shame.

Okay, I'm off to read email for a while.

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