Gut Rumbles

March 05, 2008

Middle age

Originally published April 19, 2003

I am 51 years old. My hair is gray and my dick is broken. I am lean and trim, but I'm starting to get the sagging flesh that OLD MEN get as they age. My ass is dropping, my tits are drooping and I feel tired all the time. I don't like what is happening to me.

I can still outwalk the young bucks at work, and I'll kill them on the stairs, but most of them are pussies anyway. I just know that I couldn't outwalk MYSELF from ten years ago. THAT young buck would kill ME today.

"Middle age." What a concept.

The best years of my life are spent. I lived them well, but I wish I could do it all over again. I've had a LOT of fun. I LIKE having fun. I don't want to be an old Cracker watching his body fall apart around him, alone in a shitty house. But that's the hand I play today in the card game of life.

I am Acidman, but I want to be Peter Pan.

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