August 28, 2007

For the blog- Prick gnats

Originally published November 17, 2005

Every Sunday, we all pack into several mini-vans (called "druggie buggies" by the "inmates") and go off somewhere on a field trip. Today, we went to the Mann Center, which is a Baptist church retreat. We ate hot dogs for lunch and played softball for a couple of hours.

Well, SOME people played softball. The physically disabled in the group, including me, sat under an oak tree and swated gnats for a couple of hours. I think I inhaled about a pound of those buzzing, biting bastards.

"DAMN! I didn't think sand gnats lived this far north", someone observed.

"Those aren't sand gnats," Someone else replied. I agreed. These gnats were just as pestiferous as a genuine no-see-'em, but they were bigger, with dark wings.

"Then what the hell are they?" The first person asked.

"Prick gnats," came the reply.

"Prick gnats? How did they get that name?"

"From where they like to land on dogs. They like rigid tools. That's why they're biting YOU. You remind them of a dog's dick."

Maybe you had to be there, but I thought that reply was hilarious. And it's TRUE about where those gnats land on a dog.

-Acidman