Gut Rumbles

November 17, 2005

For The Blog: Prick Gnats

Every Sunday, we all pack into several mini-vans (called "druggie buggies" by the inmates" and go off somewhere on a field trip. Today, we went to the Mann Center, which is a Baptist church retreat. We ate hot dogs for lunch and played softball for a couple of hours.

Well, SOME people played softball. The physically disabled in the group, including me, sat under an oak tree and swated gnats for a couple of hours. I think I inhaled about a pound of those buzzing, biting bastards.

"DAMN! I didn't think sand gnats lived this far north", someone observed.

"Those aren't sand gnats," Someone else replied. I agreed. These gnats were just as pestiferous as a genuine no-see-'em, but they were bigger, with dark wings.

"Then what the hell are they?" The first person asked.

"Prick gnats," came the reply.

"Prick gnats? How did they get that name?"

"From where they like to land on dogs. They like rigid tools. That's why they're biting YOU. You remind them of a dog's dick."

Maybe you had to be there, but I thought that reply was hilarious. And it's TRUE about where those gnats land on a dog.



Up north we call 'em peckergnats

Posted by: og on November 17, 2005 11:06 PM

Acidman! You've been combatting some genuine badass no seeums. Congratulations and hope your body parts are feeling as good as your mental parts.

Posted by: Kim on November 17, 2005 11:08 PM

It is good to see that through it all your sense of humor has survivied. I am looking forward to your return to the cracker box. Good luck from a faithful reader.

Posted by: Ray on November 18, 2005 12:56 AM

You are showing your hillbillie upbringing. Here in the mountains they are all called dog pecker knats...Nasty agrivating little creatures everytime you try to have a picnic...
Your humor is back now get back on the site and go to work...Your are sorely missed by most. The wimmen are probably having a party...

Posted by: scrapiron on November 18, 2005 12:56 AM

Ditto on all the above.

Posted by: Florida Bill on November 18, 2005 08:37 AM

Good to see that detox has mellowed you, A-Man...

Posted by: Zarba on November 18, 2005 10:06 AM

Yeah what they said ..........hurry back but take your time

Posted by: Arathorn on November 18, 2005 11:38 AM

Are you blogging now?

Posted by: Alaska Kim on November 18, 2005 11:41 AM

I was raised in Northern Georgia and we always called them dog pecker gnats.

Posted by: assrot on November 18, 2005 07:09 PM

The pro baseball team in Savannah Georgia are called Sand Gnats, go figure, Cat

Posted by: catfish on November 18, 2005 07:45 PM

Alaska Kim:

Rob's daughter, Sam posts these messages.


Posted by: Juliette on November 18, 2005 07:52 PM

Also called dog pecker gnats in Iowa

Posted by: youngbrews on November 18, 2005 11:53 PM

Prick Ants? Christ, my Missus was worried about them thingies that try to crawl into her cooter! Bein' up north and all, never had the prick kind.
Jesus, ya learn something every day.
God Bless ya, Rob. Got bigger balls than I do.


Posted by: Ralph Rattfuc on November 19, 2005 06:18 PM

I'm utterly ashamed. I've been lurking here for years, meant to do something when you went in-patient, did nothing, and now I feel like a total asshole.

Still, here's the deal: I wish you nothing but good, and one of my larger hopes in life is to meet you in person.

God bless you, and good luck to you.


Posted by: Patrick Carroll on November 19, 2005 08:58 PM


I am definitely on the g'rumbles periphery, but I continue to admire your openness and honesty, and congratulate you on your progress. You are a MAN. Blessings from Las Vegas...


Posted by: Chris on November 19, 2005 11:37 PM

And one more thing: I am a Masshole by an unfortunate circumstance of birth, but I have lived enough time down in Middle Tennessee to piss and moan about the confounded "skeeters" (I think that's what they call them, there's a slight language barrier) that have never met a lower leg they wouldn't harrass and molest. Nevertheless, that's God's country.

Posted by: Chris on November 19, 2005 11:41 PM

I thought you were describing Democrats for a minute there....
Oh, you were... weren't you?
Nasty flesh-biting insects.
Naw, couldn't have been.
We can see Democrats too easily. Besides, they're noisier, and much bigger.
Nasty flesh-biting insects.

Posted by: BittenByBugs on November 20, 2005 03:10 AM

In just a bit of a derivitive, dog pecker knats is what we called 'em. Always conjured up a good visual that one has.

Posted by: Dishonorable Schoolboy on November 22, 2005 03:04 PM

OK I heard someone in my hometown call them DOG PECKER GNATS TOO! But do u have any suggestions on how to get rid of the DAMN things!!!!!!!

Posted by: bobbie on May 10, 2008 10:17 AM

we call um just pecker nats here in Tennessee.

Posted by: Hippie on April 13, 2010 09:37 PM
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