Gut Rumbles

May 16, 2007

I am an amazing man

Originally published August 9, 2005

You've gotta admit it. I attract some of the best trolls of any blog anywhere. These people fly down from the Constellation Feces and can't bear to miss a day without telling me how full of shit I am or how much they hate me.

I kinda like that. ANY attention is GOOD attention.

I especially like the ones who question my masculinity and brag about how much pussy they get. BWHAHAHAHAHAAA! Nobody who trolls a blog gets a lot of pussy. If you were getting a lot of pussy, you wouldn't be trolling my blog! I've HAD a lot of pussy! I know how this works.

Wimmen like men who WRITE a blog, play guitar, feed them nice dinners and court and spark. They DO NOT like some pathetic cockroach who crawls around with a fake email address and thinks he's being "clever" when he trolls. Well, maybe he can get laid, too, but I wouldn't stick MY dick in the kind of woman HE attracts.

I'll admit that my sex drive isn't what it once was. I don't feel the urge to put any more notches on my gunbelt. What for? I left that "trophy" thing in my rear-view a long time ago. I'd rather have a woman I could talk to than someone who wanted to fuck all the time.

Of course, if you're a horny woman, you can have me while I'm sound asleep. Just pump up the bionic Roscoe and climb aboard. It'll last longer than YOU will--- just don't ask me to power it with my ass. Not anymore.

I'm a tired old man.

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