Gut Rumbles
 

August 09, 2005

i am an amazing man

You've gotta admit it. I attract some of the best trolls of any blog anywhere. These people fly down from the Constellation Feces and can't bear to miss a day without telling me how full of shit I am or how much they hate me.

I kinda like that. ANY attention is GOOD attention.

I especially like the ones who question my masculinity and brag about how much pussy they get. BWHAHAHAHAHAAA! Nobody who trolls a blog gets a lot of pussy. If you were getting a lot of pussy, you wouldn't be trolling my blog! I've HAD a lot of pussy! I know how this works.

Wimmen like men who WRITE a blog, play guitar, feed them nice dinners and court and spark. They DO NOT like some pathetic cockroach who crawls around with a fake email address and thinks he's being "clever" when he trolls. Well, maybe he can get laid, too, but I wouldn't stick MY dick in the kind of woman HE attracts.

I'll admit that my sex drive isn't what it once was. I don't feel the urge to put any more notches on my gunbelt. What for? I left that "trophy" thing in my rear-view a long time ago. I'd rather have a woman I could talk to than someone who wanted to fuck all the time.

Of course, if you're a horny woman, you can have me while I'm sound asleep. Just pump up the bionic Roscoe and climb aboard. It'll last longer than YOU will--- just don't ask me to power it with my ass. Not anymore.

I'm a tired old man.

Comments

i'm so attracted to posts like that.
*sigh*

Posted by: erica on August 9, 2005 05:38 PM

Even your trolls are amusing.

Posted by: og on August 9, 2005 05:47 PM

I am sure you know some engineers that could rig up a hydraulic or pneumatic device that would fit below your ass.

Press a button, instant up and down (aka in and out) motion.

Posted by: rightisright on August 9, 2005 05:49 PM

If the trolls I read here are genuine--they think you are a loathsome toad symtomatic of what's wrong with America. I guess I believe that too, although I've been around long enough to have earned a place here. Trolls for the most part hit and run. I may hit from time to time, but I don't run.

The worst thing I've seen here is the truly loathsome, evil, comments about Peter Jennings. Liberal, he may have been. But he was a generous, kind man. I heard the ancedote today about his driver. All big cheese TV people in NYC get drivers. It turns out his was a kid from some outer borough, smart but poor. Jennings paid for this kid to go to college. He didn't brag about it as you would have done--if you would have done anything so selfless. He just did it. There are lots of similar stories about Jennings. He was a good man.

Now, tell me why you assholes are jumping up and down and shouting because you're so glad he's dead?

Revolting, disgusting, loathsome you men are. You all deserve the low life miseries you have.

Posted by: Beth on August 9, 2005 06:54 PM

"just don't ask me to power it with my ass"...

That was funny!!

Posted by: Alaska Kim on August 9, 2005 07:04 PM

I gotta go with Beth on this one, we troll you because it's so damn easy. You've descended into self-parody, Cracker and we visit your site to feel better about ourselves. There aren't too many dinosaurs like you left, guys who regard being a supervisor at a chemical plant as their greatest accomplishment (a normal person would view that plant as one of the lower levels of Hell) and then wonder why they got cancer. Guys who rant and rave about health regulations and then complain about stomach pain. Guys who on the one hand say... " I just want to cuddle and be loved for myself," and then carry on about hiring hookers.

Your a riot dude, but never forget; we're not laughing with you, we're laughing at you. Visiting this site is like visiting a venomous butt ass ugly endangered species at the zoo -- as distasteful as you might find the critter, you don't want to miss a chance to point your finger and laugh because you know it won't be around very long.

Posted by: Zappatista on August 9, 2005 08:21 PM

"I'd rather have a woman I could talk to than
someone who wanted to fuck all the time."

Uh, can I compromise with a "happy medium". I definately need to talk.
Before, and maybe even after if I don't asleep too soon.

And, Zappatista ? ZAPPATISTA ???
WTF. That just sez it all.
DUDE, you'all been down there lately to help them out ?
That would be reality check time. Would be great on Fox TV.
Or, you just posing and posturing and trolling for lefty pussy ?

Posted by: Dan Pursel on August 9, 2005 08:43 PM

you don't want to miss a chance to point your finger and laugh because you know it won't be around very long.
Could be. They be a bunch of us old rednecks that made things happen that the left wingers are enjoying so much today. But, just keep in mind that there are a whole bunch more just like us being raised every year. Hell, we are your worst nightmare. We own guns, know how to use them and won't hesitate to shoot your ass when you fuck with us. And we outnumber you!

Posted by: GUYK on August 9, 2005 08:45 PM

"Hell, we are your worst nightmare. We own guns, know how to use them and won't hesitate to shoot your ass when you fuck with us. And we outnumber you!"

You go, Guy!

Posted by: Suz on August 9, 2005 08:59 PM

Well Guy, you certainly have the posturing and bluster down pat. You must be another one of them Fighting 101st Keyboarders, I love how macho and fierce you guys sound when you get all worked up. You guys should start a club or something.

Your making the mistake of thinking that everyone who disagrees with you is afraid of guns and confrontation. That's kinda foolish and history has shown otherwise more than once.

Posted by: Zappatista on August 9, 2005 09:26 PM

I wish there were more dinos like you left. Luckly, I married an old coot Marine (he's just not old). You just don't get humor like this anymore, thanks for the laugh--you too GuyK.

Posted by: Kate on August 9, 2005 09:56 PM

It HAS, ZAP-HEAD? Give me one fucking example.

Posted by: Acidman on August 9, 2005 09:58 PM

I don't care if you're sleeping, just lay there and I'll take care of myself. Damn I need to get laid! Quit making me horny!

Posted by: Livey on August 9, 2005 10:20 PM

Itsh 03:25am here.....

been to pub... s'late...(hic)

'm I a troll...?

ooooh... sleepyoofs....

had blurry good reason for drinking though ... (hic) shyster sweating....

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz hic!

g'nite...


x

Posted by: Misty on August 9, 2005 10:28 PM

I hear that on moonless nights, when the wind is just right, you can still smell Atlanta burning.

By the way -- "ZAP-HEAD" -- I like that. That Twain fella has nothing on you and it's nice to know that southern wit is alive and well. I especially like the way you make more expressive by typing it in all caps.

Posted by: Zappatista on August 9, 2005 11:37 PM

well, Zap-head . I notice that you didn't give me an example,

Fucktard.

Posted by: Acidman on August 10, 2005 12:09 AM

From your above post ZaPp, I conclude there's nobody in your family named Steinbeck either.

You cumless twit

Posted by: James Hooker, Ace of aces on August 10, 2005 12:49 AM

Zapp's unresponsive response is a fucking embarrassment. Where's the example? In that vein, I retort thusly: mame la pinga, zapita.

Posted by: Chris on August 10, 2005 12:59 AM


"Your a riot dude, but never forget; we're not laughing with you, we're laughing at you. Visiting this site is like visiting a venomous butt ass ugly endangered species at the zoo -- as distasteful as you might find the critter, you don't want to miss a chance to point your finger and laugh because you know it won't be around very long."
-Zappatista

I LOVE IT.....LMFAO!!!. Good job Zap.

"ZAP HEAD"? Sounds like Rob just made that up because of my calling him Acidbrain. I think ole Zap has all you fucktarded Repulsivecans figured out. He is definitely of higher caliber than us lowly trolls. I humbly step aside and bow to the new trollmaster and watch him kick some wingnut ass. Give em' hell Zap, and just remember.......when they all pile on, they are testing your metal. Don't give a fucking inch to the bastards. I never have and neither has JB.

PJ

Posted by: PJ on August 10, 2005 03:46 AM

"There aren't too many dinosaurs like you left, guys who regard being a supervisor at a chemical plant as their greatest accomplishment (a normal person would view that plant as one of the lower levels of Hell) "
-Zappatista

Excuse me? A normal person would view that plant as one of the lower levels of Hell? You must be a democrat: one of those people who can't understand why Bush got elected.

Just in case you check back in, let me point out there are a lot of folks who work at things called 'jobs'. Without them, that food wouldn't make it to your table and you wouldn't have those fine clothes you wear every day. The computer you typed your comments on wouldn't be put together or delivered so nicely to your door.

Coming from an entirely hard working blue-collar background, I can tell you there are a lot of people trying to get the type of job Rob had. Damn, he was management! And that's white-collared, don't you know? That pay-check won't just let ends meet; it means you can save a little bit and maybe even send a kid to college just as my daddy did.

Zappatista, you ought to be ashamed of yourself for that line. Until the democratic party can figure out that it takes a 100 hard workers to support some sneering pseudo-intellectual who denigrates the very members of society that produces the goods he uses daily... well, I expect that they won't be making many converts.

Posted by: sue on August 10, 2005 07:11 AM

What has age got to do with it? You've always been a tired ass.

Posted by: Willy on August 10, 2005 08:48 AM

Twat, did you know Jennings? No, I didn't think so.
Did you EVER do anything worth being paid a million dollars for? No, I didn't think so.

You have a big fucking, fecal, racist, mouth. That's all.

So, lose a few pounds, get a job, and then come back and say something you know something about. Oh, and the same goes for you heifer of a wife.

Both of you are evil, do-nothings that are a detriment for America.

Posted by: Earl on August 10, 2005 01:08 PM

By the way, trolls, "altruism" and "morality" are not synonyms.

The belief that they are is the fundamental concept behind tyranny.

Posted by: Brett on August 10, 2005 04:50 PM

"Both of you are evil, do-nothings that are a detriment for America."

Words from an IRS agent....

Posted by: Scott G on August 10, 2005 04:53 PM

I won't say much but Mom has been gone 8 years now. She taught me how to make a wicked chili, and serve it with spaghetti. Nothing on earth like it. Even for a Yankee she was a cook.
Our chili might not meet y'all's approval, but damn it's good that way....

Posted by: Horrabin on August 10, 2005 10:43 PM

Fuck. I was distracted. Wrong thread.

Posted by: Horrabin on August 10, 2005 10:45 PM


Congratulations on the new dictionary Chablis. You must be very proud of yourself that you caught me misspelling or using a word out of context so you could call me a moron. You are a very astute fucking gash aren't you? Wait, let me be sure I used that word in the proper context.......yep, gash is correct. Now fuck off ya crazy bitch.

PJ

Posted by: PJ on August 11, 2005 03:11 AM
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