Gut Rumbles

May 13, 2007

More on names

Originally published May 16, 2005

At the risk of being branded a "racist" (again), I am going to relate a true story about I guy I worked with years ago. He was a big strapping black fellow who became highly irate when people at the plant started calling him "Goodhead."

I am not black, so I can't speak from personal experience, but I have heard black men proclaim loud and long about how they NEVER perform oral sex on a woman. "I DON'T EAT PUSSY!!!" That seems to be some kind of Black Pride thing that I never understood. I've never minded pleasing a woman any way she wanted it.

But "Goodhead" evidently strayed from the proper path and some woman announced in a club one night, "There's (whatever his name was)! I LOVE him! He sure does give good head!"

A lot of people in the club worked in the plant and the word spread like wildfire. "Goodhead" became his new nickname and it pissed him off to a fare-thee-well. The more people called him by that name the more pissed off he became and he finally ended up shooting somebody in a bar on a Saturday night. (He didn't kill the guy. He shot him in the balls.) While he was out on bail over that incident, someone walked up to him and shot him five times in the groin.

I don't know what happened to him after that, but he never worked for me again.

I never understood his anger. As for myself, I would LOVE to have the nickname "Goodhead" among the ladies, especially if I walked into a bar and a satisfied customer announced it to every other female in the place. I'd strut like a bantam rooster. I'd ask them to stand in line and sample my wares.

But that's just me. I don't understand Black Culture.

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