Gut Rumbles

May 05, 2007

Existential question

Originally published February 10, 2005

This one is for heterosexuals only. Nah... wait a minute. I don't care which side of the plate you bat from... you can answer the questions, too. I'm just curious here.

I am a straight male and I like female boobs. I've seen some downright BEAUTIFUL boobs and some that were okay and a few that barely qualified as boobs, but I cannot recall EVER seeing a set that I thought was ugly. I like boobs. I like some better than others, but that fact doesn't change the basic premise that I LIKE BOOBS.

Now... I gotta ask you wimmen. Do you look at cocks the same way I look at boobs? You know, some are BEAUTIFUL, some are okay and THAT ONE will do because it's the only one around? I'm trying to explore the female mind here and I always get confused when I go there.

The only cock that EVER fascinated ME was my own, and I've never had an interest in another guy's cock. But you wimmen DO, and I want you to 'splain that to me. I will bare my assets first:

* I like titties with nice nipples.

* I like titties that AROUSE a woman when you play with her nipples.

* I like small titties. Anything over a handful is wasted.

* My experience has taught me that wimmen with big racks don't have sensitive nipples.

* Wimmen with big racks don't seem to care about their asses, which I happen to think is the most sexy thing on a woman.

Now, I've had my male chauvanist rant. So, YOU tell ME? (By the way... I got this idea from playing a game of poker with some wimmen and all the cards had well-hung nekkid male studs on them, and THEY started the cock-talk, not me. I just listened.)

*Are some cocks prettier than others?

* Did you ever see one that you thought was downright UGLY?

* What is the difference?

*How many of you ever saw an uncircumsized male?

* What is better--- length, width or the person it's attached to?

* Is a blow-job FUN, or do you see it as a female duty?

* You have multiple orgasms (I mean "abbadabbas") How do you do that?

Okay, you bold, liberated wimmen. Answer THOSE questions and I'll write about what I think about "choochie" later.

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