April 29, 2007
Originally published February 1, 2005
* I never met a cat that gave a shit for anything but its own ass.
* Low-carb diets are hurting bread companies and Kryspy Kreme. That shit is also making steak very expensive. I hate you fat fucks.
* How many people actually read the health-labels on food? I didn't, once upon a time, but I do now. I can't understand a damn bit of it. But I look smart as shit doing it.
* If you think there's no difference between Pacific shrimp and the mud-daubers we catch around here, you don't know much about shrimp.
*You crack the shell and immediately smell the tidewater and the marsh. Pry it free, cut that muscle on the bottom, drag it out and drop it in your mouth. Explosion! You taste the salt and you taste the river and you taste the sea. You swallow the meat and taste the beginning of mankind in your nose. The taste goes back and forth for a moment, until you're ready for another one. That's eating a raw oyster.
* I'd rather starve to death than eat shit for a living.
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