April 29, 2007
A lot of people don't like what I write and I receive a lot of criticism that borders on insult, if I took any of that shit seriously. I am accustomed to being called a "redneck" a "racist" a "hillbilly" and an inbred deviate. I have plenty of "stupid," "ignorant," "dumb," and "brain-dead" to last me a lifetime.
But occassionally an insult really hurts. I don't like to be called "shallow." That really bothers me. I also don't like to be called "common" because I don't believe that I am. "Loathsome" is another one that gets me. I often weep when I read such things.
I there is one thing I can say for myself in this life, it's that I am not shallow and I am not common. Loathsome may be open to debate, but I'm willing to take that one on. I write what I write, and if you don't like it, don't read it. Seems pretty simple to me, loathsome though I am.
I personally believe that I'm a damned good guy.
I don't know, but I certainly understand one fact. NOBODY is cool. NOBODY is any better than I am. I spent years learning that fact. Fancy clothes and expensive cars don't make the person. That's all on the inside.
The most beautiful thing I ever saw in my life was a red-headed woman scrubbing meal-pans with sand after we ate. She had a slight smile on her face and the firelight lit her perfectly. She was exqusite. We were 100 miles from civilization and we had those entire woods to ourselves. I told her to put down the pans. The temperature was perfect for snuggling.
So, that's what we did. And that was some of the best sex I ever had.
I LIVED that night and I'll never forget it. I've experienced enough beauty in my life to be immune from insults. The older I get, the more difficult it becomes to embarass me about anything. I've grabbed this sumbitch called "life" with both hands and I've damned near choked him to his knees once or twice. He's kicked me in the balls a few times, but I never asked for a fair fight. You don't get that out of life.
I developed a hide, and it's tough. Insult me all you want to.
I don't care.
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