Gut Rumbles

April 02, 2007

Sunday stumpers on a Monday

Originally published August 4, 2002

1) What's the best analogy of the cultural aspect of the U.S.? Melting pot? Tossed Salad? Gumbo? Mosaic?

Gumbo. If you've never eaten genuine Louisiana gumbo, you might not understand (right, Joie?). But lots of different flavors mixing together into a whole is a beautiful thing.

2) What animal(s) creeps you out? Why?

Snakes. I've been creeped-out by those belly-crawling fuckers all my life. I would rather look down the barrel of a .38 pistol in the trembling hands of a desperate crack addict than see a snake. And I don't care what kind of snake it is.

3) What one thing would your friends be surprised to know about you?

I don't believe anything about me would surprise my true friends. They know me, warts and all.

4) What one piece of advice did someone (parent, teacher, friend) give you that you take to heart even to this day?

My high school (defensive) football coach told me, "Don't ever quit. Work hard. If it was easy, any asshole could do it." I value THAT advice, and it's served me well all my life.

5) What do you most want for your next birthday?

I don't want to have it. I want to be young again. I want to be the man I once was.

I can't have that, so I'll settle for not being alone. I don't exactly look forward to birthdays anymore.

Of course, a room full of nekkid wimmin with red toenails licking all over my bronze body MIGHT make me feel better about the whole thing.

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