Gut Rumbles

April 02, 2007

I've seen fire and I'm about to see rain

Originally published August 5, 2002

A series of disasters are occurring all at once around my home. "Comments" are "updating," whatever the fuck THAT means, a thunderstorm just blew up outside, so I expect to lose power any minute now, and I just set my kitchen stove on fire while attempting to cook a batch of french fries. The fire is out and the stove is no worse for wear, so I'll probably eat the french fries, too.

The damned fire started because I was attempting to multi-task on the stove and still blog at the same time, while taking time-out to play my new 12-string guitar. I realized at work today that since my lumberjack breakfast at the Huddle House with Recondo32 and his lovely wife, Georgia on Sunday morning, I have consumed only one bag of potato chips, two Mountain Dews, FOUR packs of cigarettes, a small bag of grapes, NO BOILED PEANUTS and an entire 5-liter box of Franzia White Zin wine in two days. Nothing else. I really don't believe that I'm eating a healthy diet. In fact, I believe that I have a tendency not to eat at all sometimes.

I intended to remedy that situation by cooking eggrolls, hamburgers and french fries that not only would feed me tonight, but leave enough leftovers for lunch at work for the next two days. I got a little carried away, since my attention was focused elsewhere, and I almost burnt my house down.

But I've got a decent meal for tonight and some REALLY CRISPY eggrolls for lunch tomorrow. The fans should get rid of the smoke in the kitchen before long.

I love it when a plan comes together.

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