Gut Rumbles

March 30, 2007

Eating bird

Originally published April 1, 2005

Everybody eats chicken. cooked all kinds if ways. Telling me that you had chichen for Lunch, EVEN IF IT WAS REALLY GOOD, does not impress me. I can show show an industrial park in Charleston, South Carolina, that slaughters 1.5 MILLION chickens every day. And they use everything but the last squawk from those birds.

Let's talk about eating interesting poultry.

* Some people like duck. I don't. It is greasy, dark meat that tastes rancid to me.

* I like quail. They are fun to shoot, but you need a lot of them to make a meal. Only the breast is any good to eat, and they are small birds. But a mess of fried quail is good eating, especially with okra, cornbread and pinto beans.

* Ever tasted a Guinea Hen? They resemble a miniature turkey but don't taste nearly as good. They eat too much wild food.

* I know a lot of people who like dove hunting. Other than killing the birds, I don't know why. A dove tastes worse than a duck does to me.

* Turkey. I'll put up a $100 bet that says I can cook a turkey better than you can, and I accept all comers on this wager. I once hurt my mama's feelings badly on Thanksgiving when we had a mini-family reunion. We both cooked turkeys and people ate every scrap of mine and left half of hers untouched. The only thing that saved her pride that day was she tasted my turkey and admitted, "Rob... I hate to say it, but this is a lot better than mine."

I have a secret.

What kind of bird do YOU like to eat?

(Yeah. I know what a "bird" means in England and Austraila. Perverts.)

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