March 07, 2007
Originally published June 2, 2003
I love those boys.
My son is the one with no shirt on (go figure). You're seeing the last of a half-pound of bacon vanish down their gullets along with four large scrambled eggs and a bagel each, which disappeared right off the bat. Those milk glasses were full when they started eating.
When I sat them down, I asked, "If you had three wishes that could come true, what would they be?"
Young Jack right away said, "I wish Quinton was my brother!"
That made me feel good, until Quinton said, "Shut up and eat, Jack. You're my FRIEND, not my brother."
"Okay, then I wish we were TWINS!"
"We can't be twins because I'm older than you are. Twins are born at the same time. I am nine years old and you aren't." Logic sucks, doesn't it?
"No, you're not. You're SEVEN. You'll be eight in two months. I'll be TEN YEARS OLD before you're nine."
I performed an intervention here, because Jack was getting pissed and Quinton was laying the seniority club on him pretty heavily.
I said, "I'm FIFTY-ONE years old, and I am TALL DOG around this house. You boys better shut up and eat or you'll never see another birthday. If there's a fight in THIS HOUSE, I'll be the one who starts it, and I'll be the one who finishes it." I struck a gunfighter's stance in the kitchen. "You poots want some of ME?"
They shut up and ate.
Little boys are like dogs and little girls are like cats. I've raised one of each and I know the difference. I bought a 22" deep inflatable wading pool at Wal-Mart last weekend. I inflated it, put water in it, and the boys immediately decided that it was a wrestling arena where the goal was to toss to your opponent out on the ground.
Jack's sisters came over and actually believed that the pool was meant for swimming. They were quickly dissuaded of that crazy idea by Jack, who is accustomed to fighting with his sisters. Quinton LET the girls throw him out of the pool because he won't fight them. He is WAY too much like me at his age, and the way I was for most of my life. He still believes in chilvary. He made the State Finals in his weight class last year in wrestling and he tosses Jack around like a rag doll. But he LET HIMSELF be manhandled by the girls.
Guess who the girls went after? I'll give you a hint... it wasn't Jack.
I'll never trust another goddam split-tail as long as I live. I am a dog, and I can't think like a cat. I am a man, and I damned sure can't think like a woman. I am 0-2 playing that game and I have learned my lesson. It cost me a LOT both times.
I would NEVER post anything like this about an ex-lover and I believe that the guy who did it is pure scum. [Ed. Link borked. Referred to the Miss Vermont "scandal" from the Tucker Max site.] But I also know that a woman will do worse than that to YOU and never feel a moment's remorse about it.
If you throw a man out of his home, take a man's son, run off with another man and then sue the father for child support, you pure-ass suck. Women do that shit all the time and the father is playing a hand from a stacked deck. I've seen those cards dealt to me. "Fairer Sex," my aching ass.
Bloodless cunts abound in this world. And they have Politically Correct sympathy on their side. I don't know why, because they machinate worse than any man ever could ever CONCEIVE of doing, but that's their soap-opera brains in action. Fuck 'em.
Did you ever notice that women who claim to have been "raped" get raped more than once? Did you ever notice that women who have "abusive relationships" with one guy go through several just like that one? WOMEN ARE FUCKED UP!!!
They are the Borg.
If they didn't have a pussy and red toenails, there'd be a fucking bounty on their asses.
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