Gut Rumbles

February 27, 2007


Originally published October 21, 2004

I am a natural-born flirt. I am NOT ashamed of that fact, either. I'll flirt with young girls, old ladies, fat wimmen, skinny wimmen, good-looking wimmen and plain Janes. I flirt with ALL wimmen.

What's wrong with just saying something nice to someone you don't know? One of the things I hated about my few brief sojourns up north was the fact that people don't SPEAK to each other or LOOK at each other the way we do down South.

I'm not talking about being a leering, braying jackass. That shit will get you shot where I live, and a woman might do it, too.

I'm talking about just being nice and outgoing and being polite to people when you can. I don't see anything wrong with telling a woman I don't know that she looks good, or that I really like her hair or that she has a beautiful daughter. Most Southern wimmen appreciate such attention. I've never been slapped for doing such things, but I have been kissed a couple of times.

Southern wimmen know how to flirt, too. In fact... I think they wrote the book on that subject. They know how to dangle that golden fruit just beyond your reach and laugh quietly when you fall on your ass going for it. They are heartless and incorrigable and I love 'em all.

I want to start a National Flirting Day, where every man, woman and child in this country MUST go out and FLIRT with somebody. Say something nice, complement somebody's looks, kiss a stranger. Be bold. Flirt your ass off.

We'd be a better country if we adopted my idea.

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