Gut Rumbles

February 27, 2007

Things I know

Originally published October 21, 2004

Here is a list of things that I KNOW, but I can't prove.

#1-- Osama Bin Laden is dead.

#2-- John Kerry would make a shitty President.

#3-- Dan Rather lied KNOWING that he was LYING and he thought he could get away with it.

#4-- Julia Roberts is not pretty nekkid, with no make-up.

#5-- Teresa Kerry may suck, but she doesn't swallow.

#6-- Barbra Streisand has a very high opinion of herself, but a low IQ.

#7-- Michael Moore wears drawers big enough to serve as a circus tent. He has racing stripes in the back and he never washes them. His idea of a shower is half a can of Right Guard sprayed on his stinking armpits.

#8-- We will win the war on terror, but we will lose the war on drugs.

#9-- I'm going to jail one of these days for Contempt of Court. I'll be guilty as hell, too. Actually, "contempt" is too kind a word to describe my feelings about our court system.

#10-- Democrats will cheat more than Republicans do in the next election, then they'll whine about "disenfranchisement" and other such shit the way poor losers do when they lose the election. Lawyers will come swarming out of the woodwork to sue everywhere.

I may be wrong, but I don't think so.


You sound just like me, back when I was young and stupid and still had some faith in our government. That was forty years ago.

Posted by: BirdAdvocate on March 2, 2007 04:06 AM
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