Gut Rumbles

February 24, 2007


Originally published May 4, 2005

I stole this idea from here and here. I've lived long enough to accumulate a bit of worldly wisdom, and I feel that is my civic duty to share some of it with you.

So, here are Acidman's 21 Pieces of Good Advice

1) If it sounds too good to be true, it is.

2) You NEVER get something for nothing in this world. Somebody has to pay.

3) If you never learn to play a musical instrument, you're missing out on one of the greatest pleasures in life.

4) Money isn't everything. Having money is better than being broke, but greed is the ugliest of sins.

5) Never betray a friend. That's a cut that never heals.

6) It's okay to fuck up. Everybody does. Just don't make it a habit to fuck up the same way over and over again. Learn from your mistakes.

7) Love your mama. She's the only one you'll ever have.

8) When you're knocked down, get back up, even when it hurts. Understand that life is going to pound you sometimes and learn to roll with the punches. If the pounding doesn't kill you, it makes you stronger.

9) Don't EVER say, "I love you" if you don't mean it.

10) There is no such thing as free pussy in this world. You're going to pay for it, one way or another.

11) Treat other people the way you want to be treated.

12) Keep your word, but NEVER expect a politician to do the same.

13) Drive in the got-dam right lane if you're not passing somebody. Use turn signals, too.

14) Turn OFF your fucking cell phone in movie theaters, restaurants and churches. Are you really THAT important? You can't go two hours without talking on the phone?

15) If you MUST use a cell phone in your car, pull over and park to do it. If more people HAD to do that, we'd have fewer people talking on cell phones. Those calls suddenly wouldn't be so important.

16) Take shit when you have to, but don't make it a habit. DO NOT take shit when you can stop it.

17) Learn to tell the difference between "friends" and "acquaintences." It doesn't matter whether you slept with them or not. There is a big difference between the two.

18) Be a complete slut in bed. Try it all and never feel guilty about it.

19) Accept responsibility for your own actions.

20) Eat what you like to eat and fuck all the doctors. Drink, smoke and dance with the devil. Who wants to live 100 years being miserable?

21) Read my blog every day. It is witty, well-written and just chock-full of gems such as this post. Trust me. Reading MY blog will make you a better person, not that I'm trolling for traffic or anything.

There. That's MY humble advice.

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