Gut Rumbles

February 11, 2007

Saturday night sleeping arrangements

Originally published February 10, 2002

I bought a blow-up bed when I furnished my new home. I didn't really have a reason to buy it at the time, but I did, figuring that it would come in handy some day. It did last night. I had a house full of people drinking heavily and in no condition to drive home. Both couches were staked out and claimed around midnight. My son's bed was occupied by an early casualty. I had two tall people eyeing the living room carpet and selecting a crash pad. That's when I broke out the blow-up bed.

We had a magnificent time unrolling the thing and figuring out how the pump worked, and we achieved inflation after only a few abortive efforts. Then we laid on it and rolled on it and pronounced it good. I started to sleep on it myself and give MY bed away, but I was kicked off by my friends and forced to walk to my lonely bedroom by myself while they slept on the blow-up bed. We deflated it this morning and discovered that it won't fit back in the box it came out of. Nothing ever does. I threw it and the box in the closet and we all went to the Huddle House for the kind of breakfast that drives coffee and orange juice stocks higher all over the world. Eggs may be an endangered species from the hurting we put on them this morning.

Then, everyone went home. And so did I.

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