Gut Rumbles

January 05, 2007


Originally published September 14, 2002

Okay, the lovely, red-toenailed JONI [Ed. Link goes to her current blog. Couldn't find related post.] has taken me to task for being a Male Chauvinist Pig. In a face-to-face confrontation, I would argue that point with her, because I don't believe that I am an MCP. I despise idealistic, heads-up-their-butts feminists and their radical, looney-tune denial of the facts of life, just the way I do tree-hugging, manatee-saving environmentalists. I believe that too many people look at the world through the wrong end of the binoculars, so that everything becomes compressed, distorted and totally out of perspective. There's a lot of obsession over trivia out there.

Joni Fisked me, so I'm about to attempt a Fisk Within A Fisk in response. Kids, DO NOT try this at home.

Sorry Darlin? Not Half As Sorry as You Will Be....

Joni said: "I generally like Acidman's self-proclaimed vitriolic rants. But this time, in response to a "feminist" post by Mindscapes, Heartstrings and Soul-Searching, I think he missed the mark. I've excised his comment to her post so I could dissect it here. My comments are underlined."
[Ed. And, Rob's "fisked" comment is italics and his response to the fisk is regular type. Just to keep this straight...]

Sorry, darlin', but I believe you've had your head pumped full of a lot of raw sewage over "feminism." That "women earning 1/3 of what men earn in the same job" is absolute bullshit. That urban legend has been shot down everywhere except college campuses today. NO BUSINESS would DARE pay a woman 1/3 the salary it paid a man for the same work in the US today. The EEOC and a locust-swarm of lawyers would sue the living daylights out of them and WIN. Many incompetent women hold high-paying jobs just so the jelly-bean count will be correct to the Powers That Be.

Joni says: "So you're saying that because there are laws that prevent discrimination, among other things, that businesses are simply obeying them? Haven't you been watching the news or reading the papers? If corporations behaved and went by the books and paid attention to what is legal then my law firm and others like it would be out of business. Corporations break laws like this every day. I still subscribe to the maxim that a woman has to work twice as hard as a man does to get anywhere. But since I'm in a "pink collar" profession, I don't have to worry about hitting my head on that glass ceiling. But don't think for a second that it doesn't happen. I can pull up case after case for you. Not only in your own Circuit, but all over the country. And as soon as I finish this post I just might."

Joni: I have been deposed four times in "sexual harassment" lawsuits brought against my company. We won all four, because the woman in question was a worthless piece of shit and received EXACTLY what she deserved by being fired. But a boss treads on eggshells dealing with that situation. Expect the lawsuit, expect the EEOC investigators and expect a big shit-storm no matter what. Yes, "hostile environment" is the first thing out of a lazy bitch's mouth and she will lie like hell, after being carefully instructed about WHAT KIND OF LIES to tell for maximum effect by a scum-sucking lawyer, who KNOWS that he has a goldbrick for a client but just wants to reap some money out of a fertile field of fucked-up law. I submit that more more innocent people get raped by avaricious "discrimination" lawsuits than victims suffer true discrimination. It's just my opinion, after 23 years of dealing with this shit in a REAL workplace, so I could be wrong. Just keep your paperwork in order, if you're in my position.

That "contraception" nonsense? WOMEN become pregnant; men don't. Who do you THINK the burden of contraception should be on? In an ideal world, the woman would be responsible enough to ensure that no "accidents" happened. But when the law is structured that an illegitimate child is a meal ticket to welfare, child-support and a host of other government rewards, responsibility is NOT encouraged. Hell, I had a vasectomy YEARS ago because women can't be trusted to watch out for themselves.

Joni says: "Well, isn't it just like a man to think he can run around and spill his precious semen anywhere he fucking well pleases and devil be damned the consequences. Women don't get pregnant by themselves. And they shouldn't be required to raise the brat alone either. Responsibility should be borne equally by both partners. You're more of a MCP than I dared dream possible. Bah. Nothing surprises me anymore."

Yep, men are like that, splling their precious semen everywhere they go. It would land on bushes and trees and between the pages of pornographic magazines if there weren't so many horny women willing to harvest it for themselves. Women DON'T get pregnant by themselves. It always takes two to tango. But the woman is the one who BECOMES pregnant, and it ain't rocket science to figure out how that happens, and it ain't rocket science to figure out how to prevent it. You seem to have a very fungible definition of "responsibility." Yeah, I understand that if I become pregnant, I'LL be the one who gestates for nine months, I'LL be the one who delivers the baby, and I'LL be the one stuck with it when all is said and done. So, if I get pregnant, it's YOUR FAULT, too!

Bullshit. I run my life better than that.

Joni said: "Snipped rant about Susan Faludi, whoever she may be. I'm too lazy to look on Google."

You should read her. A true feminist fucktard.

Men and women are not equal, and they never will be. Men, as a rule have more upper-body strength, can run faster, and do more physically demanding tasks than a woman can. Women are just as smart (and maybe MORE devious) and they have the force of government guaranteeing not only "equality," but a leg up in the workplace today.

Joni says: " Well, I know a helluva lot of men who are content to sit on their asses while women support them. And raise the kids. And you completely ignore the fact that it's not WOMEN who are getting all the perks. It's minority men! So much so that the WASP male is probably more discriminated against than any other demographic group there is. (When he bothers to get a job that is.)"

As a WASP male who has worked 23 years at the same place and climbed up the ranks, worked hard, provided for my family, brought home the bacon, put in incredible overtime and saw it all taken away from me by a judge who resembled Howard Sprague from the Andy Griffith show, I totally agree with that statement. So, what? That's how it goes. If anybody ever told you life was fair, they lied to you.

I have a chemical engineer and a mechanical engineer who work with me in my area of responsibility. They both are male, both are hard-working and good at their jobs. Both also talk about graduating from college with 3.5 GPAs and watching recruiters swarm around females with a 2.2 GPA, just to get the jelly-bean count correct. If I were a black lesbian today, the goddam world would be my oyster. That's just how fucked-up things are.
Go out in the real world and see for yourself. If you're half-assed at what you do, you'll go to the front of the line because you are female.

Joni says:" That's pure bullshit. The only way you get to the head of the line is by being good, period. Man or woman. Unless you are unfortunate enough to work in an office like mine where it's more important WHO you know than WHAT you know. I have no pedigree. All I bring to the table is my intelligence and work ethic. Fuck them if that isn't enough."

I am a white, Southern, heterosexual male. That's FOUR strikes against me in the politically-correct workplace of today. I BETTER be good at my job, or I won't last long. Go back and read about engineers.

I live with this shit every day. Rant complete.

Joni asks: "What shit do you live with everyday? YOU are the head of the plant, aren't you? Not a woman? So what woman has trampled your masculine sensibilities (now THERE'S an oxymoron for you) by climbing over you to get to the top?"

No, I am not head of the plant. I am production coordinator for one of three areas of the plant. I'm a boss, but I'm not a BIG TIME boss. I'm more like a Chief Petty Officer or a Top Sergeant than I am royalty in the pecking order. I like it that way. I spend more time dealing with the people and the problems in the area than I do going to meetings and dealing with the royalty.

My ex-wife was a lowly lab supervisor when she recruited me to become her husband (and yes, she did that). I was the youngest General Foreman in the history of the plant at the time, and I ran the "widowmaker," the sulfuric acid plant (does "Acidman" ring a bell now?), the steam plant all all the site services. Once she got her fangs in me, I saw a lot of potential in her and taught her a lot, often in bed at night while we smoked cigarettes and talked about work. I predicted back then that I had probably played my string out about as far as it would ever reach, but the sky was the limit for her.

She had a degree in chemistry (I was an English Major), she was a go-getter, but most important of all, she was an ATTRACTIVE FEMALE. We didn't have enough females in top jobs, and Corporate would be looking for some, just to make the jelly-bean count look better to the government. She was in the right place at the right political time.

I was correct in everything I said to her back then. She is "Manager of Continuous Improvement" today, and she sits on her adulterous, fine ass in a nice office with the Plant Manager just two doors away. She's in Phoenix, Arizona this week, and I don't know why I wasn't allowed to keep Quinton here while she was gone. I suspect she left those duties to her dope-smoking, unemployed lover just to spite me. She does that a lot.

So, Joni, THAT'S the woman who trampled my masculine sensibilities, oxymoron or not. It's been a rough year for me.

Joni said: "Come and get me, Hoss!"

I believe I just did.

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