Gut Rumbles

June 10, 2006

bad guy

I am a horrible person.

Today is Saturday, so the local kids were bored. They descended on my house today, wanting to "earn" some money. They KNOW that I'm a sucker, because I'm an old fart who doesn't do much yardwork himself anymore. I pay cash, too.

So, I had my grass cut, my weeds whacked, my driveway edged and all the crap around my garden picked up and stuffed into my trash can. I paid those kids $10.00 for the whole job, and they ran off just as happy as they could be.

That made me think... MY SON is afraid of ME???

Every got-dam kid in this neighborhood likes to come see Mr. Rob, because he tells good stories and he always pays you if you work over there. Plus, he says it's okay to pick blackberries--- all you want! as long as you tell him what you're gonna do first. Wanna shoot some hoops? Use Mr. Rob's goal in HIS driveway--- just ring the doorbell and ask him. He's gonna say "yes," because he always does.

Fuck me dead. I've got a serious question.

My son was NEVER "scared" of me until Jennifer remarried. If you've followed this blog for a while, you KNOW how much I enjoyed watching my boy play basketball. He always gave me a grin and a "thumbs-up" when I came to his games, and I never missed a one. But right around Christmas last year...

Everything changed.

I can't explain it. My daughter didn't start to hate me or FEAR me then. The rest of the kids over here in southeast Jawja don't. (Young Jack STILL says that I'm his step-daddy.)

I learned a long time ago in the chemical plant that when something went wrong, the first question to ask yourself was... "what has changed? The place was built to run one way, day after day, 24-7. When it DIDN'T, I knew. I could HEAR IT!!!

After many years of midnight shifts, I could LISTEN to the place and tell you when it was running right or what was going wrong. That's what made me good at my job.

I can't do that, not no more. I'll admit that I'm a shitty pilot for my own airplane today, and I really do wish that I had crashed and burned in a glorious warrior's death several years ago. I can't listen to things and know what I'm hearing anymore. But I'm not totally brain-dead. Not yet.

Jennifer got remarried. I got sober. Quinton started to hate and "fear" me. I haven't seen or talked to my son since January. Musta been something I did.

It damn sure couldn't be Jennifer. Or that Dumbo-eared fuck she married, either.


Hang in there. Quinton will come around....

Posted by: Richmond on June 10, 2006 05:27 PM

Dunno what to tell ya man, but from meeting ya and reading your blog this aint anything you caused.

hope things come around to bite that bloodless bitch-cunt in the ass someday

Posted by: Heath on June 10, 2006 05:28 PM

I'm sorry things aren't as good with Quinton and you as should be.

On another note, I am moving into your neighborhood! I just had to pay some college kid $75 to mow my grass and edge the driveway. *CRAZY*

Posted by: Steph on June 10, 2006 06:27 PM

Makes me sick - I hope she gets what she deserves someday.

Posted by: Lisa on June 10, 2006 07:41 PM come around when they get older.

My step-father and mother tried to scare me about my real dad when I was a little girl...they told me he was a crazy drunk and would kidnap me. I kept waiting for him to do it...

I'm 60 years old and am in the process of changing my last name to my REAL father's surname.

Posted by: vicki on June 10, 2006 07:57 PM

There's no way to tell what the 'X ' and her new ass have told the kids about you. All you do know is that it wasn't good and it was all lies. My X took the kids ( 2 girls) when they were 9 and 11. For several years everything was fine, then she remarried and things changed suddenly. Now 20 years later they have changed back, the girls are now middle aged and know the truth and i didn't tell them anything. Your's will figure it out all on their own, the only bad thing is they will then hate their mother deep down for what she did. I don't think the fact i'm now old and have a considerable estate to leave someone had anything to do with it. Ya, right. Momma is still greedy.

Posted by: Scrapiron on June 10, 2006 08:14 PM

After my mamma remarried she started in on the whole "your father is evil, he'll kill you if you go anywhere with him" bit. Well, that's not quite right, she got remarried right before I was 8 and she started in on the "he'll kill you" (then point to some splattered road kill to drive the point home) when I was 5. She did however step up the vitriol against him (as well as the standard kidnapping bullshit), and, for the first time, his family, who are absolutely the salt of the earth. She told them that I didn't like to see them, that I was scared of them. When I was with them I was at my happiness. She knew it and it ate her up.

Of course, she now denies ever sayin' a damn word of it.

Can't tell you exactly what Jennifer's sayin' or what twisted reason she's got in her little head for doin' it, but I can damn sure tell you that sooner or later your kids will come around. You've just got to live long enough for that knock on the door. I got the idea to look my father up when I was in my senior year of high school. Thought I'd track him down right after I graduated. He died six weeks before I walked.

Ease up on those "sometimes I wish I were dead" thoughts you have when you're fellin' sorry for yourself. Otherwise, you'll really disappoint your kids.

Posted by: red on June 10, 2006 09:31 PM

Do you have visitation? Somehow you need to see this child; he needs you. Especially because anyone who would turn a child against his/her parent is an unfit parent/guardian/step parent/whatever.

Posted by: maxnnr on June 10, 2006 09:56 PM

No. It's the remarriage. It's easier to hate you than to hate the idea that his mom produced another "dad" he has to live with.

But it all straightens out. Just as you've learned with the memories you've got of your own mom. Kids see things by shifting blame. Grown ups know better.

Don't paint the picture as "rosy" for others. Life is seldom that way at all. Just don't put up the barriers that it matters to you, one way or the other, what Jennifer does. Somebody else has to live with all the things that used to drive you up the wall. That doesn't make the new guy a lucky guy at all.

And, your son's pain is real. So people adapt.

Posted by: Carol Herman on June 10, 2006 10:25 PM

"Every got-dam kid in this neighborhood likes to come see Mr. Rob, because he tells good stories."

I'm sure Gut Man is telling the youngsters uplifting stories offering themes such as: love thy neighbor, respect authority, take care of the environment.
Stories of tolerance and respect - - oh who the fuck am I kidding - you probably tell them about the night you nailed three hookers back stage at the local drinking hole.

Posted by: k on June 10, 2006 10:52 PM

Naw, K... the kids aren't ready for those stories yet.

Neither are you, twatburger.

Posted by: Acidman on June 10, 2006 11:07 PM

Your ex is married tor Prince Charles?

Posted by: og on June 11, 2006 12:09 AM

I don't know what to say other then keep your head u man, and keep on keepin' on. Since my wife walked out, and school let out, my youngin's stay gone long as they can. It's tough, and I know it's really tough not seein' Quinton... I'd be gone crazy if I couldn't see him, or my daughter.

Posted by: RedNeck on June 11, 2006 12:12 AM

OG, maybe she married Cuthbert Rumbold (that'd be an "Are You Being Served?" reference for the non-fan).

Posted by: BlogDog on June 11, 2006 10:00 AM
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