Gut Rumbles

April 25, 2006

dumb dog

I've always asserted that I am a dog person. Dogs like me and I like them. Dogs hate cats and I do, too. Dogs can lick their own balls and I can... never mind. Let's not go there.

Despite my affinity for canines, I will admit that dogs often do really stupid things.

I once watched a pedigreed dalmation (REALLY DUMB DOGS!!!) get its head stuck in an empty plastic pickle jug (the dog smelled bait shrimp residue in the jug, poked his head inside to get a better sniff and then couldn't get his head out. He found himself... uh... in a pickle). The dog tried shaking the jug off, but when that didn't work, he took off running at warp speed, even though he couldn't see where he was going.

I don't know what the damn dog was thinking. Was he trying to OUTRUN the jug? Was he thinking at ALL? Who knows?

If the dog had a plan, it worked perfectly, because he sped head-first (at about 40 MPH) into the 2" X 4" legs of a wooden picnic table. The collision sounded like a baseball bat smacking a home run ball. The dog knocked itself silly and went rolling across the grass, but the jug was dislodged in the process.

It's just a good thing that the dog had a really hard head because that lick would have killed a lesser animal. It must have taught the dog a lesson because, despite being thick as a brick, he never stuck his head in a shrimp jug again.

Dumb dogs. Gotta love 'em.


Dogs have a very simple outlook on everything they meet in life; if they can't eat it or screw it, they piss on it.

Posted by: BobG on April 25, 2006 11:04 AM

I'm glad my dog has not done anything that stupid............yet.

Posted by: Maeve on April 25, 2006 03:34 PM

Love it! What really used to provide hours of fun is getting the peanut butter out, grabbing a huge dollop on your fingers and scooping it off inside the dog's mouth.

They'll sit there for about two hours sucking it off the roofs of their mouths, all the while looking at you with the most confused face I've seen on a non-human.

Posted by: Roy on April 25, 2006 08:48 PM
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