April 14, 2006

... bloody hell....

My rules for using a public bathroom...

RULE #1: Upon entering a public bathroom, use a kleenex to open the door, (and the stall door as well) and never ever ever sit down in a public restroom.

RULE #2: Throw one or two sheets of toilet paper into water before PEEING, as it eliminates any splash back (when peeing from a "hovering" position)

RULE #3: When done, check seat for any sprinkles, (if found, use an ample, but not excessive, amount of toilet paper to clean it off)

RULE #4: Use foot to flush (there are never any exceptions to this rule)

RULE #5: Dispense fesh paper towels PRIOR to washing hands (therefore eliminating the need to touch the scuzzy handle on the towel dispenser AFTER you have washed up)

And as far as tampons go, I wrap it up in toilet paper (and toss it in the TRASH CAN) before proceeding to the sink.

Exit bathroom, (once again using a kleenex to open the door)

I am NOT one of those odious pigs who leaves a mess for someone else to clean up.

I used the mens room once in a small restaurant where the ladies room was out of order, and although I dont recall any OBVIOUS messes, I do recall that there was an overwhelming odor of urine.....(ugh)

OH and I always travel with a few Wash-N-Dris....

Yes, but those ladies sure have some good pussy.

I think the mess is from unsupervised young girls. Whereas a momma will take her pre-school age son into the ladies room and make sure he cleans up after himself, a daddy will send his little girl into the restroom by herself while he waits outside the door.

I can’t explain the tampon messes though. My momma always taught me to wrap up used feminine hygiene products in so many layers of tissue or paper towels that the person who empties the trash can’t tell what it is.

Why do men pee on the floor?

"RULE #5: Dispense fesh paper towels PRIOR to washing hands (therefore eliminating the need to touch the scuzzy handle on the towel dispenser AFTER you have washed up)"

And you don't see the fault in that logic?

Maybe women do things differently, but in the men's room you see a couple of behaviors:

1. Guys who don't wash after taking a leak. Nasty, but at least they're not touching the towel dispenser.

2. Guys who exit the urinal/stall, wash their hands, then get a towel. Note that they're touching the handle with CLEAN hands.

3. The guy (only seen 1 so far, thank God) who goes by Ruth's model and gropes the handle with (presumably) DIRTY hands then washes up, thus leaving a polluted handle for the rest of us to use.

Notice the irony here? The people who are afraid of a "scuzzy handle" are the ONLY ones who are MAKING it scuzzy!

This reminds me of a cute story - nothing near as bad as Acidman's, but here goes.

A Jr HS janitor was fed up with cleaning the girls rooms after school. Seems the girls, nearing the puberty level, were learning how to apply makeup, especially lipstick, and would kiss the mirrors, leaving kiss prints literally all over the mirror. After spending several days of having to spend extra time (and elbow grease) to remove the greasy lipstick from the mirrow, he asked the principal to have the girls meet after school on one of the restrooms to try to resolve the issue.
Promptly after school, Janitor, Principal and girls showed up. After the Principal made a few remarks about the need for them to not be kissing the mirror, he turned it over the janitor to show the girls the difficulty of cleaning the mess up. the janitor promptly grabbed a toilet brush, dipped it into the nearest toilet and scrubbed the mirrors.

Problem never happened again.

Let me clarify for those who have a problem following directions:

I remove the FRESH towels PRIOR to washing my hands.

After I wash my hands, I have fresh paper towels at the ready (no need to use the dispenser to get any) GOT IT?

In other words, I dont touch anything in a public restroom AFTER I have disinfected my hands...

Geesh!

I neglected to add that I "dispense" paper towels with my ELBOW....I dont add to the scuzziness of the paper towel dispenser (like Scotts mother does)

Random comment -- While taking microbiolgy prior to med school we had to do environmental cultures. I thought I'd be "smart" and culture the hell outta the men's bathroom -- urinal handle, toilet handle, towel dispenser, exit handle on door.

Didn't grow a damn thing secondary to some "ionic" thing happening on metal. The kids who cultured their desks grew some weird shit though.

As long as we're talking about bathroom procedure, I've got two questions that I've always wanted answered.

1. Why do so many men pick their noses and wipe the results on the walls of public restrooms?

2. What's the deal with spitting in a urinal before you use it?

I see/hear these behaviors nearly every day in every office restroom I've ever used.

Now, Ruth, there's no need to bring mothers into it.

I think you'll agree that adding the bit about using your elbow puts a whole different spin on the original comment.

I really am glad to find out that the pool of people who I *thought* were doing that has dropped to only one. Unfortunately, I KNOW he didn't do the elbow trick. I considered Rob's catch-all solution of having him dragged off and shot, but since we're in the same office I'd probably having to do his work, too. Can't win for losing, I guess.

I unfortunately have to say that adult women are guilty of some of these disgusting habits. I posted signs inside each stall of the ladies room at work expressing my disgust at whomever it was that hovered and sprinkled the seat with urine. The signs were torn down but the sprinkle problem went away.

A buddy of mine's brother had a chain of beauty parlors in Seattle when I was in High School in the early 60's they catered to some of the highest income social elites. Those cows made a worse mess in the bathrooms than dairy cows do in the milking parlor. I know, I used to milk, too. I'll take cleaning up after Holsteins over Social Brahmans any day in the week. The higher up on the societal ladder the worse personal hygeine you will fiind. I think it's an entitlement mentality. They're too good to clean up after themselves, that's what serfs are for.

Been there, done that, back you up 100% Rob. It's incredible.

What the hell is the matter with women? And they have the gall to complain about *men's* habits!

100% in agreement on filthy ladies rooms. How about a WalMart ladies room? You're really missing something if you've missed one'a those. Crap and bloody smears all over the place. You'd think they climb to the top of the stalls and sliiiiiiiiiiide down the freakin' wall instead of using toilet paper. Not to mention body odor leaving a lingering trail in the air that would gag a maggot. All I can think about when a woman leaves an odor like that is how her car seat or sofa must smell. Do men really touch women like that? My sister-in-law worked for a gynecologist. She once told me that...nah...you don't want to hear it. Ewwwwwwwwwww.......I'm making myself sick.

Agreement with Acid Man. I used to clean a "fine" restaurant bathroom every day and the things that men did had nothing on the things women did. Granted it had the urine smell but my God! Women would actually wipe their ass with the toilet seat! Just sick!

Cleaned the bathrooms in a church to help pay for college. Rob's right...the womens bathroom was ALWAYS the worst. I think they did it because they didn't have to clean it...maybe gave them some sense of "royalty" or something. Bad enough to gag a maggot.

I cleaned restrooms at the start of my "afternoon shift" at an Interstate gas station while in college. And, also in college, I inspected restrooms in the State Historical Society Museum while closing the place up, to make sure no one was hiding. Before the cleaning guy came in.

I could comment, but . . .
I'm planning on eating soon . . .