Gut Rumbles

January 18, 2006

results are in

The heartless bastid fired her, which is just what I voted he would do. I know the guy. He revels in wielding merciless power over others and relishes his ability to crush young girls like empty beer cans while he cackles maniacally. (Other than those minor character defects, he's actually a pretty nice fellow.)

As cold-blooded as he may be, he and I DO share a common weakness:

Iím a sucker for female tears. I canít stand to see a woman cry. It goes against my internal wiring or something. Thereís just something so wrong about a pretty, young, girl sobbing. I felt as if I was breaking this girlís heart. I wanted to comfort her and tell her everything would be alright.

I have the same reaction, even though I should know better. Some wimmen can turn those water-works on and off like a kitchen faucet and they use that ability to keep a man off-balance. Bejus knows, it works on me.

I agree with the "internal wiring" idea. Something about a crying woman triggers a primordial protective instinct in most guys, and we want to comfort the woman, then slay whatever it was that made her cry. Or we want her to quit crying because she's making us feel uncomfortable and guilty. Or we know that we'll NEVER get in her panties if she's so upset. It's a very complicated testosterone thing.

That's why female tears are such an effective weapon. And THEY know it.


I would never use tears as a weapon. I hate crying!

Posted by: livey on January 18, 2006 08:34 PM

Maybe so, Livey, but you ain't most girls.

My lady doesn't cry at me, either. That might be one reason that we get along so well.

Posted by: Pawpaw on January 18, 2006 09:28 PM

Evolutionarily, men have always been the providers and the protectors. That's the way it works. Shit, I even protect men. Couple that with the fact that only men understand the way things are, and there you have it. It's our sad burden, but I'm proud to bear it: "If-in you don'ts got somethin to die for, you aint's got nothin to live for." Fuck em all, and to all a goodnight.

Posted by: Ga-ne-sha on January 18, 2006 09:40 PM

Take a contrition hummer and put her back to work.

Posted by: rightisright on January 18, 2006 09:50 PM

Shit, bitches crying just pisses me off.

Posted by: Bane on January 18, 2006 10:29 PM

Guys, We girls LOVE that you hate to see us cry. Not to use it against you but because it does make us feel protected.
Rob I loved all the reasons you listed, made me laugh out loud.

Oh and I'm not asking for another bumper sticker, I sent you an email the last two times you offered and I've yet to receive one. I'm just going to assume it's because you like my titties just the way they are.

Posted by: Dawn on January 18, 2006 10:58 PM

The only time I cry in front of a man is if I'm mad as hell,,,and then look out!! If I get mad enought to cry it makes me even madder.

Posted by: Michele on January 19, 2006 04:34 AM

You've just had a mind blowing roll in the hay with your woman and the tears start. WTF is up with that ladies?

Posted by: Ed on January 19, 2006 09:15 AM

Yep, at one time that tear filled eyes whimpering like a puppy shit got to me. I got over when I got tired of pulling knives out of my back, if she is hugging you it is because she is looking for a soft spot to drive the dagger home.

Posted by: jamesoldguy on January 19, 2006 09:24 AM

It was over 2 years before my husband saw me cry for the 1st time. I hate for people to accuse me of 'turning on the tears', so when I did need to cry, I would do it in the bathroom.

I admire the bastid for firing her. It took nards. I bet she'll learn her lesson, if not then she was stupid to be working anyway.

Posted by: Danielle on January 19, 2006 09:30 AM

Ed, it depends on if it was mind blowing for her too. If it was only mind blowing for you, the tears are disappointment. If her mind was blown, the tears are a good thing, a relief, happiness. You'll know by the smile on her face.

Posted by: livey on January 19, 2006 11:14 AM

Wicked Thoughts has some really outrageous comments from potential employees collected from CEOs. Go visit there, Acid.

Posted by: Maggie on January 19, 2006 11:33 AM

The only time I cry is when I get pulled over.
6 times now, and no ticket! Is that wrong? NO!

Posted by: jane on January 19, 2006 08:08 PM

Shit, bitches crying just pisses me off.

I was fixing to say just about this as I read down the comments.

Missus Cat doesn't use tears as a weapon, 'cause she knows. So I know that when she does cry, it's for real.

Posted by: Desert Cat on January 19, 2006 10:18 PM

I'm the same as Michele, with the "crying because I'm pissed and it pisses me off even more" thing. And, the whole "look the f*uck OUT" part... *grin*

The crying after sex... that's a female version of jumping up, spiking your boxers on the floor, yelling "Whoo HOO, Baby!!!", then ripping the headboard off and running around with it like we're in football game and just made a TD. Usually....
(And, I've not heard any stories of women crying because sex was unsatisfying. Getting unholy pissed off and ugly- silent treatment for the guy, blabbing about it to all her friends- yes, but crying... nope.)

I don't cry to get out of tickets, either.
I just give 'em my license, my registration, my insurance card AND... the "Get Out of Jail Free" card from my Monopoly game, in that order.
Don't be a snot and make him laugh... no ticket.

As for the "poor, young little" lying a-hole...

You go, Dax.
He was 100 percent right, firing her.

That stupid, self-absorbed, Junior BC in the making needs to learn ASAFP that that shit is just WRONG.
I can see her clearly in a courtroom in a coupla years, lying and bawling like a moonstruck calf, getting a judge to nail some poor bastards balls to the wall for some spurious horseshit reason... as usual.

Now she knows there's at least one man who isn''t gonna fall for it. Too bad she's probably so friggin' stupid she thinks it's Dax's problem, not her own.

Gaw-damn, I hate a liar.

(Betcha anything it's women like her and her ilk who make a hairy asshole look good to some men by comparison....)

Viva Dax "Karma" Montana!!!

Posted by: Stevie on January 20, 2006 04:34 AM

To quote myself, I only cry when someone has died or someone is about to (at my hands).

Posted by: Juliette on January 21, 2006 07:19 PM
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